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Bella doesn't hear anything from the librarian, and, when she checks in, is told that there is nothing - no expert faculty, no further available books, no correspondence course, nothing. The librarian does at least seem sympathetic. Bella is unhappy. She reads all the books on Occlumency, finds no clues, and tentatively gives up in the face of so much else to do. Her theory teacher, a Scottish import who takes a liking to her, calls her "his little Ravenclaw", which Bella looks up and determines to be a compliment.
She meets the library elves - Mith, Kay, and their small child who nonetheless does a prodigious amount of work, Hazzy. They are friendly, but don't seem to really understand her questions about them; at any rate no one seems to be gratuitously abusing them beyond allowing them their work, so she solicits their invaluable services in book-hunting.
Meanwhile, Sherlock settles into an unschedule. He's allowed the sleeping potion twice weekly to avoid dependence and excess side effects, and uses it Tuesdays and Thursdays; on weekends, Bella tries to absent herself from the room as much of the day as possible to let him catch up, and she does the same thing on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays in the afternoons. Sometimes she sleeps over in Tony's room, but this leaves her with an awful crick in her back even after she learns a Cushioning Charm, and she doesn't like to do it more than once or twice weekly.
Bella's birthday arrives, and Euterpe comes in with gifts from home - arm-warmers and candy and a calligraphy kit from Renée, a book and money "because I don't know what you need where you are" from Charlie. She does not get a broom from Tony. She did not really expect a broom from Tony, especially after ceasing to be her roommate, so she doesn't sulk or even comment.
Sherlock gets her a present, though, and if it's not quite better than a broom it's at least close. It appears on her desk, which narrows down the suspects, and he admits it when she asks, and it's a book on something called -
The Philosopher's Stone.
It doesn't have a recipe. No one knows the recipe. But it has lots of stuff about it.
Bella makes up her mind to become much more attentive in Potions.
And Sherlock gets very, very hugged.
occluminous
occluminous
"Yes," Bella agrees. "But - but I think maybe it's worse with magic people, like Muggles at least pretend to care about some things that magic people don't and magic people are just as bad in the ways that Muggles are bad. I'm not sure yet, but that's what it looks like so far."
occluminous
"I'm not sure if pretending to care about stuff is actually better," says Bella after a musing pause. "But I have more practice arguing with people about really doing things they say they think they should than about arguing with them that they should care about things."
occluminous
"Like, I care about people not having to get hurt and die, and having the stuff they need, and about nobody messing with my brain even though it turns out there's no good way to learn Occlumency that anybody knows about, and about knowing who I am," says Bella. "What stuff do you care about? Specially so, that most people don't, I mean."
"Uh... I don't really compare what I care about to what most people care about," he says. "I don't really think about what I care about, like that."
"Instead... of sitting around listing stuff that matters to me? Uh, I do all the other stuff I do with my time?"
occluminous
"No, I mean - how do you - maybe you just don't," says Bella. "Know what you'd do if different stuff happened. Maybe people who aren't me just don't."
Feral shrugs.
"I know what I'd do if some stuff happened. But not unless I've thought of it. And not unless it matters."
"I know what I'd do if some stuff happened. But not unless I've thought of it. And not unless it matters."
occluminous
"By knowing what I care about, and which of those things I care about more," Bella says.
"I just don't have a list anywhere," he explains. "It sounds like you've got a list of stuff that matters to you, with a bunch of stuff on it, and it's all orderly and everything. I don't have one. But there's still stuff I care about, it's just not organized like yours."
occluminous
"I don't have, like, a master list," Bella says. "With everything all outlined neat. Maybe I should, but mostly it's all scattered around between notebooks and I have the general idea memorized and know where to look for details if I can't come up with them."
"It's not really," he shrugs. "Your way sounds like it'd confuse me more. What happens if what you care about changes while you're not looking?"
occluminous
"Then I notice that when I look again, and then I figure out why, and try to find out if it's going to happen again and if I want to let it."