"Criminal tendencies run in the family, I guess," Mike says darkly.
"Mike, be nice," pouts Jessica. "It was for abuse!"
"Doesn't that run in families too," Lauren says; it's not really a question. "Bella, I dunno if you're sleeping with him yet, but don't have his kids, right?"
"Bella's not sleeping with Hammond!" exclaims Mike stridently. This exclamation is not less annoying for being true.
"You're not, right?" Eric asks Bella. She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
"Grow manners," says Jessica. It's not clear to whom.
"Grow eyes," snorts Lauren. "Delaney wants to bang her worse than you do, Mike, and I read the paper too and now he's got millions of dollars."
"I do not - I haven't - you're -" sputters Mike.
Bella has no idea why these people still sit with her. All she did was plunk down next to Angela and Angela's new boyfriend Ben. She remains stoically silent.
[Cupcakes in particular should most likely be a one time thing,] Bella says. [If you have another equally clever idea I'd like to see it - otherwise I'll just sit through this until I'm done eating, I think.]
Yeah, that seems like an adequate plan. Absent objections from Bella, he is going to descend on her table with his Tupperware of Mystery (he brought an empty one today, just to cover for tricks like this) and fill it with assorted cookies on the way.
He's halfway across the room, but he hasn't materialized the cookies yet.
There are indeed lemon cookies in the mix, when he finally sits down, opens the container, and wordlessly sets it in the middle of the table. But because Alice is a fundamentally assorted person, lemon only makes up about 30% of the stock.
But the ploy isn't as effective now that the conversation is about Alice.
"You sent your own dad to jail?" challenges Mike.
"What're you gonna do with three million dollars?" asks Lauren.
"Are you seeing a shrink? You should. My aunt's a shrink," Jessica says.
"Why did you wait until now to make a fuss about it?" Eric wants to know.
He raises his eyebrows, looks around the table, shrugs, picks up a plain old chocolate chip, and takes a big bite.
Jessica just repeats her question louder. Eric backs off.
"I mean wow," Lauren rambles. "Three million dollars. I'd get, like, a boat."
Alice smiles brightly at Eric, and with some amusement at Lauren, and with some contempt at Mike, and takes his time finishing his cookie.
"Whatever, don't waste your time on that freak," Mike mutters.
Nope.
He doesn't show it, though.
He ignores Jessica like she isn't even there, cocks his head at Mike, and says, "Okay, no, I'm curious. How is the fact that I sent my dad to jail a bad thing?"
"He's your dad," Mike says. "I can't believe he even put up with you, if I acted like you mine would send me to military school, and then you turned around and trumped something up for the cops."
Bella coughs. Mike doesn't even look at her.
"Is this you trying to get my shirt off? 'Cause you could've just asked," he says. "I didn't trump up shit and I've got the scars to prove it. Ever broken a bone? You hear it before you feel it, didja know that? Snap," he says, smacking the edge of the table lightly for emphasis. "Then it hurts."
"Mike, shut up," Bella says.
"Sure I do," he says. "But none of those assholes ever put me in the hospital. Daddy, on the other hand, dragged me all the way downstairs to the fireplace just so he could beat me with the poker. So all in all I am pretty fucking glad I put him in jail."
"Mike, shut the hell up," snaps Bella. "Jesus."
"Don't tell me to shut up!" bristles Mike.
"You're telling an abuse victim he deserved it, you have officially thrown polite discourse out a fortieth-story window and watched it go splat -"
"Yeah, Mike," says Jessica unexpectedly. "Just - shush, okay? Go sit with Bill or somebody."
It cracks in half in his hand.
He didn't think he was that upset, but it turns out that he in fact was.
Bella splits her paper plate, dumps the cookies onto the clean bottom half to be devoured, picks up the Tupperware, and puts her hand on Alice's elbow and steers him away to another corner of the cafeteria. She bought lunch today; given that she's full enough, she can leave everything and Angela will probably get it for her if no one else does. "I do not know what is wrong with him," she murmurs. "Here." There's an empty couple of extra chairs, not associated with a table, in the corner. She sits him down.
"That guy is gonna grow up to hit his wife," Alice remarks as he sits. It's not a fully serious prediction, but it is a comment on what he has seen of Mike's personality.
"He has other characteristics, and his behavior at age seventeen isn't a life sentence, but I do worry you're right," Bella murmurs.
And just like that, he still hurts but he is no longer angry about it. Mike is not his problem, even if Mike apparently wants to be.
He would kind of like to be petted, but he isn't going to ask; it seems like the kind of thing Bella might not want to be doing in the corner of the lunchroom.
[Yeah, that wouldn't do anything to convince anyone that I'm not sleeping with you,] Bella says. [It annoys me generally to have people believe falsehoods about me that I didn't put there on purpose.]
[Okay,] he says agreeably. [Think I'll blow off the rest of the day and go hang out in my lair. Tell Finch I said hi?]