"Sure. Hi everybody with funky hair colors and Additional Elves, I'm Miranda, Minor's wife."

"Miranda is brilliant and did a lot of the work that made killing Melkor possible and colorful hair me should put out a personal ad for one of her when he gets home."

"Noted."

"Mes probably don't read personals ads!"

"You could put up a summary of the extradimensional adventure and then say 'if you find the whole concept of mindreading deeply objectionable and think that you should probably be put in charge of a planet and really want to learn magic and think you're probably the best person in the world then it is possible you are an alternate universe version of a magic alien and we should get drinks (yours will be non-alcoholic)' and if she exists she'd probably write you."

"I love you."

"But," says Pink Peka, "what if there's a her and she's red."

"I can cover Miolee."

"What, are there just none left who haven't done that thing?"

"There are a couple holdouts but not many - we're not letting them have the starships - and I couldn't marry her without paying for her to go through Miolee even if I were okay with that it's still super illegal."

"I want to push through an amnesty on the pollution laws at some point - if you were secretly red and snuck out or something, just get decontaminated and we won't pursue it - right now people in that position are disincentivized to go to Miolee because if people figure it out then in principle they could be arrested for all the violations leading up to that point. And I don't want arrests, I just want an entirely clean populace."

"What is the matter with you people."

"It's honestly really disturbing!"

Sigh. "Let's just - not -"

His husband, who is holding their son, leans over and kisses him.

The room goes totally silent.

" - hmm?"

"Uh, what the fuck."

" - this time I literally do not know what the complaint is -"

"Oh yeah that Elves are stupid about gay people so you can be self-righteous right back at 'em, have a contest," says Pink Peka.

"I - are the rest of you not -"

"No. You can have whatever kind of private life you want but - in private, there are children around -"

"Rebecca isn't bi," says Grey Peka.

"I'm not what?"

"You don't wanna hook up with us! We would except for the thing," says Pink Peka.