"Do you want - Soph, can you drive right now -?"
Tamara doesn't respond to their logistical questions. She finishes collecting her dust into the jar Soph gave her. She screws the cap on carefully, carefully. Still kneeling, looking down, she says quietly, brokenly, "Tell me you killed him."
"He's dead. Burned up. I stayed to make sure he didn't put himself out."
"Good." She doesn't say anything else. She's holding herself wrong, somehow, all stiffness and awkward and rigid angles. As though she might shatter at any second.
Tamara nods jerkily, and manages to haul herself to her feet despite her unsteadiness. She wraps her jar carefully in her arms and- waits. Silently, with noiseless tears running down her cheeks.
Bella puts a hand on her elbow and leads Tamara to her own car. "Let me have the keys, I'll drive."
my baby, my baby
For the remainder of the car ride, Tamara tries futilely to dry her face, and holds tight to the container in her lap. Every so often she shudders, carefully readjusts it, and then shrinks back into herself.
"Do you want me to stay with you?" she asks softly.
My baby, my baby
"Thank you, but- no, I- I have to- say goodbye," she manages finally.
"Okay. Call if you need anything. I'm so, so sorry I didn't find him in time."
And then she starts crying again, and the rest of her words get lost.
That wasn't what Bella meant, but she's not going to argue the point. She goes around the car and opens Tamara's door for her and sees her inside. And then she jogs home.