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Isabella cannot reconcile it.
Timid, respectful, obedient, harmless Nathaniel.
And a monster who'd capture Shell off the street and force her home with him and destroy her.
She can't fathom it. She is not a perfect copy of the other Bells. She thinks - they agree, for that matter - that she's turned out gentler and softer than they. Certainly she did not have as fine an education, except perhaps compared to Shell Bell, except in music. But they are still undeniably, essentially versions of her.
She has to know what happened to Voice, to make him Voice and not timid, respectful, obedient, harmless Nathaniel.
So she tells Micaiah where she will be going, and asks Jane to take her there, and she seeks out Voice.
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jovahs_heiress
jovahs_heiress
Angela has a few evils on her. She can stick it on, and stick the unnamed daemon onto his torching specially in the same motion.
"I'll leave you be, now," she says. "Thank you for your help." She turns invisible so she won't alarm anyone at the Janepoint on Voice and Queenie's old world.
[Now, please, Jane.]
"I'll leave you be, now," she says. "Thank you for your help." She turns invisible so she won't alarm anyone at the Janepoint on Voice and Queenie's old world.
[Now, please, Jane.]
Voice sits down in his chair, and his daemon climbs out of his cloak.
He pets her feathers.
She cuddles into his hands.
"I love you," she murmurs.
"I don't," he murmurs back.
"I know," she says, and she bumps the top of her head against his fingers, and he pets her some more.
He pets her feathers.
She cuddles into his hands.
"I love you," she murmurs.
"I don't," he murmurs back.
"I know," she says, and she bumps the top of her head against his fingers, and he pets her some more.
jovahs_heiress
Invisible in Voice's world, Angela teleports to "one hundred miles Londonward of the South Pole" - Amariah suggested it as an unobtrusive place to hang out on Earths, suitable for people who do not get cold - and finds that she doesn't not get cold to quite the same extent as Amariah and requires a bit of hexing to be comfortable. Once that is taken care of, she peers into her copy of Stella's past-watching power, and looks.
He is five years old and very like Nathaniel, and his mother is tucking him into bed and kissing his forehead.
"Goodnight, Steven," she murmurs.
"Goodnight, Mother," he murmurs back, and she turns off the light and walks out of the room.
"Goodnight, Steven," she murmurs.
"Goodnight, Mother," he murmurs back, and she turns off the light and walks out of the room.
jovahs_heiress
She skips ahead. She doesn't want to look at more than she has to - not even with his permission, not when he hates the idea - and she can always go back. Where was he when he was - twenty?
Twenty-one and he's studying again. Twenty-two and he's on a date with a girl about his age, laughing at her jokes, agreeing with all her opinions, hanging on her every word.
jovahs_heiress
Angela skips ahead in smaller increments still after the girl, because - that might be important. One of Voice's distinguishing characteristics as a torturer is that he never touched his captives. Shell had enough of a sample to know this to be unusual. And yet here is a girl. What is he doing an hour later - two?
The date ends. He goes home and curls up in his bed and has the shakes for a while, then goes to sleep.
The date goes fairly well.
He flinches whenever she touches him, but he does his best to hide it.
Afterward, he curls up in bed and shakes again.
He flinches whenever she touches him, but he does his best to hide it.
Afterward, he curls up in bed and shakes again.
jovahs_heiress
This seems, if perhaps not formative, at least an examplar of the problem. Pastwatching is specific enough that Angela can just look in on the other dates with this person.
They follow roughly the same pattern: minimal physical contact, slight awkwardness, and intense stress reactions afterward. From him, anyway. The girl is not similarly affected.
She's started to notice how simultaneously standoffish and obsequious he is.
She doesn't appreciate it.
They argue.
She doesn't appreciate it.
They argue.
"You're cute, but you're not really anything else."
What he is is trembling. He hides his face in his hands.
"And you're so sensitive! About the littlest things! Really, I don't... I don't think we can make this work."
"Please," he mumbles, "I thought we were..."
"Were," she says. "Yeah. Not anymore."
He trembles some more. She stands watching him for another few seconds, then murmurs, "Bye," and leaves.
He sleeps very badly that night.
What he is is trembling. He hides his face in his hands.
"And you're so sensitive! About the littlest things! Really, I don't... I don't think we can make this work."
"Please," he mumbles, "I thought we were..."
"Were," she says. "Yeah. Not anymore."
He trembles some more. She stands watching him for another few seconds, then murmurs, "Bye," and leaves.
He sleeps very badly that night.