View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
Bella wakes up in a house she's never seen before that has to violate six building codes and an air quality regulation. There's furniture - abandoned, crappy furniture - but she's on the floor in the plaster dust among shards of glass that miraculously haven't cut her. She's got her cross on her neck but no crossbow, no stakes, and she feels like she's moving through gelatin. She's not sure if she could stand - she used to be able to stand! - let alone walk, let alone kick a vampire in the chin.
Oh, fuck, what happened, the last thing she remembers is -
- her birthday magic teacher clearly not being Giles's present after all, stupid, stupid -
- she doesn't seem injured. There's a tender spot in her arm but no bruise, just - is that a needle mark. Oh, powers that be fried on a stick.
She shuffles on her knees over to the door, slowly, slowly, sneezing. She tries the knob. It doesn't work - she thinks that's a lock and not her kittenish weakness. Well, of fucking course, you don't dump incapacitated girls in houses and leave the door open, but she had to try. She tries a window. It is also locked, what the fuck kind of house locks from the outside like this, and painted shut to boot. She could punch right through the glass if -
She can't punch through the glass.
Maybe among the debris on this floor is something she can improvise into a lockpick. She's acquainted with the theory, just because she keeps having to break doors down -
+ Show First Post
cross_and_bow
cross_and_bow
"Right. Arthur Mallory, I'm performing a citizen's arrest, slightly out of order. Stay put and don't try anything until the cops show up." She stops kneeing his sciatic nerve, isn't that nice of her?
Arthur Mallory growls.
"Is there some Watcher protocol for getting around legalities that he may have been hoping to lean on?" Bella asks Giles.
Arthur Mallory growls.
"Is there some Watcher protocol for getting around legalities that he may have been hoping to lean on?" Bella asks Giles.
jellyinthemix
"Not a protocol so much as a longstanding tradition of quiet bribery. I doubt it will stand up to the current circumstances."
He pauses, then adds, "Don't you worry, Arthur. She doesn't seem at all inclined to feed you to a vampire."
He pauses, then adds, "Don't you worry, Arthur. She doesn't seem at all inclined to feed you to a vampire."
cross_and_bow
"I mean, I dunno, Sherlock, did you get enough dinner?" She isn't serious. Quite.
cross_and_bow
"So behave," Bella tells Arthur Mallory. "I would only be mildly embarrassed to explain a bite mark on your person to my dad."
Growl, goeth Arthur Mallory.
Growl, goeth Arthur Mallory.
jellyinthemix
"Although it's arguably no more than he deserves, I must advise against feeding Arthur to a vampire," says Giles.
cross_and_bow
"You're probably right," sighs Bella theatrically. "Anyway. Is my working hypothesis that this was some kind of fucked-up test about right?"
jellyinthemix
"Unfortunately, yes. I was under the impression that it had been discontinued centuries ago, but it seems I was wrong."
jellyinthemix
"I'm not familiar with the details, but I predict the Council will not be happy with this outcome even if it does fall into some sort of loophole. How did you manage to, er, ally with the vampire...?"
cross_and_bow
"Oh, Mr. Mallory here overdosed me. I could barely twitch when I came around and he located me. So, a bit lacking in options, I engaged him in charming conversation. I'm very charming, Giles, did you notice? And he is an unusually nice vampire."
cross_and_bow
"And, I mean, as charitably as I can possibly interpret the entire mess, it was a test of some combination of my wit and social skills, since my superpowers were inoperative. I think I passed with flying colors."
cross_and_bow
"A lot of it was luck in the choice of vampire. And timing. If I'd woken up a minute later or him a minute sooner and he was anybody else, I'd be dead - or possibly left there as unappetizingly drugged while whoever it was considered rampaging through Sunnydale and then decided to go somewhere less cross-infested. If we'd woken up at the same time but he wasn't such a friendly vampire there might likewise have been a problem. But this is the test Mr. Mallory set me. So."
Mr. Mallory is apparently exercising his right to remain silent while his face is mushed into the carpet.
Mr. Mallory is apparently exercising his right to remain silent while his face is mushed into the carpet.
cross_and_bow
"And I'm glad you didn't help kidnap me. But I'm a little annoyed that you didn't actually get me a magic teacher for my birthday."
cross_and_bow
"Books it is."
Mallory twitches. Bella tightens her grip. He stops twitching.
Eventually, Charlie shows up, cuffs and disarms the arrestee, and carts him off.
Mallory twitches. Bella tightens her grip. He stops twitching.
Eventually, Charlie shows up, cuffs and disarms the arrestee, and carts him off.
eversomuchfun
"I don't technically have anywhere to sleep," remarks Sherlock. "Do you suppose I can get away with taking this hotel room for the night?"
cross_and_bow
"Probably. They'll charge him either way. But you might be in a bind when they try to kick you out during the day tomorrow."