"I d- how would I -"

He sits down and puts his head in his hands. "I don't know. If I knew I'd be doing that instead of this. I - look, Minor didn't want to hurt you, he's fucking miserable over it, he'd have sat there gagged and terrified and miserable for weeks if it'd only been his own life at stake - 

- you could just go home?"

"Please?"

"I don't mean to Fairyland, that fixes none of my problems. I mean you could just go home to Vienna and go about your life like you didn't kidnap a teenager in the middle of an emergency and then refuse opportunity after opportunity to stop kidnapping him." 

"I thought my wife was - there's escort laws -"

"How often do people check if people they know are suddenly and inexplicably a fairy though."

"I don't know."

"So if you want we can go downstairs and walk out the front door and you're back home, and we clean up the body and I don't care if you tell your wife and I don't care if Austria mails me citations for not accompanying a daeva of mine, what I care about is that two people have a shitty and traumatizing afternoon instead of having permanently ruined lives. Do you see what I mean? Because if you ruin Minor's life I will absolutely unambiguously without any regrets ruin yours but I can at least acknowledge that that's worse than if I don't have to do it."

"I - think I follow -"

"So go home and don't try to get him circled and then I have nothing to be pissed off at you for."

"If - if my wife already -"

"Then that's not your fault but because of magic timefuckery it's only been like twenty seconds back home since you died so maybe we can spare her the experience."

"- okay."

"You can take me to Vienna and promise not to kidnap my little brother or ruin his life and in exchange I will give you this." He hands him a miniature dragon; it bites. "Deal?"

"Ow!"

...the fairy looks at the model dragon and at Theodore and says softly, "Deal."

Downstairs they go.

"Is that -?"

"I figured you guys would be moralizing or moping or making out or some combination thereof and so if anybody wanted to just suggest sorting the whole thing out it'd hafta be me." He gestures at the door.

"What's the arrangement -?"

"Uh, family is happily reunited and does not engage in further kidnappings or arrange for any children to serve a life sentence in Ganymede over this one?"

"...So, you're not going to press charges?" Cam asks the fairy.

The fairy shakes his head meekly.

"...okay. Good. Uh, nicely done."