"I don't know, I haven't thought about it. And somehow I doubt it's ever going to come up."

She has gotten all of the crystals she's likely to need. She should probably bid him farewell and go do - something.

.... But this banter is fun. She sits on a crate and props her head up with an arm to look at him wryly.

"How can you be so certain? You've only met the one. There might be a legion of hidden Sith Lords somewhere that you'd find more endearing than I."

"From the way you describe Sith Lords..."

"I could be grievously misrepresenting all of them, to cement my status as your favorite."

"My favourite Sith Lord would never do a thing like that."

"Ah, but do you think that because I'm your favorite, or am I your favorite because you think I wouldn't?"

He laughs. "If you did a thing like that I would definitely have to reconsider your status as my favourite!"

"So if I have, my time is up when you eventually figure it out, and until then, I am living a desperate lie on borrowed time."

"But you haven't."

"But I haven't."

He giggles.

He has such an endearing smile.

Oh, it's a terrible idea to keep feeding this. Yes it's fun, yes he's charming, yes she likes him, but she's a Sith Lord. What was her earlier speech to Cordelia and Gregor about Sith being dangerous for loved ones?

(But she's in another galaxy, isn't she, and maybe no one could follow her here at all, and then the only danger is her, and she knows she's only dangerous when she means to be, which is hardly ever -)

And she's the only person in the galaxy that can teach him how to use the Force, and what a catch twenty two that is. If she does teach him, she'll be in a position of authority, and any moves she makes on him would be - well, comparable to making moves on someone in her fleet, or like any Sith Imperial citizen. And if she doesn't, she's forever holding something he can't have over his head, and what kind of basis for a relationship is that?

(There's probably a way to make it work anyway, surely it doesn't all just have to be off of the table forever, she can be responsible -)

Saying that she will be good and responsible when she doesn't know for sure is exactly how she stops being both of those things.

And this is not where she wants to have this debate with herself.

"Right," she says, hopping off of the crate with a cheer that's only gone slightly stale. "As charming as this banter is, I do unfortunately have responsibilities. And fortunately for everyone I take them seriously."

"Of course."

Mmmmm, no, do not drag the pretty-eyed Barrayaran to some place in the realm of 'more comfortable' by the collar of his shirt, that is a bad plan.

"Is there anything you need of me before I go?"

"Nope. Good luck with your project."

"Thank you. Good luck with - whatever sort of thing caused the shattered arm, try not to let it happen again."

"Thank you, I will!"

"Good."

And then away she goes, to return to the manor.

First off: work. She has work that needs doing and before she meditates on subjects that can keep for a little while she's going to take care of everything that probably can't. Envee has come up with more upgrades to the communication systems, excellent, good. Here are the reports of what's being used of the fleet resources that she asked for, they're slightly above Sith Imperial Standard for a number of these because Callida has decided to treat her people nicer than Sith Imperial Standard and that's okay she knew this would happen this is all within reasonable bounds -

- and eventually she is free of that.

And she says, 'Excuse me I'm going to meditate,' and goes and does that.

Okay, so. All of her cards on the table, no shying away from the truth or mincing words or whatever else she might be tempted to do.

Miles Vorkosigan is unfairly hot and if she doesn't have a crush on him already she'll definitely acquire one if she's near him for long enough in the future. She could maybe manage to avoid him until her gooey feelings fade to something less insistent, but the thought doesn't appeal. Putting her own desire for some kind of romantic companionship on hold for eternity is - well, it's looking less viable. It was doable (if a bit frustrating) when she was in the Sith Empire and she had the weight of 'No is not in the vocabulary for non-Sith to a Sith Lord' to lean on, but now she's somewhere without that unfortunate bit of cultural conditioning. Now she's somewhere that it's not treated casually, but she can have a conversation with someone who can sincerely say 'My favorite Sith Lord would never do a thing like that.' Where people aren't immediately afraid of what she might do and aren't automatically her subordinates or beneath her in social status.

If she pisses these people off by being evil, they will blast her and her fleet out of the sky. This is an immense comfort to her. It means she can relax a little. Not completely, but a little. Enough that maybe she can let herself fall in love.

So just because she shouldn't have herself romantically in stasis doesn't mean she should go for Miles in particular. He is very charming, but also, he's Force sensitive and that means he comes with extra baggage. Extra baggage it might definitely be worth having (If she had him trained properly and a Sith Lord showed up to try to kill him he could fend for himself, for example) but not necessarily. It would heighten the stakes of the both of them, if they're both Force sensitive, and probably their children too, since they'd be highly likely to be the same. That's - well. Her stakes are already kind of high, maybe it's not what she needs. More importantly, she would still have to actually be the one to teach him, which could make whatever relationship they have slightly sketchy. She has been painfully (annoyingly, frustratingly) careful about not abusing her authority as a Sith, she is not going to let herself slide just because the direction of the sketch would change a bit. Teacher-student relationships can be pretty sketchy, too.

There are some ways around that, but she's over-analyzing something that takes two without the other member, and there's really only so far she can go without tying her own head into an annoying set of knots. She'd - need to just be a damn adult and have a conversation, if she thinks it's worth maybe pursuing. She can be a damn adult and have a conversation.

But if she has that conversation, that starts something she might not be able (or want) to stop. And she thinks she has enough things up in the air right now without adding relationship drama into the mix. Miles (if he's even single, which she doesn't know) will still be there after she talks to Occlus and gets a better picture of what the situation's like in her galaxy. And then if she wants to do anything about it then, she can, and it will be by talking to him like a damn adult instead of skulking around weaving webs of what is and is not okay for him without any outside input.

That seems to take care of most of that. She suspects it'll be easier to deal with her attraction now that it's part of a plan, instead of nebulously floating around in her head, getting in her way.

She finishes some more routine mental cleanup, and then she gets up and goes back to work.

Does Barrayar need her actually present on the planet for anything else? Or is she free to return to her fleet to begin preparations for contacting Occlus?

She is absolutely free to return to her fleet!

She can have a pleasant going away dinner with the Vorkosigans and maybe the Emperor before she does that, if they want to do that. But yes, she would like to return to her fleet, she's got work to do.

The Emperor can't make it, and Aral's out of town again, but Cordelia would love to have a pleasant going away dinner with Callida and Miles.

They can have that, then. Any guests they'd like her to bring? A lot of her people will be coming with her when she returns to her fleet. Not all of them, but most.

Oh, if she'd like to bring one or two other guests, she's welcome to do so. Perhaps Envee?

Envee would be delighted to come! .... Though she doesn't eat food. They can bring a battery pack to symbolically charge her so it's not weird? No, no, that just seems silly.

Anyway, here they both are.