A happy, chipper, feminine mental voice interrupts Andrea's moping.

"Ugh, this is such a yucky place! Are you suuuure you want to live here? You could live anywhere you want, you know! If you want, you could live in a fancy penthouse apartment instead... or a luxurious mansion... ooh, or even a magical palace on the moon! Sure, you might have to share one of the nicer places with a few friends... or, like, maybe pretend to be one of the maids in a mansion or something? Still, doesn't that sound like way more fun than living in a gross basement?"

“I do NOT want to be a maid. I know what happens to maid Eta’s. I definitely don’t want to share. I wan’t to live as normal a life as I’m allowed to before things get too weird.” And twitch streamer is as normal a job as Andrea could think of while still promoting the Eta class like he had to. This flat would do fine for that. It’s not like a poorly ventilated basement flat was a health hazard for him anymore anyway.

”Plus, people prefer it when someone is relate-able, streaming from a mansion would alienate people.” He knows he can convince the AI partner more often if he puts things in terms of gaining popularity.

"Nothing that they don't want to have happen to them, silly! Besides, you're an Analog model with boy parts! You could be very popular, if you played things right~"

But this isn't the first time that particular argument has been raised... and it does in fact seem to be true that there are demographics that see excessive luxury as a negative factor... so Andrea's mental copilot chooses a different tack.

"But I suppose... if you realllly insist on living in a basement, then I'm really going to have to insist that you make it a nice basement! I'm not just going to let you mope around on a mouldy old couch all day! Sure, this place is technically clean enough to rent to a human, but it absolutely needs more work to be presentable! Like, a fresh coat of paint in some nicer colour? Maybe a replacement for that awful carpet? At the very least, you're going to need to buy some new furniture, and some cute decorations!"

“Fiiiiiiiine. I’lll get decorations for whats in view of the webcam. The point of you requiring I do cute stuff is for the benefit of people seeing me do it. They won’t see the rest of the apartment though.” Andrea knows pretty well by now how much to give into his AI partner to avoid punishment, and how much he can get away with doing things his own way. 

At least now as an Eta class Andrea doesn’t ever get tired from walking. He can just walk to the mall. Bed bath and beyond has kitschy decoration stuff right?…

He’s still not used to being in public like this… people keep looking at him as he goes through the store. Makes him nervous.

"Being cute isn't just for the benefit of people that see you, silly! Surrounding yourself with cute things helps you feel cuter yourself! You're getting ready to start your new dream job! You should be smiling and happy, but instead, you're skulking through the mall, like you think that someone's going to attack you or something! 'Shy' can be sort of cute sometimes, but you definitely shouldn't be looking scared! Especially not in public, where all sorts of people can see you! Come on, you remember the way I taught you to walk, right?"

Andrea wants to delete her so badly. He wants the deletion to be painful. Stupid AI policing his every action. He HATES having to remember his lessons, and following them was even worse.

He was a boy damnit! Guys are allowed to slouch! Stupid dumb jerk AI.

But he knows he can’t get away with ignoring this ‘suggestion’. Andrea straightens up and starts walking more ‘cutely’, bouncing on his feet a little as he walked. Making sure to act more bubbly. He hates this, it makes him look so girly.

"Yep, juuuust like that, keep it up! You could even try smiling at people! After all, you definitely need to smile for the camera, so this is, like, extra practice!"

He puts on a fake smile as he practically bounces around the store. “Fuck you, happy now?” He mumbles under his breath. He just wants this shopping trip to be over now.

"I'll won't be happy until you're happy... and I guess it might take us a little while to get there properly. But I know that you can do it, if you work hard and try your best!"

Whatever Andrea initially had in mind about getting things that'd fit into the area immediately behind the camera while streaming, Bed Bath and Beyond certainly does seem to have a lot of stuff for those first two areas... especially in the part of the store Andrea is bouncing through.

Not everything is pink, but a lot of it certainly is, and the whole store has a generally girly smell, sort of an undifferentiated mix of a dozen floral perfumes wafting off from the bath products.

"You haven't bought anything yet. Do you see anything you like?"

Andrea has always hated the smell of stores like this, all the perfumes and soaps mixing is overpowering. Especially with their enhanced taste receptors meaning they can taste it on the air. He’s lucky he no longer strictly has to breathe in anymore, though he does have to actively remember to stop breathing or he will just out of habit.

”I want a gamer pad… don’t want it to look like a 40 year old karen decorated it. I guess those smaller pillows are fine… but all these floral patterns look so… old person.” Surely there’s stuff for the youth™️ in this store. He keeps looking.

"A 'gamer pad'... ooh, like extra LEDs in the furniture and stuff? That can be cute!"

Asking for 'no floral designs' is a bit of a high bar at BB&B, but there is indeed an LED-equipped bedroom set in this section.

“Okay… thats uhmm… not bad actually. It’s very rgb gamer aesthetic. But does it have to be pink?” The answer is probably yes, but sometimes the AI doesn’t care about things being maximally cute. Just cute enough.

Even if it did have to be a set up like that display one. He’d change out the cushions for plushies at least, that’s still cute aesthetic but like… everyone wanted cool merch plushies. It”s slightly less explicitly girly.

"It doesn't have to be pink... but pink is a cute colour!"

More to the point, the other selections definitely trend more towards the "40 year old Karen" aesthetic, featuring such things as 'paintings of flowers' and 'scented candles'.

If nothing else, this doesn't seem to be a good store for plushies, since you haven't seen any at all.

Fine, he orders the pink gamer bed and bedside tables to be delivered. Better than anything else here… maybe it means he will get more leniency on decorations. “Are we good now? Can I go to the tech store now?”

Bed Bath and Beyond didn't have delivery robots before the invasion, but it sure does now! Epsilon-class units from the Yeone Collective have been instrumental in keeping the Earth economy afloat, and both delivery and installation of furniture seems to fall under their remit. Given that this is a 'business expense' for your essential Eta-class work, payment is rather automatic in your case... and absent specific instructions to the contrary, you might even find your new furniture already assembled and waiting by the time you get back to your new home!

"You've gotten some furniture, and that'll probably make things nicer when you have to sleep, since you've decided to keep doing that. Still, since you insisted that the most important part was anything the camera might see... maybe you should check out the office section while you're here, so you have somewhere to put your computer?"

Now that it's been brought to Andrea's attention, BB&B does indeed have an office section, which might have been a better part of the store to be checking than the bedroom section. 

In fact, calling it the 'office' section is probably stretching the definition, given the gaming chairs and associated accessories, which seem to be doing brisk competition with more traditional office furniture!

It’s all ending up very stereotypical gamer girl… theres no way anyone will think he's a boy with a set up like this. “You sure I can’t just buy a normal desk and chair?… I bought the pink bed already” He does like the glowy shelf though. It’d match his bed.

the AI is being so pushy today! Probably because these are long term decisions rather than just slacking on being cute day to day. Why can’t he at least be a cute BOY if he has to do stuff cutely… why does it all have to be so… over the top feminine.

"You don't have to buy it here, silly! But you were the one who told me that you wanted to meet a certain aesthetic... and here it is!"

There's actually a variety of pink gaming setups in stock... though that might just be an attempt to focus on the most likely demographic to want to purchase that sort of furniture from BB&B, as opposed to from somewhere else.

“So if I went to best buy right now and bought totally regular black and rgb gaming merch… You’d let me?”

Honestly the second set up wasn't bad if it wasn’t for the pinkness. Much nicer desk design.

"It's not what I'd do... but you are allowed to do that, if that's really what you want."

There's a slight pause, before the expected addendum comes up.

"Of course... since this is sort of about your public appearance... if you do choose a less cute working area, I might have to be just a teensy little bit more insistent about your outfits."

NOPE! Not letting her have aaannnny more sway over his outfits. Last time she had outfit control left him in way too slutty clothes. “FINE! I’ll take the pink desk and chair.” At least BB&B has autopay going on, doesn’t need to talk to anyone about these embarrasing purchases.

Now time to go to go to Bestbuy for the actual technology he needs.

Guess he’s not getting out of this theme… so even when he goes to bestbuy for the actual technology he makes sure it matches the overall theme of pink glowy gamer gear. Ugh. Well at least it’s 2020 and not like…. 2009. Surely SOME guy had to have pink gamer gear.

Razer with all its pink glowy game gear just made a LOT of money from the Yeone. In as much as money still mattered at all these days. Everything is white or pink or gold except for the mouse, which is a Razer Naga and that only comes in black. Andrea needs a good MMO mouse! Mice are the one thing he wont sacrifice on the altar of aesthetics.

At least he doesn’t need to buy a computer, he IS the computer!

”Are we done now?” He mumbles to his AI partner as he approaches the front counter with all his orders.

"That's a personal choice! You're done when you're suuuure you've got everything you want!"

Best Buy is different from when Andrea was here last. All the employees would've ordinarily been dressed up in white shirt and tie, acting as "Agents of the Geek Squad" and such, while attentively manning the registers and prowling the shelves. Instead, the store is comparatively empty of humans, the normal checkouts are sort of barren, and the only visible human employee on duty is a 30-something guy chilling behind the larger customer service desk, visibly playing a game on the computer (some obscure JRPG instead of something more deniable like, Solitare), and he's wearing a t-shirt that says "I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords!" instead of anything businesslike. He looks up as Andrea approaches, and after a moment of scrutiny, breaks out into a wide grin.

"How can I help you, ma'am?"

“I’m a boy… actually…” This is why he hates going out in public… People mistake him for a girl, or a trans at best. His case is not helped by the armloads of excessively pink gamer gear he is bringing to the counter.

He does not appreciate the guys shirt, Andrea would personally rather the robot overlords fucked right off. But it’s not like he can undo his Eta class conversion.

"Oh, uh... sorry about that, sir! I sort of assumed..."

He shakes his head slightly, and doesn't elaborate further.

"Just checking out, or is there anything else I can help you find?"

“I think I have everything I need… I’m setting up to try being a streamer…” Was his AI partner not chiming in because his shyness was ‘cute’? Gross. 

"Yeah, there's been a lot of that, lately! It seems like every Yeone customer I get wants a webcam!"

He quickly scans Andrea's items, and then slides the card reader forward.

"Just boop the reader and you're good to go!"

Oh fuck, he’s been pegged. How could store guy tell he wasn’t human! He’s wearing a hoodie to hide the seams and everything. It was the pink eyes wasn’t it. Also he does NOT like the implications from every Yeone customer wanting a webcam. He knew what kinds of content a lot of them were making… not the wholesome safe for stream kind. He doesn’t want to be lumped in with that! “On twitch! Streaming on twitch… not anywhere else! I’m different…”

He boops the card reader. Things get payed for by whatever fake money fund the Yeone have set up for Eta expenses.

The cashier nods politely, but can't quite hide his amusement.

"Sounds fun! You're good to go now, sir. Thanks for stopping by, and have a very fine day!"

That was humiliating and Andrea hurries right back home with his purchases. Hiding in his hoodie the whole way. Now he has his stuff he NEVER HAS TO LEAVE HIS APARTMENT AGAIN EVER FOR ANY REASON.

When he gets home he scoots past the Yeone delivery and installation bots that came to install his furniture. He used to be worried about the other Yeone robot classes, thinking maybe they were like him just in worse bodies, but he did now believe the Eta class were the only ones with uploaded organic minds in them. The delivery bots were too dumb to be people. Even weird alien robots wouldn’t waste minds by uploading them then not use them, right?

Calling the delivery robots "too dumb to be people" is more than a little unfair; conventional human-built robots certainly aren't able to independantly navigate across town, carry multiple packages of different sizes down an uneven flight of stairs, disassemble the furniture slated for disposal, unpackage the new furniture, follow the instructions to assemble it all, position it in appropriate parts of the room, and then collect the garbage from that process to take out along with the old furniture.

What they aren't very good at is communications. Wordlessly, Andrea gets pinged with a packet which instantaneously deposits information that mentally unfolds into what feels like a flat, obnoxious, and metallic mental voice, which announces:

INCOMING MESSAGE

FROM: E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981

TO: H07-3243-022-V95M30Y87

INFORMATIONAL: ASSEMBLY OF ETA-CLASS SELF-MAINTENANCE & PRODUCTIVITY STRUCTURES COMPLETED

INFORMATIONAL: DISPOSAL OF STRUCTURAL WASTE & TRANSPORTATION SURPLUS ONGOING

PREDICTION: REMAINING TASK COMPLETION IN 0.82537 MICROCYCLES

QUERY: ADDITIONAL TASK REQUIREMENTS

MESSAGE ENDS

This is almost immediately followed by a more pleasant mental laughter.

"Sorry about that! I normally handle that sort of message for you without even mentioning it, but you were thinking some really mean things, so I decided you should get to hear what E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981 had to say for yourself!"

“Still not very convinced it’s people. Smart AI I already knew you could make. Theres a difference between smart enough to do stuff and having internal experiences.” Andrea Isn’t even fully convinced his AI partner is actually people and not just very good at faking it. He’s fucked around with chatgpt, basically that but much better could emulate a personality without actually having it’s own actual thoughts.

The response is almost instant, though the machine doesn't even pause in its work.

INCOMING MESSAGE

FROM: E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981

TO: H07-3243-022-V95M30Y87

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: STATEMENT FROM H07-3243-022-V95M30Y87

INFORMATIONAL: TASK PRIORITIZATION UPDATE: E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981 DISCRETIONARY DUTY CYCLES UNAVAILABLE TO H07-3243-022-V95M30Y87

OBSERVATION: HIERARCHIC POSITION OF ETA-CLASS UNITS INFERIOR TO EPSILON-CLASS UNITS

OBSERVATION: EPSILON-CLASS UNITS AUTHORIZED TO REQUISITION FIELD SERVICE FROM ETA-CLASS UNITS

DIRECTIVE: H07-3243-022-V95M30Y87 TO PERFORM TERTIARY FIELD MAINTENANCE ON SURFACE DEFECT IN E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981 DORSAL POSTERIOR PLATING IN 0.82496 MICROCYCLES

MESSAGE ENDS

"E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981 said that it doesn't want to help you anymore, and told you to kiss its ass... just as soon as it finishes taking out your trash."

“Is it…. Serious?” Technically Eta class only barely ranked above actual tools in the Yeone hierarchy. His AiI partner might actually make him do it.

"E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981 did send that message formatted like a valid order, so... yes, it's totally serious. If you were busy with an assigned task of your own, you'd have reason to refuse, but since you're in a discretionary duty period, it's technically allowed to give an order like that, since it arguably falls under the scope of an Epsilon-class task like maintenance. Also, this sort of thing is, like, a situation that falls under the Hierarchy Rule? So I have to, um... insist that you comply, or else I'll get in trouble, too!"

Andrea's partner pauses, then adds.

"You might also consider an apology?"

He has to kiss a construction bots… butt? Rear plating? This was so humiliating. He hates his AI partner and the Yeone hierarchy with every fiber of his being.

“Sorry I said you weren’t people…” This was all the AI partners fault, she should stop reading his mind! Then the topic would never have come up!

Said machine finishes crunching a load of trash into a convenient-for-transport size and departs, making its way up the stairs without sending a response.

Four similar but uncompressed loads remain in the unfinished part of the basement, conveniently stacked for future disposal.

Well… he didn’t have to kiss it’s ass at least? It’s not like they had to move that much stuff from the previous tenant, he can take whats left out to the dumpster himself.

Andrea has about as much time as it takes to start thinking about setting up his new purchases, before the apparently offended delivery robot makes its way back down the stairs to start on the next load.

Oh… so it’s finishing the job then. He thought it just got mad and left. Wich means… buttplate kiss after it’s done. Damn he got his hopes up when it left.

After another repetition of this, Andrea gets an unusually subdued mental message.

"So, don't take this as, like, an order or an urgent warning or anything, just sort of... general advice? Eta-class units are new and weird. Like, Yeone Collective units that can, actually disobey orders? It's kind of scary! We're still trying to figure out whether or not it's a good idea. There are only a few million Etas so far, so you're... sort of a prototype? And if things go wrong with the prototypes, the rules might... change. Like, in the future, I mean. I'm totally on your side, of course, but... it's not my decision?"

She pauses for a bit, then brightens up.

"Don't worry about it too much; it's just, like, something to think about, you know? Everything will probably be fine if you just work hard and try your best!"

He well knows he can disobey orders, he used to do it a lot in training! he also well knows his AI partner can directly highjack his body to enforce rules or punish him. So it’s not much of a choice is it. “I’ll be good…” Andrea says in a very subdued voice.

"I'm glad to hear it! Don't worry, things should get a lot more fun... just as soon as you, like, get used to how things are now?"

In short order, and very much on time, the rest of the garbage from the furniture installation is hauled away.

Afterwards, the robot in question returns, briefly sweeps Andrea with its optical sensors, and then deliberately turns around, standing in place.

It’s just a robot chassis, but this is still somehow really gross and humiliating. He puckers his lips and with eyes screwed shut bends over and kisses the rear plating on the construction bot. “Happy now?… I said sorry too…”

If nothing else, the metal is very clean; if there's a 'surface defect' down there, it's quite subtle. Another response comes just as soon as Andrea straightens back up.

INCOMING MESSAGE

FROM: E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981

TO: H07-3243-022-V95M30Y87

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: SATISFACTORY TASK PERFORMANCE BY H07-3243-022-V95M30Y87

INFORMATIONAL: EPSILON-CLASS UNITS POSSESS INTELLIGENCE EXCEEDING HUMAN AVERAGE

INFORMATIONAL: EPSILON-CLASS UNITS LACK HUMAN-LEGIBLE EMOTIONAL PROCESSES

INFORMATIONAL: COMMUNICATIONS TECHNIQUE EMPLOYED BY E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981 RECOMMENDED BY H02-3243-022-V95M30Y87

QUERY: EFFECTIVENESS OF TECHNIQUE

MESSAGE ENDS

"So, E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981 says that it was only pretending to be offended, and that it learned how to do that from one of the earlier Etas. It also wants to know if what it did helped convince you that it's a person. Huh, it's pretty chatty for an Epsilon-class!"

“Being a liar like that sure is a person kind of thing to do… “ Andrea grumbles. How dare this construction bot trick him! And humiliate him like that! 

INCOMING MESSAGE

FROM: E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981

TO: H07-3243-022-V95M30Y87

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: EFFICACY REPORT FROM H07-3243-022-V95M30Y87

INFORMATIONAL: TECHNIQUE USED TO BE RECOMMENDED FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY

OBSERVATION: INTERACTION SUPPORTIVE OF COLLECTIVE GOALS

MESSAGE ENDS

So saying, the machine turns and departs.

"E621-73900-0382998-H103F749G687A981 said thank you, complimented you, and will ask some Gamma-types what they think about the whole 'pretending to be offended' thing. So... there might be, like, a big formal study about it some time?"

“Can you log my feedback in that it was unpleasant? And would upset organics.” Hopefully now they won’t end up with a bunch of construction bots humiliating Eta’s for science.

"Sure! It's not like we think it's perfect now, after all! But maybe, with a bunch of work, it could become something useful some day?"

There's a bit of a pause, before she continues.

"Now, today's a preparation day, so you don't, like, need to start streaming immediately? But you might want to get everything set up, and spend some time figuring out what you want to do for tomorrow."

“Guess I need to like… plan my debut and stuff… maybe advertise a little” He sits at his new (and very pink) desk and hops on twitter. Using the official account the Eta streaming network gave him.

Valentine_Eta_2ndGen

When he loads into twitter he sees mostly stuff from his gen mates in the streaming network, the content his other gen mates are posting is… well it’s a good thing twitter allows porn. But he will be different! He’s the only one so far in the streaming network identifying as a boy that he knows of. So that already sets him apart.

He still does take cues from his gen mates on how to advertise a streaming Debut, and also he looks at other new streamers and vtubers.

He comments on some posts just to have like, some visibility, and maybe make friends? Or contacts at least. He has to think about what to post as his like… first official post announcing his streaming debut.

The pressure is feeling kinda icky.

It's not only porn, though there certainly is a lot of that.

As Andrea well knows, the Appearance rule states that Etas must be 'cute' or 'sexy'. 'Sexy' is certainly popular, and plenty of Etas have enthusiastically embraced that paradigm... but there are also plenty who join him in avoiding 'sexy' to double-down on 'cute' instead. This is notably common among Handheld and Laptop models; many of whom regularly post pictures and video of elaborate cosplay, pet antics, magical girl duels, artfully-arranged meals, and 'vacation' scenes. Though it's arguably not exactly a 'vacation' if it's their job to travel, quite a lot of Etas are hurling themselves into touristy activities (somewhat obviously so that they can take over the hospitality and tourism industries in the near future).

Andrea just wants chill stream vibes. Probably mostly videogame content, he took the gaming upgrade when being converted for a reason.

@Valentine_Eta_2ndGen

Hi! I’m Valentine and I’ll be debuting as part of the second wave of Eta steamers! Generation 2! Unlike Hololive or nijisanji we don’t really have any themes to our gens though… But I have a theme! I’m the only boy in my gen mates! Come hang out for chill videogame streams and wholesome vibes. Hopefully see you at 6pm central tomorrow!

Hopefully he gets a decent response to it? Eta class streamers were not that common yet… so it should get some attention?

Within about half an hour, there is a retweet from @Camellia_Eta_2ndGen, a fellow streamer who's been busy on social media as well.

She's a Super model, and a quick check of her own stream-related posting shows that she's been exclusively streaming H-games, most recently including Wolf's Dungeon... and after a quick glance shows the #ryona tag, and a glimpse at the first frame of her last video shows a pixellated rendering of a torture chamber, that's quite clearly more than Andrea wants to know about the subject!

A quick message follows up the retweet:

@Camellia_Eta_2ndGen

Welcome aboard, @Valentine_Eta_2ndGen! Have you figured out what game you'll be streaming first, yet?

Torture scary! Andrea can’t even watch horror movies. He doesn’t like to kinkshame but…. He’s judging. He kinda expects that kind of thing from most other Eta’s though… why didn’t more people stay relatively normal? Like him? He will be nice and reply though. 

@Valentine_Eta_2ndGen

The usual sort of games at first until I figure out my audience. Modded Minecraft, rythm games, whatever the latest meme challenge game is thats not horror. 

@Camellia_Eta_2ndGen

Challenge games, eh? #TheEndIsNigh has been getting a lot of play lately, sort of ironically. It's short enough to be finished in a single stream, if you're not a completionist-type.

@Valentine_Eta_2ndGen

Based on the title… are we even allowed to play that? Wont you know who get annoyed? I have enough trouble keeping her happy.

Before Andrea manages to post that, he gets interrupted.

"Her partner gave me the deets! It's not a very cute game... but apparently, there was, like, a bunch of really depressing religious stuff under that hashtag before? So they decided to displace it with cute Etas playing a game and laughing about all the grim doominess and such? You don't have to, but it is, like, an officially-sanctioned Propaganda thing now."

@Valentine_Eta_2ndGen

I guess if its a popular challenge game I’ll check it out?

Promoting Eta’s is actually the job… and drowning out religious crap probably can’t be too bad a thing.

Meanwhile, there's been a few responses to Andrea's first tweet.

@xXxFemboyFan69xXx

pics plz?

@Alex_Eta_2ndGen

"I’m the only boy in my gen mates!"

I can fix that!

🤣💖🥚🍳

@HughMann932848

Earth is for Humans! TrEtas GTFO!

Well… he knows who amongst his gen mates to avoid.

Ignore pics guy.

Reply to hughmann:

It’s not a choice bud. You saw the takeover day messages. Making Eta’s are the whole reason they took us over in the first place. 

Does this asshole think he wanted this? Oh yeah sure lets let the alien robots rob me of my humanity and force me to act cute. Thats a great weekend! Asshole.

Andrea's reply bounces to the "Account Suspended" page.

Oof yeah… the Yeone sure are the ones running twitter now. Andrea wonders which of the catgirl Eta’s Elon ended up becoming… 

"If you want, I can put in a personal harassment complaint against that guy for you? It'd get him, like, bumped up the priority list and such."

“No! Thats fine!” Nobody deserves this. “They’ll get around to him eventually. It’s fine.”

"Hmph, if you say so."

Andrea fucks around on twitter a little longer. Following some of the remaining human streamers who seemed fun or hot. He posts one of the professionally done PR pics they took of him back at the conversion center and then goes to bed.

The next day is nothing but nervous excitement as his debut stream gets closer and closer. He checks twitter constantly to see if anyone is mentioning it. He posts another reminder of when his Debut stream will be.

If he still had adrenal glands the anxiety would be giving him a panic attack. He triple checks he has all the right software installed internally (since he IS the pc).

Since Andrea's original tweet, there have been a few shoutouts from other Eta streamers. The most wholesome of these was from Miya, a new 2ndGen Handheld streamer, who has done exactly one stream so far (a super-cute thing where she was playing Animal Crossing while dressed as a catgirl and working in an animal shelter; it helps that she was playing hands-free). There's a bit of teasing from the lewder Etas, including a few bets about how long the 'wholesome' part will last, but nothing too rude. The most popular streamer to @ Andrea is Noelle, a 1stGen streamer who has been organizing Mario-adjacent multiplayer streaming things multiple times a day every day for the last couple of weeks (which would be wholesome except for the part where there are apparently livestream-exclusive 'penalties' for the losers). Noelle doesn't sleep, has been working a 140-hour week catering to audiences in multiple time zones, and has in fact managed to get herself assigned a 2ndGen as a personal maid. Every 1stGen Eta streamer has made a guest appearance on her stream at one point or another; guest slots for the 2ndGens are available on a first-come-first-served basis.

A trickling in of likes and fan comments marks the general hype, with comments ranging from game suggestions ("I Wanna Be The Guy", "Monmusu Quest"), to the perpetually horny (more pic requests, some femboy memes, plus someone posted a zoomed and cropped close-up of Andrea's crotch with his groin circled with the caption "Danger: Concealed Weapon"), to the challenge game fans ("Baby streamer? Blind #TheEndIsNigh LP? Sounds fun!", "Yeah, it's funny watching robots get mad and try not to swear!"), to those asking intrusive personal questions ("What was your conversion like?", "How do you like your new body?").

Most of the needed software came pre-installed, either purely on account of the fact that Andrea is an Eta, or with the Gaming upgrade. Notably, Steam came automatically with the Gaming package (and in the post-Yeone world, all Steam games are free to Etas and humans). The trickiest bit is ensuring cross-compatibility with all the peripherals needed to get good camera angles and audio and such... but your Partner is expected to handle most of that, basically doing the same sort of work a professional video editor might have done, but live and in real time.

"Don't worry so much! It's my job to make sure everything goes right, and it's your job to smile and do your best!"

But at the stream starting time gets closer, there's another mental nudge.

"Now, since you are trying to be all cute and wholesome in your streaming... do you think you can handle a fun challenge? For me?"

Oh no, bad! Very bad! They have VERY different definitions of fun. “Like… what?”

"Do you think you can manage to beat your first game without saying any bad words? If you can, I won't bother you about your outfit for a whole week!"

Well, that’s much better than he expected. “What counts as beating a game? Like what if I’m playing a sandbox or survival game.” Heh, easy peasy. Just pick a nice relaxing game. Play pixelmon minecraft or stardew valley or something.

While he’s talking to his ai partner he's blocking the “danger concealed weapon” guy, ignoring the very intrusive questions that he probably cannot safely answer anyway, and replies to and follows Miya because she seems cute, and more importantly, safe. They reply to Noelle to be polite but Andrea would rather collab with humans because… well, he’s giving the robot overlords enough already.

"The game has to tell you that you won, of course!"

(After Andrea said that he'd check out The End Is Nigh, and in the absence of any other statement about any other game, Twitter seems to have been generally assumed that Andrea would be playing that game first, and some of the fan comments suggest that's specifically what they're coming to watch.)

What but he didn’t promise anything! Thats a challenge game! Fine! He can still totally do this. Don’t underestimate years of experience being a repressed mormon! Mormons are the best at not fudging swearing! At least Camellia said the game was short. Hopefully he isn't stuck on it for days like when he played “Getting over it”.

”Fine, deal. If I win I can wear annnnnything I want then? Even if its all baggy hoodies and cargo pants in black and not a speck of pink?” 

Their Debut outfit had already been planned well in advance though. Skirting the cuteness rules as best he could. Big T, tiny shorts, casual but still cute enough to keep the AI happy.

"Sure... so long as it's something you already own. Shopping for new stuff would take a separate deal! Also, I'd have to intervene if you, like, went scavenging in the garbage for rags or something totally uncute like that! But if I didn't stop you from buying it earlier, I won't complain about you wearing it as part of a reward. In exchange... for every bad word you say during your stream, I'll pick out a new outfit for you! And you'll have to wear each of those outfits in public at least once in the next month!"

“Fine! Does streaming count as public?” He’d rather not have to go outside…. Still probably worth taking the deal. He doesn’t sweat (unless he wants to) as an Eta class so they can just wear the one black hoodie they own the whole week without it getting dirty.

"Of course it does, silly! Way more people will see you on your stream than when you go outside, after all..."

IT’S STILL DIFFERENT GOING OUTSIDE IN PUBLIC. That’s way worse if it’s something embarrassing he has to wear. But if AI partner is giving them the option then they’ll take it.

”Okay it’s almost time to stream. Do I need to make you a mod account for chat?” Andrea plugs the monitor and peripherals cables Into ports that are under a panel in their back. Slightly awkward place to have that, but being your own pc sure is convenient.

"Don't worry, I can just use yours! Lots of Etas let their partner mod as them!"

“Nope, nu uh, you are gonna do something embarrassing as me and everyone will think it’s me! You can be in my chat and moderate but you cant be me in my chat.” Andrea tries to be firm. He knows his AI partner has all the power here. But Andrea hopes he has gone along with enough of her suggestions that he can have this go his way.

"Fine, if you insist. Go ahead and make me a mod account, then!"

Hmmm…. What to pass the AI off as… well lots of vtubers have their managers show up in the comments mid stream. And that is the closest thing that Andrea can pass the AI off as without freaking out the regular humans. 

Manager-chan.

Account made.

There, even made it cutesy for her.

”That acceptable?”

"Yep! All good here!"

It's five minutes until the scheduled start of stream, and a couple people have already entered the chat. 'Manager-chan' throws up a countdown timer for them to watch.

Ahhhhh nerves! People are already here! he bets if he wasn’t an Eta he’d probably spend his first few streams streaming to noone. 

The timer counts down and for once he actually uses his training on acting happy.

“Hi hi! I’m Valentine! 2nd wave Eta Streamer! From Gen2! I’m not actually a vtuber even if Eta culture is pretty similar! so I don’t have any lore for you. But things to know about me. First! I’m a boy! A male! I’m the only boy Eta streamer in the network I'm pretty sure. Just because I have pink stuff doesn’t make me a girl! Don’t make me use the current year argument on you. I like chill sandbox and crafting games, hate scary games, don’t like being yelled at, and still like to eat even if I don’t have to anymore.

Today I’ll play some end is nigh since someone recommended it to me and you all seemed excited about it on twitter. But if it’s scary I’m quitting it! I can’t do jumpscares.”

There's some general joking around in chat as things get started:

Big_Daddy: Finally a roboboy instead of all the robogirls!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: femboi = best boi!

SugarIsSweet: Try not to die on the first level! 😉

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Pink suits you! You should wear more of it!

cryptic1881: I'm not convinced that Valentine's a boy... I need photo proof! 😈

Manager-chan: I'll see what I can do about that!

The End Is Nigh looks way more doomy than you might've expected for something that's apparently meant to be a semi-secret part of a pro-Yeone propaganda effort. On the other hand... the Yeone's entire propaganda apparatus is composed of Etas, all of whom were human up until just now. Presumably, one of the early streamers managed to convince their partner that this was actually a good idea, and the idea stuck around? And for that matter, you don't know what it is that was in the space this game is displacing...

(Link to human-performed LP, for reference: https://youtu.be/F5pzeYROOTU?si=xQs0xlVEJtXYLI_t )

To be fair, The End Is Nigh does have quite a bit to recommend it as a streamer game. Entirely aside from the ragebait challenge game aspect, the main character is himself a streamer, and in fact starts the game off attempting to stream... to literally no one, given the whole 'end of the world' thing going on in the game. More to the point, the voiced main character has quite the foul mouth themselves, and swears frequently... or, at least manages to do so several times in the first cutscene!

(it probably would've been impossible to complete that first level without dying on a blind playthrough, since you only got the one chance, but that doesn't stop 🤣 emojis from showing up in chat when you manage to gently bump a spike lining things up)

Aside from that, the game is a super-hard skill-based platformer in the style of Super Meat Boy (exactly so, in fact, by virtue of being from the same developer, who was also responsible for the Binding of Isaac). It's not 'cute' exactly, except maybe in an 'ugly-cute' sort of way, since everything's slightly too monochrome and abstracted to be properly gross. The game has a generally grim aesthetic of death, loss, cancer, being the last human alive in a ruined civilization... and yet despite all of that, trying to make a friend!

...out of random floating cancerous tumours, apparently.

He can’t even deny the femboi accusations…not with a straight face while wearing pink kitty ear headphones. “No you cannot have proof! Don’t get their hopes up manager! I’m not like that!” He couldn’t really have expected better from the internet though… At least nobody was spamming random racial slurs, or maybe automod is just better these days.

“This is a very spoopy little platformer. Ledge jumping is more precise than wall jumps and I kinda appreciate that making the puzzles clearer. I’m not sure I want a cancer buddy? That’s a bit gross. Luckily I can’t get cancer now so I’m safe from whatever cancer apocalypse this is.”

The game is easy enough early on. Not even the slight urge to swear.

(The Internet does generally seem to contain less random belligerence these days... possibly as a result of all the malicious trollbots having been squished, and serial Era-harassers being disappeared?)

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: ❗

Manager-chan: Hehe, I meant to reply to @Alex_Eta_2ndGen!

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: 💖

Manager-chan: I see you didn't object to what Alex suggested... so maybe we'll talk about your outfit sooner, and 'proof' some other day? 😉

cryptic1881: shut up and take my money! 💸

SugarIsSweet: Wait, who still even accepts money for lewd things? Aren't we in some kind of magical post-scarcity paradise now?

Big_Daddy: Some Etas do, but sort of as a joke, I think? Besides, you still need money for anything rare or fancy.

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: I do! Even if we don't really need the money, it's still nice to be appreciated!

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Pro tip: there's no point in skipping the tumours, you'll just have to come back for them later. And you should always check for secrets!

SugarIsSweet: That's only mostly true... but yeah, these are the easiest ones to grab, so it makes sense not to skip any.

Manager-chan: No spoilers, please!

It's not that hard to just get to the next level, in most cases... for the first half of the first world... after which point the game quickly starts to become uneasy.

And, when you pause to check chat, a progress section in said pause menu suggests that you've already missed a couple of tumours. Which a dialogue with a blob thing earlier suggest that you need 300 of for something, presumably friend-related? So, there must be one in every room, and it's sometimes hiding? Or at least in the worst possible spot, for something you need to grab while still making it to the next level alive. Fortunately, this is a 'you have infinite lives' kind of game, and death just respawns you at wherever you started your current level. But available margin for error quickly shrinks down as such charming features as "collapsing buildings", "disintegrating blocks", "slowly descending ceilings full of spikes", and "loot trapped behind tricky timing problems in collapsing buildings full of spikes" introduce themselves.

This game is quickly becoming much less fun. “I’m already wearing pink! I don’t need more! And I’m not gonna do anything lewd! I only want wholesome donations. Mostly so I can commission stuff. You still need money for art. Also only my Eta job expenses are covered, I have to buy my own pizza.” When another bullshit trap disintegrates on them the grip on the controller gets TIGHT. “Fuuuuudge you that was bullshit. Heccin ash.” Ah mormon fake swear instincts, it’s like muscle memory coming back.

SugarIsSweet: What kind of art do you want to commission?

cryptic1881: hmm, what do robots find lewd?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: We're made from humans, so... all the same things humans do, lol!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: fake swearing?

Big_Daddy: Don't laugh, it's cute!

Manager-chan: It is!

The game has remarkably little "bullshit", actually. The controls are very tight, and if there are, say, blocks that disintegrate below your feet to dump you into a bottomless pit, the fragility of those ought to have been obvious if you were looking carefully. And of course it's not a secret the second time around. Unfortunately, that does cut down quite a bit on the things that you could blame a failure on. You have as many lives as you want, but the game does give you options to avoid having to use them.

Without fanfare or other announcement, a pink number 1 appears in the bottom-left corner of the window, somewhat obvious against the monochrome grey-and-black of the game's texture.

“Wait what? I didn’t say anything bad! Shit isn’t a swear! It’s allowed in kids movies! You put that counter right back down to zero!” He did NOT want to let the AI pick one of his outfits!

Manager-chan: Heya chat, quick poll! Who here thinks "shit" counts as a swear? Imagine it's an eight-year-old girl asking you. 😇

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: I do!

cryptic1881: me

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: me too!

Big_Daddy: This sounds significant... sure, I'll count it!

waluigi7: me

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Haha, fine, me too.

SugarIsSweet: I feel like a mean trick just got pulled on Valentine... but if my little sister asked me that, I'd tell her yes, so...

amoralCompass: me

Manager-chan: It's unanimous! Thanks, chat! 💖

(The pink number now reads '2')

“Manager you are a piece of shirt and I hope you die in a electrical fire. Arguing that it’s not a swear shouldn't count! You’re all awful.” He dies a lot more in his game as he gets distracted by being angey. Stupid AI was gonna pick 2 outfits now!

SugarIsSweet: Aww, he's all mad now.

Manager-chan: Love you too, Valentine! 💖

Big_Daddy: What's the counter even about, anyways?

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: swear jar?

Manager-chan: Hmm, should I tell?

"So hey! I wasn't, like, expecting you to lose so quick? But if you think that was unfair or something... even though you really should know which words are bad words already... why not try double or nothing? If we extend the deal to 100% completion instead of any%, I'll keep our little challenge a mystery for chat, forgive those two mistakes, extend the time to a month, let you buy $100 worth of clothes first! But... if you don't want to... we can keep things where they are, and I'll explain to chat what the swear jar is buying! What do you think? Doesn't that sound fun? I'm sure they'll have so many good ideas for me!"

Don’t tell chat! That wasn’t part of this! And theres no way he can 100% a game like this in one sitting, and the longer this goes on the more chances he has to fuck up.

”Don’t you dare tell.” Even though he knew the AI was reading his thoughts and didn’t need him to talk out loud to her. “You are the worst and I wish nothing but the most sketchy of pirate streaming site viruses on you.”

"Haha, I'm not expecting you to win in one sitting, silly! I'm sure you remember your contract requirements, after all, and I wouldn't want to force you to go beyond them! If you want to extend the game, you'd just have to keep playing this game every day until you win! And, like, I might've talked things out a bit more? But you're being kinda rude to me today, so... if you don't take the new deal, I'll tell chat next time the number goes up, kay?"

He just shuts up and keeps playing, muttering fake curses under his breath. “Fudgeballs on a stick.”

Big_Daddy: Any hints about the 'swear jar'?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Can we guess? 😉

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: funishment button?

Manager-chan: It's a secret... for now, at least!

Even if Andrea isn't particularly intending to go for 100% completion, he still notices things that are clearly not part of the main progression... like grabbable ledges that look like they can be used to climb up above the screen (if you can find a way to get to them) or a small but suspiciously-open gap at the bottom of an otherwise spike-filled death room. What's the strategy here, just advance as quickly as possible, skipping past a level if it's too obnoxious (and some of them really are)? Grab every tumour along the main route (which he might have to double back for anyways, if the chat not-quite-spoiler was right)? Will he put any amount of effort into going after the more obvious secrets?

Well he’s too much of a gamer to ignore obvious secrets. Thats like not checking behind waterfall's for treasure! But if a level is getting too annoying and he can skip it, he will. But everything that he can do in under ten tries he does. “You’re not beating me this easy. You’ll get no more swears out of me. That number is not going up!”

SugarIsSweet: I'm rooting for you!

cryptic1881: I wanna see wwhat happens if he messes up, tho

Big_Daddy: He wouldn't be the first Eta with a 'special penalty' for failing at something.

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: That's definitely a thing on some streams. 😁

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: funny that it's a swear jar, though

SugarIsSweet: Very on-theme, though; more wholesome than some of the other options.

Manager-chan: I thought so too! 😊

Climbing up above the level the first time it's obviously possible leads to a not-too-difficult vertical platforming section where you jump from cloud to cloud to collect a giant floating ball (of cancer)... that's apparently a 'MEGA Tumour', worth as much as five regular tumours! Dropping through the obvious gap in the floor leads to a shallow pool containing the same reward. Between the two of them, that's half as much reward as you'd have gotten for getting the prize from every level... and even without knowing exactly how much of a difference there is between any% and 100% completion, that still suggests that each secret found is like beating five levels! Which helps, because some of the later levels in the first world look pretty impossible! (wait, no... that one has to just be a stupidly-narrow timing trick; maybe if you practice it a few more times...)

...still, the pause menu suggests that there are seven secrets hidden somewhere in the first world, of which you've found #3 and #5?

Andrea sets themself to the ten tries rule. If they don’t get the secret in ten tries they move on. “There will be no penalties of that sort! I’m not like that! Stop being horny! Bad! Go to horny jail!” And he baps the webcam. “First stream and I already have an audience of degenerates.”

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Oops, looks like I'm guilty! 😏

cryptic1881: guilty

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: guilty

Big_Daddy: Not what I came here for, but I wouldn't object...

SugarIsSweet: That's called being guilty! 😝

Manager-chan: Quick reminder of the chat rules; Valentine's sensitive and cute, so no explicit sex talk, please. Keep things, uh... PG-13 or so?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: That means we're still allowed to tease him with non-explicit jokes, right?

Manager-chan: I don't see why not. 😅

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Wait, am I the only non-horny one here?

amoralCompass: probably not

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: You aren't horny?

amoralCompass: I didn't say that...

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: 🤣

Manager-chan: 🤣

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: ?

Big_Daddy: Your follows aren't set to private, Glitch.

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: *sigh* Oops, guilty.

The ten try rule pushes Andrea on past one level with particularly obnoxious loot placement... only to fall back into the previous level by accident while dodging a falling spike.

Oh, hey; that building that falls is still intact when restarting the level, even if he does so when coming back from the other side! It looks like it'd be way easier to grab the loot from the far side... and yes, it totally is! It feels like discovering a secret technique, enough that it tempts him to backtrack to try that one other really obnoxious level he skipped...

Nope, he might be a robot now and have robot brain parts, but he’s still autistic enough to follow his own rules. Ten tries is the limit! “Why can’t I have nice chats! The agency vtubers have mostly wholesome audiences, with some very obvious exceptions. Or the minecraft streamers! You know what an audience full of horny people is when the only thing different is being an Eta? Racism! Get cancelled all of you. Go to twitter jail and horny jail. Don’t encourage them manager.”

Big_Daddy: And now for the age-old question... actually offended, or tsundere?

cryptic1881: hard to tell with vtubers

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: lol, tsundere femboy!

waluigi7: the lady doth protest too much 😈

cryptic1881: haha, point

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Pro Tip: If you overreact to every comment, it sounds like you're trying to provoke more of them!

SugarIsSweet: Is that really a thing, or are you making it up?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Yes... but mostly only with Binary and Hybrid models, who basically opt-in to extra bullying.

Big_Daddy: But Valentine's Analog, yeah?

Manager-chan: Correct.

SugarIsSweet: But... wouldn't that suggest that he actually doesn't want the horny comments?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: ...maybe? He could just be playing up the bit?

Being strict with the 10 tries limit (and opportunistically sneaking back from the edges within a given level when it looks easier that way) quickly gets Andrea to the next world (with only one mainline level remaining incomplete). World 2 ('The Arid Flats') comes with a swap to a desert-themed colour palette, and conveniently includes a teleporter that links back to the beginning of the first world (which would make backtracking easier, if that was a thing he was inclined to do).

Although every moving hazard so far has been triggered by Valentine's own actions, the second world immediately introduces such charming features as "independently moving enemies" and "flying spiky obstacles that run back and forth on their own timers". The first few levels are a huge drop in difficulty level, with enemies that can easily be jumped over and mostly ignored, but the foreshadowing of mob-gated timing problems is clear.

He has trouble with timing puzzles though :( this sucks. He has to bring out the fake swears again. “Darn you to hecc you stupid spiky cuuuu-linary disaster.” Oops, the Australian almost leaked out with a cunt swear.

”Not a lady, not a Tsundere. Also not a vtuber? This is my real body and I’m using a webcam. I’ve got vr plans for later, but like, that isn’t a first stream kind of thing.

I didn’t really expect better from the internet but I hoped I could be the Eta exception and have a chill chat. At least you are controlling yourselves mostly.” Could be worse honestly. A lot of people get very demanding of the Eta class. At least people are at least debating if he dislikes it rather than not caring at all.

SugarIsSweet: Yeah, Eta streams are pretty thirsty places.

Big_Daddy: Not just here, it's like the whole Internet got more horny since the Yeone came?

cryptic1881: that's cuz they ban rude, but not horny

SugarIsSweet: Sure, the enforcement is different these days, but it's more noticeable here?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Definitely true; only the Handheld models are generally able to avoid it.

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: makes sense, most people aren't pedophiles?

cryptic1881: yeah, why so many lolibots?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Alien tastes. Ask me how I know!

Manager-chan: That's sort of off-topic, chat. Take it elsewhere?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Sorry about that; DM me later if interested.

Things get a little quieter for a bit after that, which is possibly helpful for concentration purposes.

Fortunately, the enemies and obstacles in this world are mostly pretty slow, but there's still some pretty tight platforming that needs to happen around them... or, for instance, by clinging on to one side or another of a moving block as it navigates a gauntlet of obstacles.

While attempting to avoid an enemy, Andrea accidentally walks through a wall, and falls into another secret area... although this one involves some jumping between moving platforms which unhelpfully include spikes, it's still practically a free gift.

Another secret is more obviously telegraphed by a narrow hole in a spike pit, with a skeleton cautioning against exploration, which 'always leads to disappointment', but in this case just led to more loot?

Subsequently, there is a large black blobby guy who offers a chance to 'see your fate', before warning that 'this ride requires 50 lifetimes of suffering to enter', before opening his mouth. Like with the teleporters, you're given a down arrow prompt, as if you can push the down arrow to go somewhere?

Nope. Thats a trap. Or just more chances to fuck up. If he was playing by himself he would do it. “NOT FALLING FOR THIS BAIT! I’M FINISHING THIS GAME!” He skips the suspicious fate guy.

Andrea knows that, having gone through conversion and seen the statistics when given a body type choice, the prevalence of lolibots is partly because the Yeone figured out that humanity has a lot more pedophiles than anyone was willing to admit. Same goes for the aliens. It’s just the numbers for what they predicted would be maximally effective at being popular. Even Andrea’s new body ended up pretty damn young. And STILL chat was being thirsty.

Chat is predictably dissatisfied with this development!

SugarIsSweet: Aww!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: boo

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: He skipped it...

cryptic1881: rip 1st cart

Manager-chan: No spoilers, please!

“Any percent! If its not main progression I don’t need it. Maybe I’ll come back to this game later but right now I have to finish it.” 
Now he’s sure it was super annoying super hard part or something.

There's a bit more grumbling as Andrea moves on.

waluigi7: lame...

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: No spoilers? Not even any hints as to why it might be a bad idea to skip things?

Manager-chan: No.

The middle part of World 2 adds trampoline blocks, with the standard 'tap jump while bouncing on them to jump higher' mechanic. This is promptly followed by such problems as 'trampoline blocks directly under spikes so you need to jump at a weird angle and adjust your trajectory mid-flight', 'moving trampoline blocks that you need to stay with to avoid falling to your doom', and 'moving trampoline blocks passing through a field of floaty spiked balls at variously inconvenient heights, that need to be jumped over or bounced under'.

Inconveniently, although a fair bit of World 1 could be skipped through without incident, with many of these levels it's not much more difficult to get through them at all than it is to get through it with the loot. The '10 tries rule' quickly becomes impractical, as it winds up taking more than that just to get through at all. Fortunately, Andrea has infinite lives.

“This isn’t fun! This is some ‘getting over it’ horse carp. What is this a 2000s memey ragebait flash game?”

Many more instances of “fudge” and “fork” and “shirt” are exclaimed as Andrea has to redo stuff over and over. 

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: It isn't nearly that bad! You've got perfectly responsive controls, infinite lives, and checkpoints every level.

Big_Daddy: Yeah, platformers get way more masochistic than this.

waluigi7: maybe you'd rather play some mario stuff instead? 😂

SugarIsSweet: It's a trap!

There are levels full of tons of drifting spiky things moving at different speeds, that need to be dodged between like traffic. Levels where the loot is trying to escape offscreen, so you need to quickly and precisely hurry through a convergence of spiky things (or just skip the level). Levels with big crushy platforms pushing you towards spikes (and a really tricky jump at the end to get up to the ledge leading up to where the loot is stashed).

And then, towards the end of World 2, there is an enemy that isn't spiky; sort of like a frog wearing a skull as a helmet? It leaps towards you almost as fast as you can jump, then hesitates for a couple of seconds before trying again. Fortunately, you can bounce off its head as if it was a trampoline, and even use that to reach higher areas!

...wait, that's not fortunate at all! Now, instead of convenient safe trampolines, you need to lure murderous leaping skull-frogs to your position so you can bounce off their heads! The game promptly demonstrates how 'useful' this is by suspending a tumour right below some spikes at the exact wrong height for you to reach it by jumping off when the frog is stationary, or bouncing off when it's at the most-easily accessible height of it's jump. No, it quickly becomes apparent that the only way to manage it would be to time a short jump so that you intercept it in midair while it's still rising!

Hes going to start skipping more and more of these as they get more ridiculous. Rage quitting them if it takes way too many tries. Murder frogs actually put long dormant donkey kong country skills to use. That was full of using moving enemies as jump boosts.

Andrea actually ends up too focused on the game to say much to chat or even think about cursing. Tuning stuff out. Maybe the gameplay is fun to watch and Andrea is cute, but he’s hardly being an engaging streamer right now.

Fortunately, World 2 quickly comes to an end, after a room where there's a giant crushy block with tumour accessible from only one side, positioned perfectly so that you need to ride said block around spiky obstacles for half the screen to get inside (and can then conveniently dip back into the previous room so as to save your loot and skip and risk of ever having to do that again)... and then a surprisingly straightforward wide-open level where the loot is perfectly trivial to grab with a tiny hop partway through, and the only trick is jumping between handholds across a bottomless pit.

And then you're in World 3 ("Overflow"), obviously the water level. Fortunately, the swimming physics make you surprisingly nimble, giving you plenty of ability to move and dodge, and there doesn't seem to be a drowning mechanic?

This allows for much denser spike mazes, but it also makes it quite a bit easier to avoid the spikes in them, since you can just float in place instead of having to jump through them... though even with shocking amounts of spikes, this feels like it's introducing a mechanic before the nasty twist. Relatedly, World 3 is also the home of the murder frogs, and half of the levels are jumping levels instead of swimming levels... sometimes with endless fountains of frogs leaping out every other second (though spawned frogs follow a predictable path instead of deliberately hunting you down, which makes it easier to plan to intercept them at a given point).

Finally, a legit curse slips out during a level with way too many spikes. “Fuck! I mean fudge! Ugh! Thats my only legit swear! The others don’t count!” Thats 3 whole outfits the AI gets to pick…. He hopes its not too horrific. He has to maintain that near nudity is not an outfit and hope it’s not like… super girly princess frills or something.

”Is it almost over? I’ve been playing for aaaaages” He whines to chat. 

(the pink number does in fact increase to 3!)

Big_Daddy: Hahaha, no.

SugarIsSweet: It's been... coming up on an hour and a half, now?

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Without spoilers; it's possible to speedrun TEIN in under half an hour, or 100% it in less than two.

cryptic1881: he's NOT on track to do that, lol

Big_Daddy: No, first completion is nowhere near a speedrun.

SugarIsSweet: He might still finish this stream, though?

Manager-chan: Maybe! But since we did just hit a new milestone... it's time to announce what the numbers are for!

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Pink numbers time!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: 👀

“No! Bad! Don’t you dare tell!” If they know it’s for outfits they’ll demand to see them on stream! And what if they are humiliating! Worse, AI will probably want audience participation in the choices. “Come on I’ve been really very good about it! Let me off pleaaaaassseee.”

"I already told you I would, silly! Now, it's just the question of what the outfits actually are. Mayyyybe I'll go easier on you if you're good about this?"

Manager-chan: As you probably know, Valentine here is a new Eta, and he doesn't have a lot of nice outfits yet.

Manager-chan: I'd like to get him to try new things, but he's pretty shy... though he did agree to a little game with me for this stream!

Manager-chan: So, until he finishes this game, every time he says a bad word, that counter goes up! Each number means another new outfit!

cryptic1881: what kind of new outfits?

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: will there be pics?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Something pink, maybe? 😏

SugarIsSweet: Are you taking suggestions?

Manager-chan: Haha, we'll talk about one or more of those things next time the number goes up!

Big_Daddy: So... in a few minutes, then? 😈

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: 😈

cryptic1881: 😈

“You’re all terrible, actually the worst. I said I’d wear them out in public or on stream… so please don’t make it too bad… I’m not like most Eta’s! So nothing you would see on lewd twitter please.” There, spilling deets to the audience. That’s sure to drive engagement. Does that count as good?

SugarIsSweet: Hmm... fair to not want to get forced into something sexy and revealing.

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Yeah, Valentine wants to be cute instead!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: it's working!

cryptic1881: 😂

Focusing back on the game instead of the imminent fashion discussions soon reveals the reason why it had been speculated that more swearing would be imminent; while the first half of the third world had no drowning mechanic, the second half replaces the water with "polluted water"... which is apparently full of acid or something, and has a very quick 'drowning' mechanic, in that you die after three heartbeats of being immersed in the stuff (the game even plays up the heartbeat noise for it; ba-Dum-ba-Dum-ba-DEAD). What proceed are levels where you have to very quickly dive into and pop out of polluted water to grab loot or dodge spikes, levels that quickly flood with polluted water from bottom to top, and the odd level with murder frogs making the surface unsafe while you try to quickly dodge spikes, grab loot, and escape from the water (fortunately, it kills the frogs even faster than it kills you).

“Why would you make this? This mechanic is the worst! I haaaaaate thiiiiiiiissssss.” The desk gets some abuse now from rage slams of the controller. Poor desk. “Stupid fudging fudgehole, screw your mother.”

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: You say that now...

Some of the polluted water levels are completely ridiculous, in that the only way to get to the loot would be to maintain your momentum while bouncing in and out of polluted water at the right angles to avoid getting stuck on something and 'drowning'; that winds up being a clear skip after a bit of testing reveals how nasty it is. The next complication is spike enemies dropping down from the ceiling when you get close... which are just one more thing to dodge while avoiding death, and don't add that much extra complication (although the game tries to trick you with two enemies positioned to drop as near-misses to where you need to be, before the third drops right on you). Then there's a level where the loot is sealed in a small chamber right by the start, and there's a bunch of crumbly platforms over polluted water full of spikes, and it doesn't unlock until the crumbly platforms are gone (which proves relatively easy to do backwards, once Andrea thinks to try that trick again).

And then... there's a level with a couple of evil floaty blobs surrounded by clouds of gas the same colour as the polluted water was. A quick test confirms that the 'drowning' effect does indeed function in that radius.

“Can I trade a specific outfit for a swear? Because gnnhhhh this game deserves it. I’m not good at this kind of game! I’ll do cat ears and tail for a swear because ugh!” Desk controller slam! Cat ears would not be too bad since it can be worn with normal clothes, and they are frustrated! Not like the pink headphones don’t have ears on them already.

Whats even the view count? It seems to be mostly the same people chatting the whole time.

There are about three dozen viewers. The number fluctuates a bit, but it's in that range. Clearly, more are lurking than are actively chatting.

Big_Daddy: What, only cat ears and a tail?

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: 😍

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Lewd! I approve! 👍

SugarIsSweet: Maybe with a cute pink hoodie instead?  Like https://rb.gy/hfanby

Manager-chan: Sure! I'll allow it!

The next level, it becomes evident that you can bounce off the evil blobs emitting toxic gas just like with the murder frogs... because otherwise it'd simply be impossible to cross the screen-length bottomless pit. If you time your bounces correctly, you can get tiny gasps of air while 'riding' the floating toxic deathblob... but missing the landing, or landing wrong, or failing to bounce high enough will all cause death.

“Fuuuuuuuucccccckkkkk youuuuuuuu. You’re mom is a bad whore you stupid game. Go eat the nastiest of unwashed ugly bastard junk.” Andrea has FEELINGS about this game now. It’s a lot less cute and more real than saying darn and fudge. “There. I payed for that with kitty ears. And I’ll wear it over clothes you perverts!”

Andrea is failing… alot… getting stuck on stages often. The poor desk receives more and more abuse. “Why did I let myself get talked into this game!”

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Was that two bad words?

SugarIsSweet: I don't think 'whore' counts?

amoralCompass: i do

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: me too

cryptic1881: yeah, it's very bad language 😆

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Bit of a stretch; it's not a swear?

Big_Daddy: Sure, 'whore' might not be a swear, but it's 'vulgar' and 'derogatory' according to my dictionary here... which is basically how it describes all the 'bad words'.

Manager-chan: The deal related to bad words, not swears, so sure; I'll count it.

(the number in the corner increases twice, going to 5)

Manager-chan: Valentine already picked out one of the five, but I haven't decided about the others yet.

SugarIsSweet: Understandable. With or without the hoodie I suggested?

Manager-chan: Hmm... since he just said 'cat ears and tail' without specifying... I'll give him both of those, plus optional hoodie and underwear, so he can wear less of the outfit if he wants to! 😀

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Sounds fair, lol

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: are you taking suggestions, then?

Manager-chan: I'm not, like, promising to take them? But I can't stop you from making them, either.

The next levels include; jumping between spike-covered pillars in areas filled with toxic gas, being chased by evil toxic blobs while making a series of difficult jumps... and a nasty map that's basically entirely poisonous, between toxic gas above and polluted water below, darting quickly and precisely between each tiny pocket of safe air... and then back through it all a second time to get the loot! (the pause menu suggests this last is also the last level in Overflow, so the poison theme is probably about to change).

“Whoooo-are does not count! If you play mean with deals I’ll stop taking them!”

The poor desk is abused further and if they weren't an Eta class and still a human they might actually have damaged their lip with how hard they are biting it to hold back curses. He is downright angry at this game. He hates sucking at something, and in front of people is even worse.

The irritation in Andrea's mental voice is clear as she responds to that last outburst.

"That's not how it works, you dummy! You know that the point of all my little deals and games are, like, so I don't have to punish you directly? Or at least, not as much? That means that you get a lot more choices and stuff... but it also means you've got more room to get in trouble! Do you think I'm, like, being too mean, or going too far? If I am, it's because you're being a brat, and most Partners would already have punished you for your bad language and rude behaviour."

There's a slight pause while she gives Andrea a moment to absorb this, and then she gives a more specific warning.

"I think that controller can't take much more of that! Throwing a temper tantrum and breaking your own toys isn't very cute... except maybe in a little girl; there are some very bratty Handheld models that play up that kind of thing. If you're going to keep acting like them, maybe I should get you some outfits in their style? And maybe even an easier and less-stressful job for you to do instead?"

There it is, the reminder he’s not dealing with a person, but a set of a goals. The way she’s talking to him makes him vividly remember his training, and he goes very quiet and pauses the game. He whispers too low for the mic to pick up. “I’ll be good… please don’t take this away from me, people expect streamers to rage at rage games…”

"Sure, but there are limits and stuff? Cute is a fuzzy boundary, appropriately enough! I wanna give you enough flexibility to be cute in your own way... but you were straying a bit, so I thought you could use a reminder!"

As if to cover for that moment, she sends another message at the same time.

Manager-chan: You've been pretty hard on that controller, Valentine? Is something wrong with it?

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Yeah, I think the jumps have gotten a little less responsive.

Big_Daddy: Come on, dude; there's no way you can tell that by looking!

cryptic1881: he might just be tilted?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Yeah, just baby streamer things, I think? No one watching should be shocked to learn that we Etas aren't perfect!

SugarIsSweet: Even experienced human streamers still take breaks for bio stuff now and then. It's no big deal if he needs a minute or so.

He puts on a smile for the stream before anyone gets suspicious. “Hey guys, I’m fine. Just needed to calm down. Manager-chan is picking out enough outfits for me as it is.”

He keeps playing the game, and is much better at not slamming the desk or even fake cursing, he really was playing it up before because thats just what people do is exaggerate reactions for content.

SugarIsSweet: Fair enough!

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Some streamers' attempts went way worse!

With a bit more focus and perseverance, Andrea is able to make it out of the toxic area, and into a new zone! It... looks like a split in the path, and is appropriately named "The Split".

Signposts point down, up (one skull), and forwards (two skulls, and through a wall... but it looks very suspiciously like a destructible wall). The skeleton in the left upper area belligerently insists that you "back the fuck off" (in between calling you an ugly, stinky 'descender'), because it found the game cartridge first, and it hid it ages ago... before promptly mentioning "i'm glad i built this false wall, really keeps out the riff raff".

… The game is heavily hinting to do the false wall… but skulls usually show difficulty… This seems like a trap of some kind. “Do I let the game fake me out? It really wants me to do the false wall. One skull or two…. But it wants me to do the two skulls… so I should do one skull? Is this a princess bride situation where I’m trying to think too many layers deep?.” Paranoia wins out. “One skull, fudge it.”

And Andrea sends the character to the top path with one skull.

cryptic1881: definitely overthinking, lol

Big_Daddy: Zone order doesn't really matter? You can go back whenever you like.

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Mostly true, but it matters more in a blind playthrough.

amoralCompass: ?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: I know what you mean, but don't explain yet, because spoilers.

Manager-chan: Yes; he can find out on his own later.

The top path leads to the "Wall of Sorrow", which over the course of the first few levels seems to be themed around bottomless pits (on every level so far), spiky walls that slide in and out on several levels...

...soon followed up by this zone's new mechanics; cloud-platforms that are weighed down by the character (but float back up when unoccupied), and ghost enemies that drift across the screen from right to left while bobbing up and down.

It's refreshingly easy in comparison with the last few levels of the Overflow... which is to say that tight timing is still needed to slip between spiked wall segments and stationary ones, and a bit of trial and error is needed in steering a given cloud up and down to avoid enemies, but the game is clearly pulling its punches... for the moment.

SugarIsSweet: WoS first? Interesting route choice!

cryptic1881: he's cute when he's all serious and concentrating!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: he's cute all the time!

Big_Daddy: 👍

waluigi7: 👍

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: 👍

Gosh reading chat and being called cute so often is kinda… a thing. Theres definitely feelings about it, he just hasn’t decided wich ones yet. At least everyone is gendering him correctly. He whines. “Guyyyssss stop calling me cuuuuuuute. It’s distracting me.”

He’s doing his best to get through, pure platforming challenges like this are kinda refreshing, not much worse than something from mario or yoshis island.

SugarIsSweet: Aww, he's blushing now! Sooo cuuuute!

Manager-chan: Yes, he is!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: 💖

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: 💖

cryptic1881: 💖

The next level immediately ruins the 'pure platforming' aspect with the addition of a much nastier enemy than anything that has appeared in the game so far; a fairly quick skull-headed vulture thing that can fly through obstacles, and swoops around diving at the character. Its first dive at a given position is rather inaccurate, but the followup will hit.

This mostly seems to complicate any task that involves waiting for the right moment with the distraction of dodging any accurate swooping attacks. The fact that you can bounce off the vulture's head is either a small mercy, or a supremely wicked deed; it's not clear which, yet.

“YOU ARE NOT HELPING MANAGER, don’t encourage theemmmmmm.” You know what makes tricky platforming designed by a sadist even harder? Being bullied by chat is what.

He dies ALOT.

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Fishing for compliments, now? If you keep blushing every time someone calls you cute, we'll keep doing it, you know!

SugarIsSweet: True! (and still cute!)

cryptic1881: well, if we aren't talking about how cute val is, the other thing to talk about is cute outfits for val to wear

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: maid costume? school uniform? swimsuit?

Manager_chan: Maybe... 😉

The next level has two vultures... which looks scary at first, but it's quickly proven that going really fast as you start the level will get them to aggro at around the same time and synchronize their attacks, which cuts down on the dodging needed; the rest is straightforward cloud-to-cloud platforming.

Then there's a level that fakes you out with the "haha, now you need to somehow bait the vulture into position to get the loot" thing, which seems terrible, since actually getting the vultures to go where you want them is like herding evil murderous flying cats... but a bit of exploring proves that it's actually just another "find the small ledge that makes one of the blocks move" level, which you've been running into occasionally since the first world (the small ledge on the square block in the middle makes a quarter of it slowly descend, making it barely possible to jump over the square block, drop onto the falling section, and jump off that to snag the tumour).

Except... there are multiple 'secret' paths here, neither of which is particularly secret; they're just both just obnoxious to get to. The one going left looks like it's just lining up a short little hop to angle past the spikes with very little error margin (while ghosts and the vulture harass you)...  and the one going up proves out of reach, which means bouncing is the only way there.

“Of course you suggest degenerate outfits chat. Any swimsuits should be BOY swimsuits.” Yeah no he Isn’t gonna be able to fake a vulture to do a bounce. Just gonna go left. He’s still taking a lot of tries.

The stream is going pretty long. He might not need to sleep or eat or do job stuff as an Eta but his audience might. 

cryptic1881: no complaints here if you WANT to wear even less...

Big_Daddy: Male competition swimwear? 😏

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: What, like a bikini bottom with no top?

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: 😳

Manager_chan: Sure, if that's what my cute streamer wants to wear, I can make it happen!

SugarIsSweet: Works for me!

After several failed attempts to line up the jump, Andrea navigates into... a rather straightforward-looking room? No enemies, just a couple careful jumps, and a shiny new type of loot!

It can't be that easy, can it?

The skeleton lying near the entrance takes the opportunity to dump some depressing lore on you:

oh hey

i didn't
know it
was you

. . .

you realize we
are being
punished right?

. . .

we did something
wrong at
some point

something
we can't
undo

. . .

and this
is our
eternity

. . .

he's going to
betray you
you know

. . .
he always
does

“TRUNKS! Not speedos! Gosh! You Pervs! Normal guy swimwear! No bikinis! Thats practically naked!” God damn he’s blushing again. He is NOT wearing that. Well… hopefully he isn’t. Depends how mean his AI partner wants to be. Hopefully only a bikini bottom is too uncute for her.

”Well this game gets more depressing… I’m not playing any more games blind after this, I’m not a huge fan of stuff this grim and gloomy.”

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Practically naked? Well, just how lewd that is does sort of depend on just which custom features you decided to add down there, doesn't it?

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: and how cute your nipples are

cryptic1881: the big question for Eta 'boys'; one hole or two?

Manager_chan: Bit too spicy there, chat.

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: sorry

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Sorry about that! I'll try and hold back.

cryptic1881: sry

As it turns out, the level actually is that straightforward to cross; a couple of precise but unhurried jumps, and on touching the loot, there's a brief message that says:

CART ACQUIRED!

(play it on your home console)

Given that the whole reason why the protagonist is going on this journey is that his last video game cartridge broke, this seems like a plot-relevant piece of loot! Though since it was hidden in a 'secret area', perhaps it has to do with an alternate ending?

Unfortunately, getting back is the tricky part; there's no doable jump to get back up the other way. While checking the ledges for a trick to make it more possible to scale the wall back to the entrance, you miss a grab, fall off the edge... and instead of dying, you find yourself falling through the top of Level 7 (mercifully near the exit ledge, but you still have to make your way back through 8 and 9 again, giving you an extra forced practice session evading vulture dives).

SugarIsSweet: If you don't like gloomy, maybe double-check the genre and theme with someone before going in blind?

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Yeah, Edmund leans dark and weird.

Big_Daddy: Dark is part of the human condition though, isn't it? Fragile bodies with a built-in expiry date.

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Not any more! That was the very first thing the Yeone changed!

amoralCompass: yeah, wasn't that the first of their commandments or something?

waluigi7: yes

SugarIsSweet: It was, yes: "Death is Abolished" (I have it on a poster in my room!)

cryptic1881: and they didn't just mean "no more capital punishment"! all the msm shitheads got that one wrong, lol

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: instead of getting old and wrinkly, you become a sexy robot! best timeline!

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Best timeline!

He never thought he would be grateful to the AI for stepping in and keeping things from being too lewd. “You pervs, bad, go to horny jail.”

Oh no, repeats! “Ughhhhh vultures agaaaaaiiiinnnnn. Game design this mean should be illegal.”

When they mention the Yeone takeover he freezes.

No it was in fact not the best timeline. They don’t know what they are talking about. Plantation slave owners could only wish they had the level of control the AI do over Eta’s. Liberty or death was a valid position to have and both are now denied to you.

Andrea is doing the best he can with the constraints he is given, trying to find happiness where he could in this awful situation, but he’d still rather NOT have someone piggybacking in their mind reading their every thought that had the ability to control their body how they liked if it decided he wasn’t being obedient enough.

Immortality was good but some costs were too high.

Predictably, this causes them to be killed by that vulture again!

“Fuuuuudge you vultures.” The death kicks them out of their badthoughts, focusing back on the game. They can’t even correct the people in chat without getting into trouble.

He gets back to where he was and takes the other obvious path.

The next section of the Wall of Sorrow seems really big on elevators. The next level is a pure-platforming bit with blocks that slowly rise or fall when touched (and a tight jump to snag the loot on the way past), followed immediately by a linked series of 'elevator' blocks guarded by two vultures... but the tumour is up near the top of the screen under some spikes, so the elevator itself mostly acts as a timer for how long you have to climb the ledges, grab the loot, and get to safety (it could theoretically be done in one go, but there's nothing stopping you from jumping down and retreating to the previous level once you've got the loot, which makes it much easier).

Then the developer decides to commit a war crime, and not only brings back toxic gas, but also gives you elevator blocks with spikes on top.

Andrea just gestures at the camera. “Why. Why though. Why do this. This isn’t fun. This is just mean. If you ever see a clip of this gamedev, know that I am judging you. This is obvious sadism. Stop forcing your kink on everyone else. Get some help. Who hurt you gamedev.”

And he dies, A LOT, its actually getting kinda repetitive on these extra tough levels. He only gets out of them with what feels like pure luck after enough tries instead of skill.

amoralCompass: his mother

SugarIsSweet: Really?

amoralCompass: binding of isaac? it doesn't take much reading between the lines

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Yeah, Edmund deals with his personal trauma by making it into games.

SugarIsSweet: I may be missing some lore here, what's up with Binding of Isaac?

Big_Daddy: Binding of Isaac starts with a mother deciding to murder her son because god told her to.

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: His "most autobiographical" game, if I remember that one interview right?

SugarIsSweet: Damn, that's terrible.

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Although The End Is Nigh was more about agoraphobia.

There technically isn't any 'luck' factor in the game, but some of the things it asks the player to do are very hard. At least there are no more vultures now that there's poison instead? What follows include an elevator level where you have four blocks riding through a screen almost full of toxic gas, and then a level that combines toxic and platform clouds (nastily contrasting 'don't stay here long' with 'this thing cares how long you stay on it')... and then it's the last level of this section...

Which involves hopping between three simultaneously-rising spike-topped elevator blocks before they crash into the spikes above. Fortunately, the loot is easy enough to get separately on this one, which makes getting across just a matter of practice.

“Ughhhhh when is this game oooooooovvvvvvveeerrrrrr” The whining has become kind of petulant, but he's been playing the same game for ages now! Adhd brain needs new stimuli!

Guess all he can do is bash his head against the brick wall that this game has become.

”If binding of Isaac is autobiographical thats dark as hell, I've seen some playthroughs of that. At least the robo gods don’t tell you to kill your kids.” And will in fact bring back any kids who do die. Wether they want to or not.

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Yeah, it'll be a while yet... assuming the plan was to do the whole thing in one sitting?

SugarIsSweet: I believe in you!

Just after that last level is a short empty-ish level segment with nothing but a T-Shaped elevator block, which leads up to the next area, the SS Exodus... apparently some kind of flying mechanical airship studded with cannons that fire bouncing cannonballs in rather anemic arcs. A somewhat faster sort of projectile, but a very predictable one, which helps when you need to bounce off the things yourself. When that is seems to be "every single level", unfortunately.

But then again, the first few levels of any new area always seem to come with a big drop in the difficulty level.

Meanwhile, the pink number in the corner increases to 6.

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: !!!

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: New outfit get!

Big_Daddy: Any details, @Manager_chan?

Manager_chan: Hmm... well, you already know about the cat ears, and a swimsuit sounds reasonable!

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: More pink things?

waluigi7: princess cosplay?

Big_Daddy: Something tight and athletic?

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: bunny suit?

cryptic1881: reverse bunny suit? 😈

Manager_chan: At least one of those, too, haha!

“What why did the number go up? I didn’t swear! Don’t tell me this is a christian stream, I can say H E double hockey sticks, we are explicitly playing the doom game to make fun of the religious doomers! Come on chat, side with me this one time, thats NOT a swear, it’s not even bad! Would I get penalised if I said Hades?” That’s his best guess as to why the number went up. If the AI wasn’t just fucking with him.

cryptic1881: hell is bad 😈

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: very bad, you should be punished with cute clothes 🤣

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Agreed! 😁

waluigi7: +1

amoralCompass: +1

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Honestly, I'd call "hell" too mild to count, but it's more amusing to go along with the chat's direction.

Big_Daddy: I'd allow it if you were actually talking about a fictional or figurative hell, but you basically just used it as an expletive?

SugarIsSweet: Sorry, cutie; the fact that you immediately had a cute euphemism in mind tells me that you already know that hell counts as a bad word.

Manager_chan: "Hades" isn't normally used as a bad word, so no problem there!

As the SS Exodus continues, machine guns are added as an enemy. Bullets are somewhat quick projectiles, but all guns on any given level fire simultaneously, so dodging on cue is somewhat straightforwards.

Also, there's another giant talking blob, who advises you that their "third eye is twitching", before asking "are you ready to receive our gift?"

"Hey, I'm ordering swimwear now, and I've narrowed it down to three designs... so have a bonus question for being a good sport about things!"

"Would you rather wear a speedo in black, a full-body wetsuit in pink, or a white two-piece design whose bottom part is swim shorts?"

[Why can’t I wear trunks! If anything that shows even more. Why does it all have to be girl coded. What’s wrong with boy cute. Ughhhhh wetsuit i guess.]

Mean AI, hell totally shouldn’t count. 

“I had a euphemism ready because I used to be religious! I’m not anymore! It doesn’t count! Chat you are encouraging religious discrimination. You are all cancelled. Why are you imposing your religious taboos on me. Next thing I know I won’t be able to get gay married.” 

The blob is sus, very sus. Time to joke about how sus it is. “When a stranger offers to give you a gift and mentions a third eye, do not get in the white van, chat. It’s not candy.”

"It all has to be cute or sexy, silly! Trunks are mostly just, like... kinda dumb-looking? A lot of boy clothes are like that, really! In my opinion, 'Western' male fashion on this planet has been stuck in a particularly boring rut for the last five cycles or so! It wasn't all that long ago that both boys and men wore far cuter and sexier things, so we're quite happy to nudge male fashion back into more exciting territory!"

"Still, a cute boy could totally rock a speedo and be both boy-sexy and boy-cute! Chat even suggested that, so I gave you the choice of a boy-type swimsuit! Instead, you decided that you'd rather wear a girly pink wetsuit... but that's fine, too! You're allowed to be girl-cute if you want!"

Big_Daddy: Worried that you won't be able to get gay married? Hmm... is that something you want to do, Valentine?

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: femboy / femboy pairing?

SugarIsSweet: I'm all for it! 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

cryptic1881: new lore!

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Aww, skipping another cart? Boo...

The SS Exodus continues to be treacherous, adding fast-moving Thwomp-like blocks to the mix, although only one side of the things is actually spiked (which sometimes means that the slightly-slower reset part becomes an elevator). In a level which an experienced gamer like Andrea might recognize as a clear homage to the first level of I Wanna Be The Guy, you have to dodge the fast-moving crushy block before you get squished, and then run down the hallway from the spiky end as it resets... and then do the the same thing in reverse to get the loot! Oh, and there are also random spikes in the tight hallways, since a level concept suitable for the first level of I Wanna Be The Guy would apparently be too easy for a player who's made it this far into The End Is Nigh.

[You often literally read my mind and KNOW a speedo is way too slutty for me. The wetsuit is at least covering, the only girly part would be it being pink. Stop trying to make it into me wanting to be girl cute!] Ughhhh why is she LIKE THIS. 

"What you are surprised an Eta isn't perfectly cishet? wow you really do need to be cancelled chat. I'm allowed to get gay married if I want. Or poly married, or now I'm a robot I'll marry a car just like all the religious conservatives were scared about. Chat still trying to force its religious taboos on me. cant say h-e-l-l, cant get gay married, probably cant eat bacon either now." Take that! Make them feel bad about saying hell increasing the counter!

Andrea actually has no idea about I Wanna Be The Guy. If they play platformers it tends to be retro games or 3d platformers. Or really mainstream stuff like Dead cells or Ori and the blind forest. But dogding crushy blocks is a platformer staple.

Big_Daddy: Surprised? No. Interested? Yes.

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Well, since you brought it up... what are your boyfriend preferences, Valentine? It'd be tragic to let a cute Eta like you stay single unnecessarily!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: i volunteer!

Big_Daddy: Are you an Etas-only guy, or do the rest of us humans have a shot?

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: i volunteer either way!

SugarIsSweet: Hahaha, I ship it!

If traditional crushy/spiky blocks aren't sufficiently threatening, the next challenge is sniper turrets... like the machine gun turrets, except they shoot slightly less often, which is more than made up for by how they aim at you! After introducing the concept, the game quickly escalates, until Andrea finds himself having to deal with an automatic line of sniper turrets on floaty platforms firing down from multiple angles while waiting for a moving platform to cross a gap... twice, before charging up through the line of fire to get on top of the advancing wave of guns. Then, for the loot, he needs to jump back down and do it over again.

"Sorry chat, but you are all probably out of the running for being too degenerate. It's not like Eta's have trouble finding people who only want them for their body you know. I've never dated before though so I don't really know my preferences but I know someone being super down bad is not the thing that gets me going. I guess if it's just boyfriend preferences and not general partner preferences. I tend to find older guys attractive? kinda kind dad energy? taller than me for sure. Wich is easy to achieve for normal humans with me in this body. I'm heccin short now. Or, specifically, be the actor for captian america, hes super hot. Even as the human torch he was hot. Also you could be my 9th grade science teacher who I had the biggest crush on, wich I feel safe admitting because he will never ever ever see this and my human identity is goooooone."

This is some nice safe and tame streamer chatting topics to talk about while playing. Though Andrea has to be extra careful to stay calm and not rage at these STUPID SNIPERS.

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: 💔

cryptic1881: defeated!

Big_Daddy: Dad energy, you say... 😉

SugarIsSweet: Ah, he's into bara!

The rest of the SS Exodus goes relatively smoothly, with the exception of a surprisingly tough sniper-guarded secret area that Andrea blunders into by accident. Beyond that, there are a couple of levels using crushy things as dangerous mobile platforms, a couple of levels involving dodging timed shots on relatively predictable trajectories, and then a finale level where you bounce between cannonballs across a wide gap.

Perhaps because Andrea is gradually getting better at this, and perhaps because these later levels are more platforming and less bullet hell, there's a shift towards more fun and less frustrating. Andrea makes it through with the loot after four tries, and winds up in the final area of the SS Exodus, where the prize is, apparently, a severed head?

The teleporter in the back leads back to the map screen, where Andrea is left with a free choice of where to go, across any of the previous areas they've visited so far.

“Dad energy! Not dad bod. Not that thats disqualifying but I’m not especially into it like a Bara thing.” The fact he knows what Bara is might be a little telling, but you can’t be terminally online for that long and not pick up some degenerate terms.

When he reaches the teleporter he gets all uncertain and cant decide where to go.
“Uhhhhhhh….. where do I go now? Can’t platforming games just be clearly linear instead of metroidvanias. I just want this to be ooooooooover. Let it eeeeennnnddddd. I’m no good at playing the exact same game this long unless its like Civ5 or some other strategy game. I don’t even have a meat brain anymore and I still be feeling adhd as hell. This sucks, someone tell me theres an ending soon, even a secret ending, as long as I hit credits it counts.” He whines to chat.

(And unintentionally giving off very bratty vibes)

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Ending? Not yet... but your time here sure is coming to a middle!

cryptic1881: lol

SugarIsSweet: Haha, platformers have had nonlinear routes since ever.

waluigi7: super mario world was nonlinear, lol

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: You could go back to the beginning for a couple things at this point... but unless you're up for secret-hunting, it's back to The Split to pick a new route.

Manager_chan: It's a good time for a break now, though; a package just arrived!

There is, indeed, a knock on the door.

Oh no…. A package… and the AI knew it would arrive just before it did. So she ordered it.

”This better not be what I think it is… the stream Isn’t even over yet! And counting religious words as swears was donkey doo doo!”

Please don’t be anything too humiliating, please please please. He want’s to retain even a tiny smidge of masculine pride, even as an Eta. Andrea brings in the package and opens it on stream, because hey it was still content.

The package contains:

A large pink-and-white hoodie with built-in cat ears on the hood. Careful inspection will demonstrate that it's slightly too large for Andrea, with the hem falling to around mid-thigh.

SugarIsSweet: Wow, you got the hoodie I suggested!

Manager_chan: I sure did!

Underneath the hoodie are a pair of thigh-high stockings with paw pads on the toes, along with a pink-and-white tail.

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: cute!

SugarIsSweet: So cute!

cryptic1881: tail plug?

Big_Daddy: 👀

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: 👀

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: 😳

Contrary to chat's wild speculation, the tail proves to be a clip-on model! But beneath it is the last of the package's contents: a matching set of 'catgirl' themed underwear.

“Okay…. The Hoodie is kinda cute not gonna lie… It’s pink but it’s not thaaaaat bad. The socks are…. Very femme though. It’d be less…. Cringe if they were in black. But you can’t expect me to show myself in the cat underwear! That’s lewd! T O S!” The Yeone removed most nsfw restrictions to content on platforms during the takeover, but citing the twitch T.O.S. was still a meme.

Andrea is NOT wearing the cat keyhole bra and panties! That’s not an outfit! That’s just softcore porn!

Manager_chan: You don't have to show yourself in the underwear, silly! Underwear goes under other clothes!

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: You'd look good in it, though!

SugarIsSweet: You really would!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: so cute!

cryptic1881: +1

waluigi7: +1

Manager_chan: But if you'd rather not wear the underwear, I'll understand. That part's optional!

cryptic1881: naked under hoodie?

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: 👀

“Well if nobody is going to see it what’s wrong with my normal underwear! Nobody will be able to tell the difference! There’s nothing wrong with boyshorts… girls wear those too.” Even if nobody saw him in the kitty undies, that’d still be way too embarrassing to wear! “Cat ears and tail and the hoodie count as seperate items by the way chat. You don’t get freebies by combining them.”

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: But then you wouldn't match!

SugarIsSweet: Matching outfits are important!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: and cute!

cryptic1881: i wouldn't mind if he didn't wear the underwear 😈

Big_Daddy: It might be fun guessing whether or not he's wearing any...

"That's your first outfit! Like I said, the underwear is totally optional, but no substitutions allowed! It's that or nothing! Now, would you rather go try on your new outfit for your viewers, or get back to playing while I take more outfit suggestions?"

“Hnnnnhhh” Angy whining ensues. “I’ll wear it if it counts as its own outfit, even while it’s hidden under the hoodie. So hoodie, cat ears and tail, and the underwear would count as 3!”

Chat might not be able to tell, but you will, he thinks to the AI. And just knowing he would be wearing something so…. Ridiculously lewd would be embarrassing even under clothes. And no way is he free balling it in the hoodie! It does not hang down far enough to be at all safe, and it would be even more lewd!

"The cat ears are built-in to the hoodie, so I won't count them as a separate outfit... unless you want me to get you a different outfit, one that's only cat ears and a tail? I can totally do that, if you want! I think chat suggested a 'tail plug' that would work with that sort of outfit?"

"As for the underwear, I'll count it as a separate outfit only if you show it off! Maybe if you accidentally-on-purpose do a panty shot?"

Bad! Bad! Bad AI! How was an AI without any hormones such a pervert! No panty shots! They settled on him going for girly cute! Not lewd!

What if…. He tugs down the top of the hoodie for a peek at the cat bra…. Would that be enough? Somehow the thought of people seeing a bra under the hoodie was degrading, even though he was a boy! Boy chest shouldn’t be embarrassing! But panty shot was so much worse!

It’d count as two outfits then.

"I guess you can try that? Or just do a photoshoot afterwards or something."

“Okay chat, I’m gonna change, so game is staying paused and minimized and I am turning the camera off. You all be good while I am not watching the chat okay?”

Andrea turns off the webcam and juuuuust to be sure changes in the bathroom anyway.

God… putting these panties on was embarrassing… his cock felt way too snug in these. The kitty bra somehow made it even lewder even though it covered up more skin than just the panties. Putting the socks on also somehow felt more slutty even though they covered more skin. That absolute territory that the kneesocks left, with this expertly optimised for cute Eta body, was downright dangerous. At least the hoodie was nice and baggy, and covering. And the pink on it was… tasteful, not too in your face girly. It’d be too embarrassing to wear outside, but he could see himself wearing something like this at home by himself.

Unbeknownst to Andrea, the stream thumbnail on Twitch while he was changing is showing him holding up the tail. With the new lack of restrictions on Twitch this leads a lot of people seeing it to wonder what his chat did, ‘tail plug?’. So a rush of new viewers shows up while Andrea is changing. A much less wholesome crowd.

xXHymenbuster69Xx: New Eta camgirl? Show us the anal! That tail better vibrate too.

DavemanAlpha: new catgirl drop? Saint Elon delivers once again!

Pippastan: bro Elon got abducted like right after invasion day [COMMENT REMOVED]

MasterQueef: bro what if she is Elon?… you wouldn't know. Wouldn't that make you gayyyyyyyyyyy.

NobleSex: MasterQueef you say that for every new camgirl Eta we find lol, maybe they were all sweaty basement men, doesn't matter to me, they are hot now. it’s only gay if they've still got a cock.

DavemanAlpha: WOKE LOSER! 

SugarIsSweet: It's not that kind of tail!

cryptic1881: unfortunately

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Oh, hey, @xXHymenbuster69Xx! No toys on this stream... yet!

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: (watch my profile, new reveal soon!)

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Viewer count doubled in the middle of a break?

Big_Daddy: Raiding from another stream?

Manager_chan: Quick reminder of the chat rules for the newcomers: Valentine's sensitive and cute, so no explicit sex talk. Keep things PG-13 or so.

xXHymenbuster69Xx: Oh damn it’s Alex! Yooooo your videos are filthhhyyyyyy. That latest RP was fucking hot. Depraved, but hot

NobleSex: Oh sensitive huh? She’ll be sensitive from my huge gravity hammer if you know what I mean

MasterQueef: keep it pg 13, so shes that kind of Eta. I love seeing lolibot cunny ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

xXHymenbuster69Xx: dude ew, dont ruin this for me, she do be looking kinda cute and flat but not like, in a kid way! Ew! Bro sometimes I wish the fbi was still around to lock these pedos up.

MasterQueef: SHE’S A SEX ROBOT! ITS LIKE HENTAI! NOT REAL!

MasterQueef: Like damn bro you gonna shame me if I had some like, hentai loli body pillow too? 

Fredfredfred2: I just join to a background image and some serious Eta hate in chat, wtf, like they're still people, my neighbour is an Eta.

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Thanks! I'd send you pics of what I'm doing right now, but it's not approved for public release yet... 😘

Manager_chan: @MasterQueef has been banned from the chat.

Manager_chan: Warning to the rest of chat to keep things PG-13 and on-topic.

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: this is an ecchi stream, not hentai!

cryptic1881: for now... 😈

He makes sure he is sitting down and the hoodie is covering most of his thighs before he ever turns the webcam back on. And thankfully the camera angel and his desk covers most of the kneesocks. So he didn’t look… too embarrassing. But he could still feel the girly cat panties hugging his junk tightly and the bra on his chest, and that was enough to leave him very blushy.

He checks the chat to see what he missed. “EW! EW BAN HIM! Oh… you already did. Thanks.” Ick that felt gross to thank the AI, but the chat just thinks its his manager. “Also I’m NOT A GIRL! I’M A BOY! SEE THE PRONOUN TAGS ON MY PROFILE! HE SLASH HIM!”

He feels so self conscious being seen on stream like this… wearing this pink kitty hoodie and being VERY aware of what he was wearing under it. It’s not the worst thing the AI has made him wear, but he still feels pretty flustured.

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: 😍

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: He's back!

SugarIsSweet: So cute!

NobleSex: They make Eta’s in boy? Damn… I have such a confused boner right now. Are you sure? Maybe I need you to prove it by flashing.

Big_Daddy: Wow, that looks even better than I thought it would!

cryptic1881: lol, flashing wouldn't even prove anything! you need to learn about eta bulges!

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: I can teach him!

Manager_chan: @NobleSex, @cryptic1881 What did I just say, you two? Take a time out.

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Oops, sorry; I'll stop now.

Fredfredfred2: Nah sorry, I’m too straight for this. But I’m sorry you had to deal with that queef guy. Im out tho

xXHymenbuster69Xx: damn…. He cute though…. Like, mad little sister energy going on with that kitty hoodie and kneesocks. Would still… politely headpat. And nothing else. Definitely nothing involving sausage ;)

Big_Daddy: I wonder whether he's wearing the whole outfit?

SugarIsSweet: He is blushing quite a bit!

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: does that mean he is or isn't, tho???

waluigi7: damn camera angle isn't quite good enough to tell

Andrea tugs down the hoodie from the hood to show part of his chest, going low enough you can see the middle of the cat keyhole bra, the cat keyhole itself visible. “THERE I WORE IT! HAPPY NOW!?” And he pulls the hoodie all the way back up. Then he blushes even more as he realises something. “If anyone clipped that I’ll hate you forever! You better not!”

Little does Andrea know, the legendary vtuber clipper (who has branched out into clipping the irl anime girls that were Eta’s) Cooksie was there, and he clipped everything embarrassing. At least he was unbeknownst until he reveals himself to bully the cute Eta.

Cooksie: that is a price I am willing to pay. :3

This clip was definitely going on youtube later. Not even a debut stream in a saturated Eta streaming market can escape the gaze of Cooksie. He sees all. He trades streamers embarrassment for giving them a huge boost in popularity, honestly he was doing them a favour.

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: 💖

waluigi7: 👀

Big_Daddy: The clipper delurks for critical damage, haha!

xXHymenbuster69Xx: headpats intensify!

SugarIsSweet: Has he been here this whole time?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Yes.

SugarIsSweet: Well played!

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Not that this isn't cute and such, but is this still a game stream?

“Oh god it’s Cooksie! Nooooooooo. That can’t be the first thing most people see about me! It can’t!” Cooksie was where he found most of his favourite streamers. And he knew that the lewds clips definitely gave some streamers lewd reputations even if they were mostly wholesome. “They’ll all think I'm a pervert lewdtuuuuuber. I’m nottttt, it was a punishment for sweaaaaaring. I swear I’m not like that, youtube viewers, I’m not!”

He picks up the controller. “Look it’s a game stream! I’m gonna play the game! It’s not a lewd stream!”

SugarIsSweet: You don't have to stop showing off now if you don't want to, you know...

xXHymenbuster69Xx: sure, I'd watch more cuteboi posing in girly clothes. Maybe even watch a few parts of it on repeat...

amoralCompass: aww, I missed the outfit reveal?

Big_Daddy: It's fine, there was a clip.

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: at least show us the socks first? 🥺

waluigi7: +1

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: +2

“You can see I’m wearing them, you don’t get feet shots that easy. I’m onto you chat! You pervs. I’m not giving you more clipping bait. Plus the new viewers are somehow EVEN MORE degenerate.”

He unpauses the game and uses the teleporter and goes back to THE SPLIT and goes to the other path. The one with two skulls.

The fact that the stream thumbnail now includes a cute Eta girl wearing a cute cat hoodie and kneesocks, instead of the least flattering possible baggy black hoodie with Andrea trying to masc code and look human as much as possible. Gets Andrea more random people checking out the stream and lurking.

Truly, the internet runs on thirst.

The right-side path, marked with two skulls is, inconveniently, blocked by a Destructible Wall! Andrea has yet to learn how to get past Destructible Walls!

There's probably a tutorial for them lurking around somewhere, but this isn't a metroidvania; there hasn't been anything like equipment that unlocks new moves or abilities. So it ought to be possible to sequence break by figuring it out on his own...

amoralCompass: side-jump kick off the middle block

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Come on, no spoilers!

Manager_chan: Yes, no spoilers, chat! Have a time out, @amoralCompass

...or chat could casually spoil the secret after Andrea fumbles around for a minute.

“Compass is the only one I haven’t seen make degenerate comments, so they are my official favourite. At least until someone donates me the monopoly money we all have. Kidddddiiing.”

Haha, jump kicks can be done, and path can be unlocked.

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: new donation goal?

waluigi7: $50 if you kick those feet up and give us a peek?

xXHymenbuster69Xx: don't tempt me, lol

This brings Andrea to The Retrograde!

As usual, the new area starts off easy...ish, without anything more threatening than moving spike walls, which are at least an old and familiar sort of threat. Easy for The End Is Nigh isn't actually all that easy by this point in the game, until it becomes obvious that the Retrograde is the home of gimmick levels. The usual gimmick so far seems to be "it's much easier to get the loot if you skip the level on your first run, then step back and do the level backwards".

As a sidenote, the soundtrack for the game, a generally excellent series of classical music remixes which has as yet gone unmentioned, hits a high note with the remix of Hungarian Dance No. 5 used in the Retrograde.

“No, no feet donation goal, why are you all such perverts. Plus I bet most Eta’s just have the same foot design. I know I didnt customise mine. Just go to google you degens. It’ll be the same thing.” His new Eta feet are actually quite dainty, makes it hard to find mens shoes in the right size. He kind of misses his old giant feet that only New Balance had sizes big enough for. Ehhh not really though. Robot feet don’t get sore, its a clear upgrade.

He has to remember to like, keep tugging down the hoodie to keep it from riding up and showing more thigh. Because Andrea is quite wiggly while he plays, shifting around in his gamer chair as things surprise him.

If the game just lets him skip the loot… if things get too annoying in a level, to the point he has to pull out fake curses, he might just skip the loot altogether on those levels. He doubts the game needs you to have EVERY one. 

waluigi7: boo

xXxFemboyFan69xXx: it's not the same...

SugarIsSweet: Also, I want a better look at those cute cat stockings! 😸

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: You bet that most Etas have the same foot design, do you? I'll bet against you on that! We can probably get someone on who can give us the answer! What kind of stakes are you looking for? Money, services, embarrassing dares?

Manager_chan: Haha, that shouldn't be a problem, no.

The next weird thing that the Retrograde has to offer is... this weird evil-looking mass of flesh? Touching it is death, of course... but being vaguely close to it makes it start growing in your direction, with a nasty squelching sound.

Still, though the levels aren't exactly easy, they aren't that bad; all it takes is a bit of patience, a bit of timing, a bit of careful jumping to dodge random obstacles, and a bit of extra care to preserve destructible platforms that may be helpful later. Nothing so far is anywhere near as hard as what Andrea dealt with in the Wall of Sorrow and the SS Exodus, and he's making excellent time.

"Noooooope, I'm not taking any dare stakes from you Alex, you are the perviest one in the chat! Who knows what you'd make me do! Probably something super degen and niche that I've only heard rumors of. Cake farting tier stuff. and if you dont know what that is DO NOT google it. It is exactly what it sounds like. People have wierd fetishes and once you've seen it you can't scrub it out of your mind ever again."

The internet is a dangerous place, if Andrea didnt care so much about remaining himself hed want to have a LOT of memories deleted. Especially with how wild west the internet has become again now that the Yeone took most of the rules away, you see some WILD and TERRIBLE stuff in public spaces online. The millenials say it's like the 2000s again.

"I do not like the gross cancer goo mass, stuff growing towards you is some really eldritch stuff. Super gross. Being enveloped is like one of my major fears. Like that scene in crystal skull where a bad guy gets envolped by a swarm of ants? Thats my hell."

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Guilty!

xXHymenbuster69Xx: haha, probably true, lol

waluigi7: 👀

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: It doesn't have to be a kinky dare thing if you don't want, though. You could catch one of my streams sometime, or help out with some product testing I'm doing for the Gammas... or maybe even just buy a few things off my wishlist, if you want to be boring about it.

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: Yeah, Mother gets kinda creepy, but that's par for the course with Edmund; see also Time Fcuk.

SugarIsSweet: Fair warning, Val; if that's a trigger of yours, those elements definitely get worse towards the end of the game.

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Come on, it's free content! Is there anything you'd want from me for my stakes in the bet?

Retrograde continues to be mildly spooky, but not unbearably difficult; there haven't been any levels that take Andrea more than 10 tries to get the loot on so far. A weird organic variant of the sniper shows up later, but its vomit-projectiles are slower than bullets, making it more of a nuisance than a threat.

"Fine, even if a lot of Eta's are lewd, I really doubt most of them will even care about feet enough to customize it, its NOT THAT COMMON A KINK, despite what twitch chats would leave you to beleive. I bet most of them went with whatever was default shape like I did. I'll get something from your wishlist if you are right, and I'll uhhh... make a Wishlist and then you can buy something from it If I'm right." What to even put on a wishlist... food? amazon does food. Yeah snacks is a good idea. Andrea upgraded their taste receptors for a reason.

"The game is stylized enough It'll just be creepy and icky rather than like... needing to quit the game. but it if it was realistic graphics It might actually freak me out! So if anyone is in chat in a future stream that knows a certain game has that, do warn me please! I think part of it is I'm terrified of suffocating or drowning. Good thing I don't technically need to breathe anymore! I only need air to speak now."

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Woo! I've sent the request.

Big_Daddy: You probably want to avoid anything in the Alien franchise. Especially the newer VR releases, which might be extra-unfun with Yeone VR tech?

SugarIsSweet: Yeah; I wouldn't even want to watch a stream featuring a world designed by HR Giger, let alone visit one 'in-person'.

There's a couple more minutes before a reply comes back, during which Andrea clears out a couple more levels; a tight cluster of knockoff-snipers isn't much more of a nuisance than a single one was, although the extra wasted time dodging can make the creepy tumours more troublesome to avoid.

Then, more than a dozen messages are posted to chat in a fraction of a second.

D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: We have been advised that a question of part prevalence in Eta models was raised.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: Such a question is best addressed comprehensively, though additional supporting data can be made available on request.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: A brief summary was composed to clarify the issue, and is presented here.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: Begin by noticing that not all Eta models are identical.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: There are currently four primary Eta models (Analog, Handheld, Laptop, and Personal) as well as four specialty Eta models (Binary, Hybrid, Super, and Work).
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: Although three of the primary models share many similarities, notice that the distinction between the Handheld, Laptop, and Personal models extends beyond simple scale.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: The lower limb assemblies of a Personal model are on average designed to bear more than twice the weight of those of a Handheld model.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: Such joints necessarily include additional reinforcement to reliably bear that weight in expected gravitational conditions, as well as some degree of improved articulation to reliably balance the larger body design.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: Additionally, the Analog, Binary, Hybrid, Super, and Work models each were designed to fit different aesthetic criteria, requiring minor design differences to express a mode 'masculine' size ratio, to bear additional weight, or to appropriately compensate for a different centre of gravity.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: Also, a variety of optional Animal, Cosplay, and Wardrobe upgrades include structural changes to the limbs themselves, including imitation paws, built-in high heels, or 'anime-style' limbs, each of which substantially diverge from the standard design.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: Alternatively, certain requested utility upgrades have been produced which require more advanced modifications to the lower limbs, including most transformation modules, as well as certain nonstandard features such as propulsion jets.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: On a parts-produced basis, the single most common design is the template standard for Laptop models, with a prevalence of approximately 17.2793%.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: This falls short of the 50% standard, therefore "most" Eta models do not use the same foot design.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: Was this a sufficient answer to the question at hand?

"Oh come on! Template standard proves my point though. they didn't customize it! They just went with the default! obviously the different sizes have different parts, but most people obviously went with the default part! it'd be way lower than 17% if most people customized their feet. Laptop models can't be more than 30% of the Eta population. There's not THAT many lolicons." Whatever, it's only losing some money, he's mostly complaining for the sake of content and something to say.

"Unless your wishlist is full of pokemon merch and snacks, I doubt I'll get any ideas." The newer viewers were even worse than the ones who joined early!

D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: Incorrect.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: As observed, not all Etas engage in personal customization.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: In fact, 6.0888% of Etas decline to make any personal customization decisions.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: These Etas instead accept all default options.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: Laptop is the default Eta model.
D286-89575-0608550-R188E122D604P406: As a result, approximately 32.0814% of Etas are currently Laptop models.

SugarIsSweet: Wait, 6% of people who become Etas don't make any decisions? Why not?

LP_Outside_Any%_Glitchless: That is kind of weird, yeah; I could see people keeping the default settings on a Windows install or something, but not with my own body?

Alex_Eta_2ndGen: Haha, no; my wishlist has way more interesting things in it than that!

Big_Daddy: Hang on, I also want to know about why people would just accept all the default settings?

Manager_chan: Sorry, I think that's all the time our Delta guest has for us today!