"I think I was the first person to be anything resembling decent to him in four hundred years," says Bella quietly.

"Sounds about right," he says. "So that's what he loves you for. If I were you, I'd cross out everything you learn about Jokers and nasty surprises when it comes to this one."

"Okay. So that's Brilliance's distinguishing feature on top of being a talking deck of cards, I guess."

"Guess so," says the Joker. "Might not be permanent, but then again it might. Wait around another four hundred years and see."

"Okay," says Bella, cheering up at the thought of being around for four hundred years. "Who's next?"

"Mm, none of the rest are quite that dramatic," he says. "Don't know about Cam and Jellybean... Angela and Micaiah thought their god had picked them out as soulmates, that was sweet, he cried when he found out the god was a crappy AI and the soulmates thing was 'cause they were a good genetic match for lots of happy healthy angel babies... Kas met Amariah in Montreal, he didn't fall in love with her right away, they got to be friends and then just kept liking each other more. And Aegis and Sue, heh, they grew up together and for a while there she thought he was gay, so they didn't even get around to making out until the first big Bell party."

Bella snorts at the story about Aegis. "What about Rose?"

"Aww."

"By the way, you've found out we're all huge sluts, right?"

"I didn't know about all of you, but I was clear on Brilliance, yes. Even the one who thought God picked him a soulmate?"

"Even him. But he managed to land himself a whole culture of huge sluts, more or less, so Angela wasn't too surprised."

"Okay then," snorts Bella. "And you're not dating Golden, that's all business, and Pattern's all business too, yeah?"

"Yep, yep!"

"Hmm." Pause. "On their ends. What about on your end? And the others?"

"What?"

"Well, I just thought of something, and now I'm deciding if it'd be a good idea to tell you."

"...A good idea in what sense?"

"In the sense where if I tell you, you might be worse off than if I don't."

"Right off the bat, probably," he says. "But that doesn't make it a good idea, it just means Bells think differently than I do, and you already know that. And if I knew whether or not they'd want to tell you after I pointed out the obvious problem, then I'd know whether or not I want to tell you, 'cause I know they're not into intentionally sabotaging their own alts."

"'Course they're not, if they were then their alts would be into intentionally sabotaging them," says Bella absently.

"Is that really the only reason?"

"No, but - well, I'm guessing, you've met them all and I have not, but when I meet these other Bells, I expect they're going to want to help me and they'll be curious about me and they'll tell me everything I want to know and we'll like each other just fine - but we aren't going to be friends exactly, they're not going to be more sisters and a brother for me, we aren't going to have lunch together on random Tuesdays and watch movies together and teach each other to make chocolate mousse. We're going to make sure we know what each other's priorities and resources and needs are and come to unusually rapid agreements about how to distribute everything we have between us and everyone's going to be very careful about not intruding on other Bells' jurisdictions. We're not into intentional sabotage in general, I bet, of anyone whose goals we can agree with - and we qualify for each other - but I bet the peal of Bells looks more like a lot of very effective cooperators than like a pack of close friends."