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Isabella cannot reconcile it.
Timid, respectful, obedient, harmless Nathaniel.
And a monster who'd capture Shell off the street and force her home with him and destroy her.
She can't fathom it. She is not a perfect copy of the other Bells. She thinks - they agree, for that matter - that she's turned out gentler and softer than they. Certainly she did not have as fine an education, except perhaps compared to Shell Bell, except in music. But they are still undeniably, essentially versions of her.
She has to know what happened to Voice, to make him Voice and not timid, respectful, obedient, harmless Nathaniel.
So she tells Micaiah where she will be going, and asks Jane to take her there, and she seeks out Voice.
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jovahs_heiress
jovahs_heiress
"And you don't want me to make you able to look for yourself, and you don't want Jane to look, and you don't want me to talk to the judge who already knows because it's possible they've forgotten, and you probably don't want me to go to the world you lived in and have a look at its past as concerns you either."
He shakes his head again.
jovahs_heiress
"And there is a reason we arranged for Jane to need permission to judgesight, so I am not going to do any of those things anyway," sighs Angela, "in spite of the fact that you certainly didn't much care what Shell wanted, or what Queenie wanted, or what any of the other people you kept captive wanted." She shakes her head. "And lie detection only detects lies, not mistakes, so I can't just ask you to answer the question various ways until we find the right one."
He shivers.
"...A what?"
jovahs_heiress
"There's a world one of us is from where people have external souls. Usually shaped like animals. They're part of the people they belong to, I can't imagine anyone being afraid of their own, but they have separate bodies. If you had one she'd be company of sorts."
"...that... might be... nice," murmurs Voice.
jovahs_heiress
"I could ask Jane to put you briefly in the world where they exist, and then you'd have one," says Angela.
She leaves unsaid if I get what I came for.
She leaves unsaid if I get what I came for.
He stays quiet.
jovahs_heiress
"I will, if you'll agree to one of the options that tells me what I want to know."
"...go to my world," he murmurs eventually. "Go to my world and look there. And, and don't, and please don't come back."
jovahs_heiress
"She - it will probably be a she, but not necessarily - won't be able to go very far away from you without it hurting, unless you stretch the distance enough to snap," says Angela. "You won't want to let anyone else touch her - other daemons are fine but you're not likely to encounter any here. I'm not sure exactly what it would be like but I'm assured that apart from the most intimate of circumstances it's to be avoided. I can give you the ability to tuck her away inside yourself whenever you like, if you want. Say when and I'll ask Jane to send you to Alethia and back to get her."
"...O-okay," he says hesitantly, and he finally straightens up in his chair.
He nods.
He arrives plus one smallish brownish bird, who squeaks and hides in the folds of his cloak immediately.
"Thank you," he says, shivering.