Oct 23, 2018 8:53 PM
unreliable doorstop
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"Sweetie, there's two of you."

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(Eights laughs.)

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Timer snorts. "Unless there is a sense in which the mate bond is amenable to magic, nothing doing," he says. "I'd play - although I do think the bond was patching something in the sexual orientation department, so I'd rather you presto-changeo first - but Nathan would sooner tear me apart, I'm betting."

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"And you, as I recall, are not into that."

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He laughs.

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"If, unbeknownst to me, I were into that, I think my timer would've had me sticking around at your place long enough to run into Chainsaw or somebody by now," remarks Timer.

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"Ooh, who's that?"

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"Chainsaw is a torturer," says Eights. "He's very friendly. I'm getting the sense you guys would get along."

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"Torturers are exactly what they sound like," adds Timer helpfully.

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"Fun," says the Joker. "Fun is what they sound like."

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"You'll have to get Eights to introduce you, 'cause I can't. And you'll have to work around the fact that any torturer here is used to their playthings being able to torch," Timer adds as an afterthought.

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"'Torch', meaning...?"

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"I'd demonstrate, but I don't have anything sharp on me," says Eights.

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"Bet you do, though, babe," says Timer, holding a hand out in the Joker's direction.

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Laughing, he produces a knife—whether by sleight of hand or magic is anybody's guess—and hands it over.

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"You want to do the honors, Eights, or shall I?" Timer inquires.

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"Mmm, gimme," she says, and takes the knife and gets out of bed and cuts her throat. Carpets are easier to clean than mattresses, and blood lingers after a—

Very real-looking flames spring up, consuming her body while leaving everything else untouched. The knife drops to the floor. She coaelsces again in exactly the same spot, exactly the same pose, but intact and spotless.

"Torch," she says, with a ta-daa sort of gesture.
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"Well," says the Joker. "I bounce back pretty fast, too, remember?"

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"I do remember, babe, but now you know what it should look like if you wanna fool somebody," shrugs Timer.

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"Should I wanna fool him?"

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"...How fast do you bounce back, exactly?" inquires Eights. "Because if you're not dead but you're difficult to kill, he is so gonna take that as a challenge."

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"Oooooooooh."

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"Very fast," says Timer, "when he's not deliberately suppressing the regen. Very, very fast. I dunno what would happen if Chainsaw tried to cut his head off or something, though."

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"Well, now I wanna find out," he says brightly.

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"I have no idea what happens if you die in Downside, babe, but there's some chance that you and Nathan and the munchkin don't like the answer," Timer says. "I don't know of anybody else hereabouts with magic. Might be a reason."

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