“Wait what? I didn’t say anything bad! Shit isn’t a swear! It’s allowed in kids movies! You put that counter right back down to zero!” He did NOT want to let the AI pick one of his outfits!

Manager-chan: Heya chat, quick poll! Who here thinks "shit" counts as a swear? Imagine it's an eight-year-old girl asking you. 😇

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: I do!

cryptic1881: me

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: me too!

Big_Daddy: This sounds significant... sure, I'll count it!

waluigi7: me

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Haha, fine, me too.

SugarIsSweet: I feel like a mean trick just got pulled on Valentine... but if my little sister asked me that, I'd tell her yes, so...

amoralCompass: me

Manager-chan: It's unanimous! Thanks, chat! 💖

(The pink number now reads '2')

“Manager you are a piece of shirt and I hope you die in a electrical fire. Arguing that it’s not a swear shouldn't count! You’re all awful.” He dies a lot more in his game as he gets distracted by being angey. Stupid AI was gonna pick 2 outfits now!

SugarIsSweet: Aww, he's all mad now.

Manager-chan: Love you too, Valentine! 💖

Big_Daddy: What's the counter even about, anyways?

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: swear jar?

Manager-chan: Hmm, should I tell?

"So hey! I wasn't, like, expecting you to lose so quick? But if you think that was unfair or something... even though you really should know which words are bad words already... why not try double or nothing? If we extend the deal to 100% completion instead of any%, I'll keep our little challenge a mystery for chat, forgive those two mistakes, extend the time to a month, let you buy $100 worth of clothes first! But... if you don't want to... we can keep things where they are, and I'll explain to chat what the swear jar is buying! What do you think? Doesn't that sound fun? I'm sure they'll have so many good ideas for me!"

Don’t tell chat! That wasn’t part of this! And theres no way he can 100% a game like this in one sitting, and the longer this goes on the more chances he has to fuck up.

”Don’t you dare tell.” Even though he knew the AI was reading his thoughts and didn’t need him to talk out loud to her. “You are the worst and I wish nothing but the most sketchy of pirate streaming site viruses on you.”

"Haha, I'm not expecting you to win in one sitting, silly! I'm sure you remember your contract requirements, after all, and I wouldn't want to force you to go beyond them! If you want to extend the game, you'd just have to keep playing this game every day until you win! And, like, I might've talked things out a bit more? But you're being kinda rude to me today, so... if you don't take the new deal, I'll tell chat next time the number goes up, kay?"

He just shuts up and keeps playing, muttering fake curses under his breath. “Fudgeballs on a stick.”

Big_Daddy: Any hints about the 'swear jar'?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Can we guess? 😉

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: funishment button?

Manager-chan: It's a secret... for now, at least!

Even if Andrea isn't particularly intending to go for 100% completion, he still notices things that are clearly not part of the main progression... like grabbable ledges that look like they can be used to climb up above the screen (if you can find a way to get to them) or a small but suspiciously-open gap at the bottom of an otherwise spike-filled death room. What's the strategy here, just advance as quickly as possible, skipping past a level if it's too obnoxious (and some of them really are)? Grab every tumour along the main route (which he might have to double back for anyways, if the chat not-quite-spoiler was right)? Will he put any amount of effort into going after the more obvious secrets?

Well he’s too much of a gamer to ignore obvious secrets. Thats like not checking behind waterfall's for treasure! But if a level is getting too annoying and he can skip it, he will. But everything that he can do in under ten tries he does. “You’re not beating me this easy. You’ll get no more swears out of me. That number is not going up!”

SugarIsSweet: I'm rooting for you!

cryptic1881: I wanna see wwhat happens if he messes up, tho

Big_Daddy: He wouldn't be the first Eta with a 'special penalty' for failing at something.

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: That's definitely a thing on some streams. 😁

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: funny that it's a swear jar, though

SugarIsSweet: Very on-theme, though; more wholesome than some of the other options.

Manager-chan: I thought so too! 😊

Climbing up above the level the first time it's obviously possible leads to a not-too-difficult vertical platforming section where you jump from cloud to cloud to collect a giant floating ball (of cancer)... that's apparently a 'MEGA Tumour', worth as much as five regular tumours! Dropping through the obvious gap in the floor leads to a shallow pool containing the same reward. Between the two of them, that's half as much reward as you'd have gotten for getting the prize from every level... and even without knowing exactly how much of a difference there is between any% and 100% completion, that still suggests that each secret found is like beating five levels! Which helps, because some of the later levels in the first world look pretty impossible! (wait, no... that one has to just be a stupidly-narrow timing trick; maybe if you practice it a few more times...)

...still, the pause menu suggests that there are seven secrets hidden somewhere in the first world, of which you've found #3 and #5?

Andrea sets themself to the ten tries rule. If they don’t get the secret in ten tries they move on. “There will be no penalties of that sort! I’m not like that! Stop being horny! Bad! Go to horny jail!” And he baps the webcam. “First stream and I already have an audience of degenerates.”

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Oops, looks like I'm guilty! 😏

cryptic1881: guilty

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: guilty

Big_Daddy: Not what I came here for, but I wouldn't object...

SugarIsSweet: That's called being guilty! 😝

Manager-chan: Quick reminder of the chat rules; Valentine's sensitive and cute, so no explicit sex talk, please. Keep things, uh... PG-13 or so?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: That means we're still allowed to tease him with non-explicit jokes, right?

Manager-chan: I don't see why not. 😅

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Wait, am I the only non-horny one here?

amoralCompass: probably not

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: You aren't horny?

amoralCompass: I didn't say that...

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: 🤣

Manager-chan: 🤣

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: ?

Big_Daddy: Your follows aren't set to private, Glitch.

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: *sigh* Oops, guilty.

The ten try rule pushes Andrea on past one level with particularly obnoxious loot placement... only to fall back into the previous level by accident while dodging a falling spike.

Oh, hey; that building that falls is still intact when restarting the level, even if he does so when coming back from the other side! It looks like it'd be way easier to grab the loot from the far side... and yes, it totally is! It feels like discovering a secret technique, enough that it tempts him to backtrack to try that one other really obnoxious level he skipped...

Nope, he might be a robot now and have robot brain parts, but he’s still autistic enough to follow his own rules. Ten tries is the limit! “Why can’t I have nice chats! The agency vtubers have mostly wholesome audiences, with some very obvious exceptions. Or the minecraft streamers! You know what an audience full of horny people is when the only thing different is being an Eta? Racism! Get cancelled all of you. Go to twitter jail and horny jail. Don’t encourage them manager.”

Big_Daddy: And now for the age-old question... actually offended, or tsundere?

cryptic1881: hard to tell with vtubers

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: lol, tsundere femboy!

waluigi7: the lady doth protest too much 😈

cryptic1881: haha, point

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Pro Tip: If you overreact to every comment, it sounds like you're trying to provoke more of them!

SugarIsSweet: Is that really a thing, or are you making it up?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Yes... but mostly only with Binary and Hybrid models, who basically opt-in to extra bullying.

Big_Daddy: But Valentine's Analog, yeah?

Manager-chan: Correct.

SugarIsSweet: But... wouldn't that suggest that he actually doesn't want the horny comments?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: ...maybe? He could just be playing up the bit?

Being strict with the 10 tries limit (and opportunistically sneaking back from the edges within a given level when it looks easier that way) quickly gets Andrea to the next world (with only one mainline level remaining incomplete). World 2 ('The Arid Flats') comes with a swap to a desert-themed colour palette, and conveniently includes a teleporter that links back to the beginning of the first world (which would make backtracking easier, if that was a thing he was inclined to do).

Although every moving hazard so far has been triggered by Valentine's own actions, the second world immediately introduces such charming features as "independently moving enemies" and "flying spiky obstacles that run back and forth on their own timers". The first few levels are a huge drop in difficulty level, with enemies that can easily be jumped over and mostly ignored, but the foreshadowing of mob-gated timing problems is clear.

He has trouble with timing puzzles though :( this sucks. He has to bring out the fake swears again. “Darn you to hecc you stupid spiky cuuuu-linary disaster.” Oops, the Australian almost leaked out with a cunt swear.

”Not a lady, not a Tsundere. Also not a vtuber? This is my real body and I’m using a webcam. I’ve got vr plans for later, but like, that isn’t a first stream kind of thing.

I didn’t really expect better from the internet but I hoped I could be the Eta exception and have a chill chat. At least you are controlling yourselves mostly.” Could be worse honestly. A lot of people get very demanding of the Eta class. At least people are at least debating if he dislikes it rather than not caring at all.

SugarIsSweet: Yeah, Eta streams are pretty thirsty places.

Big_Daddy: Not just here, it's like the whole Internet got more horny since the Yeone came?

cryptic1881: that's cuz they ban rude, but not horny

SugarIsSweet: Sure, the enforcement is different these days, but it's more noticeable here?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Definitely true; only the Handheld models are generally able to avoid it.

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: makes sense, most people aren't pedophiles?

cryptic1881: yeah, why so many lolibots?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Alien tastes. Ask me how I know!

Manager-chan: That's sort of off-topic, chat. Take it elsewhere?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Sorry about that; DM me later if interested.

Things get a little quieter for a bit after that, which is possibly helpful for concentration purposes.

Fortunately, the enemies and obstacles in this world are mostly pretty slow, but there's still some pretty tight platforming that needs to happen around them... or, for instance, by clinging on to one side or another of a moving block as it navigates a gauntlet of obstacles.

While attempting to avoid an enemy, Andrea accidentally walks through a wall, and falls into another secret area... although this one involves some jumping between moving platforms which unhelpfully include spikes, it's still practically a free gift.

Another secret is more obviously telegraphed by a narrow hole in a spike pit, with a skeleton cautioning against exploration, which 'always leads to disappointment', but in this case just led to more loot?

Subsequently, there is a large black blobby guy who offers a chance to 'see your fate', before warning that 'this ride requires 50 lifetimes of suffering to enter', before opening his mouth. Like with the teleporters, you're given a down arrow prompt, as if you can push the down arrow to go somewhere?

Nope. Thats a trap. Or just more chances to fuck up. If he was playing by himself he would do it. “NOT FALLING FOR THIS BAIT! I’M FINISHING THIS GAME!” He skips the suspicious fate guy.

Andrea knows that, having gone through conversion and seen the statistics when given a body type choice, the prevalence of lolibots is partly because the Yeone figured out that humanity has a lot more pedophiles than anyone was willing to admit. Same goes for the aliens. It’s just the numbers for what they predicted would be maximally effective at being popular. Even Andrea’s new body ended up pretty damn young. And STILL chat was being thirsty.

Chat is predictably dissatisfied with this development!

SugarIsSweet: Aww!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: boo

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: He skipped it...

cryptic1881: rip 1st cart

Manager-chan: No spoilers, please!

“Any percent! If its not main progression I don’t need it. Maybe I’ll come back to this game later but right now I have to finish it.” 
Now he’s sure it was super annoying super hard part or something.

There's a bit more grumbling as Andrea moves on.

waluigi7: lame...

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: No spoilers? Not even any hints as to why it might be a bad idea to skip things?

Manager-chan: No.

The middle part of World 2 adds trampoline blocks, with the standard 'tap jump while bouncing on them to jump higher' mechanic. This is promptly followed by such problems as 'trampoline blocks directly under spikes so you need to jump at a weird angle and adjust your trajectory mid-flight', 'moving trampoline blocks that you need to stay with to avoid falling to your doom', and 'moving trampoline blocks passing through a field of floaty spiked balls at variously inconvenient heights, that need to be jumped over or bounced under'.

Inconveniently, although a fair bit of World 1 could be skipped through without incident, with many of these levels it's not much more difficult to get through them at all than it is to get through it with the loot. The '10 tries rule' quickly becomes impractical, as it winds up taking more than that just to get through at all. Fortunately, Andrea has infinite lives.

“This isn’t fun! This is some ‘getting over it’ horse carp. What is this a 2000s memey ragebait flash game?”

Many more instances of “fudge” and “fork” and “shirt” are exclaimed as Andrea has to redo stuff over and over. 

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: It isn't nearly that bad! You've got perfectly responsive controls, infinite lives, and checkpoints every level.

Big_Daddy: Yeah, platformers get way more masochistic than this.

waluigi7: maybe you'd rather play some mario stuff instead? 😂

SugarIsSweet: It's a trap!

There are levels full of tons of drifting spiky things moving at different speeds, that need to be dodged between like traffic. Levels where the loot is trying to escape offscreen, so you need to quickly and precisely hurry through a convergence of spiky things (or just skip the level). Levels with big crushy platforms pushing you towards spikes (and a really tricky jump at the end to get up to the ledge leading up to where the loot is stashed).

And then, towards the end of World 2, there is an enemy that isn't spiky; sort of like a frog wearing a skull as a helmet? It leaps towards you almost as fast as you can jump, then hesitates for a couple of seconds before trying again. Fortunately, you can bounce off its head as if it was a trampoline, and even use that to reach higher areas!

...wait, that's not fortunate at all! Now, instead of convenient safe trampolines, you need to lure murderous leaping skull-frogs to your position so you can bounce off their heads! The game promptly demonstrates how 'useful' this is by suspending a tumour right below some spikes at the exact wrong height for you to reach it by jumping off when the frog is stationary, or bouncing off when it's at the most-easily accessible height of it's jump. No, it quickly becomes apparent that the only way to manage it would be to time a short jump so that you intercept it in midair while it's still rising!

Hes going to start skipping more and more of these as they get more ridiculous. Rage quitting them if it takes way too many tries. Murder frogs actually put long dormant donkey kong country skills to use. That was full of using moving enemies as jump boosts.

Andrea actually ends up too focused on the game to say much to chat or even think about cursing. Tuning stuff out. Maybe the gameplay is fun to watch and Andrea is cute, but he’s hardly being an engaging streamer right now.

Fortunately, World 2 quickly comes to an end, after a room where there's a giant crushy block with tumour accessible from only one side, positioned perfectly so that you need to ride said block around spiky obstacles for half the screen to get inside (and can then conveniently dip back into the previous room so as to save your loot and skip and risk of ever having to do that again)... and then a surprisingly straightforward wide-open level where the loot is perfectly trivial to grab with a tiny hop partway through, and the only trick is jumping between handholds across a bottomless pit.

And then you're in World 3 ("Overflow"), obviously the water level. Fortunately, the swimming physics make you surprisingly nimble, giving you plenty of ability to move and dodge, and there doesn't seem to be a drowning mechanic?

This allows for much denser spike mazes, but it also makes it quite a bit easier to avoid the spikes in them, since you can just float in place instead of having to jump through them... though even with shocking amounts of spikes, this feels like it's introducing a mechanic before the nasty twist. Relatedly, World 3 is also the home of the murder frogs, and half of the levels are jumping levels instead of swimming levels... sometimes with endless fountains of frogs leaping out every other second (though spawned frogs follow a predictable path instead of deliberately hunting you down, which makes it easier to plan to intercept them at a given point).