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A Good Relationship Wouldn't NEED Error-Handling Protocols, All Of This Is Happening Because You Bore Him, All Of This Is Happening Because You Didn't Fuck Her Hard Enough, Ambiguity Can Be Resolved Later In Your Favor, A "Mistake" Is A Choice, An Error In Your Predictive Model Of Them Is Their Fault, Any Day You Don't Go To A New Extreme Is Wasted, Any Object Can Be A Weapon, Any Sentence Can Be A Pretext, Are You Going To Let Her Get Away With That?, Ask Your Allies To Tell You That You Did The Right Thing, Assume The Prior Existence Of A Perfect Communication Channel, Attractiveness Is Observer-Independent, Believe That Truth Is Subjective, Be Skeptical. Bitches Love Skepticism., Better To Have Loved And Lost Than Loved And Won, Bottle Up Your Feelings Until They Explode, Burn The Evidence, Can You See Her Right Now? No? She's Fucking Someone., Cheating Is Bad, You're Not Bad, Therefore It Wasn't Cheating, Cheating Is More Fun Than Polyamory, Cherish Your Resentment, Communication Is Everyone Else's Job, Communication Is Everyone's Problem, Compare Her To Your Imagination!, Compare Your Lovers, Confront Her The Moment She Walks In The Door, Confront Him The Moment He Walks In The Door, Crying Is A Personal Attack, Cry Until He Chases You, Cry Until He Gets It, Decide the Perfect Gift and Wait to See if You Get It, Decode Their Subtle Hints, Demand Their Respect, Deny Everything, Destroy Her Physical Possessions, Disagreement is Invalidation, Distract Her With Sex, Do It Under Time Pressure, Don't Ask; You Already Know, Don't Be The Last To Spread Lies, Don't Let Her Suffer Better Than You, Double Down Until They Yield, Eschew Agency, Eye Contact Is Cheating, Fact Is, There's A Lot Of Conspiracies Around Here, Fear Is The Path That Leads To Interesting Men, Fear Leads To Anger, Anger Leads To Hate, Hate Leads To Sex, Force The Issue, Force Yourself To Please Him And Expect Him To Pay It Back, Get Giddy, Scrub, Give Him Everything You Are, And He'll Owe You All He Has, Giving Up Now Means It Was All A Waste, Has He Bothered To Hurt You Today?, Have You Tried Turning Him Off And Turning Him On Again?, He'd Get Hard If He Loved You, He Has To Love Every Single Part Of You, He'll Love You If You're Perfect, He Promised It When He Kissed You, He Should Be Better Than You (But He's Not), He Should Just Know, He's Not Saying It Like He Means It, He's Probably Just Tolerating You For The Sex, His Lack Of Horniness Is Bayesian Evidence He's Been Fucking Other Women, Hold Your Breath and Tense Everything, How Dare He Breathe Like That, How Is This Mess YOUR Responsibility, Idealize Love, "I Did It For YOU" Is An Absolute Defense, If He Loved You He'd Read Your Mind, If He Loved You, Other Women Wouldn't Be Attracted To Him, If He Loves You, He'll Suffer For You, If In Doubt, Assume Her Orgasm Was Faked, If It Ends It Was Never Good, If She Trusted You She Wouldn't Try To Verify You, If She Wanted You To Know, She'd Have Said So, If There Was A Reason For It, She Can't Be Hurt By It, If You Forgive Him, You Won't Be Able To Lord It Over Him Anymore, If You Get Away With It, It Was The Right Thing To Do, If You Have To Ask, It Won't Count, If You're Not In Denial About Any Aspect Of Your Sexuality You Will Be Boring In Life And In Bed, If You're Not Sure Who The Sucker In The Relationship Is, It's You, If You Were Virtuous, You Could Handle It, And You're Virtuous, Invalidate Her Terror, It Means What You Want It To Mean, It's Because She's A Woman, It's His Job To Make You Happy, It's Not Cheating If They Hurt Your Feelings First, It's Not Over Until Blame Has Been Assigned, It's Not Your Fault If Your Feelings Made You Do It, It's Not Your Fault, So It Must Be Theirs, It's Not Your Fault. You Were Upset., It's Time For A Distracting Pillow Fight, It Takes Two Votes To Break Up The Relationship, Keep Quiet And Make A List Of Everything You'll Say When The Relationship Ends, Keep Sex Interesting With ~Intermittent~ ~Reinforcement~, Laugh At His Commands, Leaving Is Losing, Legible Consent Ruins Everything, Let Her Know That You Could Do Better, Lie And Say You Know It Was Your Own Fault, Live With The Quiet Dread, Losing This Argument? Try A Different One, Love Means Her Feelings Are Your Feelings, Love Means You Can't Be Wrong, Love Without Limits Or Boundaries, Make Him Fight For You, Make Him Lie, Make Sure You Notice All The Little Things YOU Do For HIM, Make Sure You're The Only One She Has, Make Them Earn Your Respect, Make Them Feel Your Pain, Making Enough Rules Will Prevent All Future Hurt, Never Explain, Never Apologize, And Never Provide Context, Never Lose Sight Of How Everything SHOULD Be, Never Say Out Loud What They're Being Punished For, Never Stop And Think, Nobody Ever Died Of Being Too Possessive, N̶o̶ ̶P̶r̶e̶s̶s̶u̶r̶e̶ Yes Pressure!, No Slight Is Minor, Not Crying Means They Don't Care, Nothing Good Will Happen If You Confront Your Doubts, Now He Owes You, No Woman Can Resist The Sight Of A Superior Man Crushing Her Current Boyfriend, Obey Your Instincts, Overcommunicating Is The Worst Outcome, Pick A Fight With The Boyfriend You Have, Not The Boyfriend You Want, Praise Loses Effectiveness If You Overuse It. Even Once Is Probably Too Often., Predicting You Correctly Is An INSULT, Pretend It's Perfect, Pretend To Be Happy, Pretend To Believe Her, Prove How Much You Love Her, Read Between The Lines, Then Read Between Those Lines., Refuse Arbitration, Reminder: Safewords Are Not Permitted Within The Facility, Remind Her Of Her Shortcomings, Resolve It In Your Social Circle Before He Knows There's A Fight, Rule By Fear, Save Time By Assuming The Worst, Saying It Out Loud Would Ruin It, Say It In CODE, Say It LOUDER Until They UNDERSTAND, Scream Externally, See If He Has What It Takes To Tame You, Seek Novelty, Self-Control Is For The Weak, Self-Forgiveness Is More Important Than Other-Forgiveness, Sex Fixes Everything, Sex Is Love, Sex Is Shameful. Terribly, Terribly Shameful., She Doesn't Have A Headache, She Got Upset. That Proves She's Wrong., She'll Be Sad If You Leave Now. Alienate Her First!, She'll Probably Change If You Just Stay With Her, She's Not REALLY Sorry, She Wouldn't Make Eye Contact Unless She Wanted Him To Fuck Her, Show Him Something's Wrong With A ~Broken~ ~Promise~, Silence The Witnesses, Sleep Is Your Last Priority, Smile Until She Forgets Your Misdeeds, Solve Everything At Once, Someday You'll Find Someone Who's Not Broken, Stick Your Dick In Crazy, Stop! Before You Ask That Question, Consider: What Are You Afraid They Might Say? Would You Rather Not Be Sure Than Hear Them Say It?, Suggesting You Have Other Options Is A Transparent Attempt To Lay Blame, Surrender Is Sexual: Don't Admit He's Right Unless You Want To Fuck, Take Him Back. That Was Finally The Last Time., Talk Late At Night On An Empty Stomach, Tell Her What Her Feelings Are, Test ALL Of His Commitments, The Best Time To Fake An Orgasm Is Right Before The Sex Gets Boring, The Common Denominator In All Of Your Relationships Is Your Terrible Partners, The Dominant Is Always Right, The Good Is The Enemy Of The Perfect, There Can Only Be One Prettiest Girl In The Universe, And He Should Think It's You, There Has To Be A Way Out. No, Not That Way, Some Other Way Out., There's An Amount Of Pain That Excuses Anything, And That's How Much Pain You Need To Be In, There's Only One Way To See It, The Sweetest Feeling Is That Of Revenge, The Truth Is Inside You. Not Her, You., The Victory Condition Is Proving She Did At Least One Thing Wrong, They Can't Have Really Meant That, They Knew What You Meant, They Should've Known Better Than To Take You Literally, Things Are Fine The Way They Are, This Complicated Problem Will Undoubtedly Take Care Of Itself, This Partner Is Broken. Get A New One., To Apologize Is To Concede Guilt And Lose, Tolerate Her For The Sex, True Love Deserves A True Stalker, True Love Doesn't Come With Conditions Attached, True Love Means No Secrets, True Love Wouldn't Argue, Understanding Is Condoning, Updating To Someone Else's Opinion Is A Trade; Only Do It If It's Clear You'll Be Paid Back, Validate Her Feelings Of Stupidity, Wait Until Your Breakup And THEN Admit Everything You Were Wrong About, Wake Up In The Morning And CHOOSE HYSTERIA, Watch Her Closely In Case She Makes A Mistake, Wetness Correlates Perfectly With Female Arousal, Whatever Would Be Most Convenient For Your Argument Is What Really Happened, What Matters Is Not What He Meant, It's What He COULD Have Meant, What You Refuse To Admit Can't Hurt You, When In Doubt, Make New Enemies, When It Ends, Burn The Memories, Who Are You To Dispute Your Own Self-Concept?, Whoever Controls The Past Controls The Future, Whoever Had The Worst Time Is Right (That's You!), Why Question Yourself When You Could Question Others, Why Should Anyone Have Nice Things You Don't Have?, Why Should YOU Calm Down, Why Should YOU Have To Explain It?, Why Should You Have To EXPLAIN It?, Why Try To Change Anything When You Could Be A MARTYR, Why Would There Be A Rumor If It Wasn't True?, Winning Is Everything, Withhold Affection, Wouldn't It Be Awful If They Forgot That One Point You Scored?, Yelling Fixes Everything, You Are Entitled To His Thoughts, YOU Are The Judge Of Who's Winning, You Can Do Better Than Your Current Relationships, You Can Make Better Friends But You Can't Get Back Your PRIDE, You Can't Know What She Feels Like Inside, Until You Penetrate Her, You Can't Lose If You Never Concede, You Deserve Nothing Less Than Perfection, You Didn't Make It Adversarial, They Did, You Didn't Need That Friendship Anyways, You'll Make It Up To Her Afterwards, You May Not Care About Status Games, But Status Games Care About You, You Own What You Fuck, You're Not The One Who Started It, You're Not The Prettiest But He Should Believe It, Your Friends Wouldn't Be Supportive If You Weren't Right, Your Sex Drive Is Her Responsibility, You Shouldn't Have To Say It, You've Been Through A Lot Together, Too Much To Tally Specifically, But You're Pretty Sure The Net Balance Is Such That's Up To Her To Make The First Concession, You Won't Need To Feel Guilty About Being Mad At Them, If You Can Get Them Mad At You |
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