She passes the phone to Urahara and resumes pacing. "Okay what about arties? Artifacts are always a good bet. What was that plotrock bestie was always going on about? The hogyo-whatsis? The hoagy? Kinda reality-warping just a bit, can be used to cheat at transformations, important macguffin, was that what they plan to use to execute Rukia or am I mixing it up?, ink and salt what was it she was trying to shock me with about it, I loved the reality-warping but one reality-warping rock isn't enough to make her rant... one? tw—"

She turns and locks eyes with Urahara suddenly. "You made a second one. Eventually, sometime late-game, Aizen figures that out, steals it, combines it with the original, and uses the result to ascend and replace the divine asshole with his own assholishness."

"Oh, an excellent idea. Aizen is smart enough I wouldn't bet against him being able skip out a bit ahead of human technology if he works at it, and there's nothing that would prevent him from recruiting someone more specialized, but there's inherent differences between artisanal designs of a genius and the work of a team of iterating engineers. I'll have to actually look this over to make sure this is what you say it is, but I'm not convinced he could manage to fool me at all and it would definitely involve tipping his hand to do it. I assume it's rather fragile, but are there things other than the obvious that would break it in ways it would take me a while to get working again?"

"The Hōgyoku, on the other hand, is a more worrying sign. Aizen knows full well I have one, and him getting his hands on it is practically the worst case scenario. Do you remember anything else about how he managed it?"

"The smartphone is fragile against the usual things that would affect delicate technology, although this model is moderately water resistant. I can't guarantee that that will persist if you disassemble it, though. There is data on it that's particularly important to us, more than the device itself, so if you can preserve that for us we won't object to losing the device itself. As far as the Hōgyoku, I have no idea. I didn't watch far enough into the series to see that myself, just heard about it from my friend ranting about the events. I... I'm reaching the limits of things I know about this world. I really wish there was more — wait fuck did you hide your Hōgyoku in Rukia?"

"Don't you Americans have a saying about this? A magician never reveals his secrets."

She snickers.

"Yep, you did. I think my friend said something about that, and as cute as this is it doesn't throw me off that far." She rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but smiles just a bit. "Fun. Well, if it turns out we have useful spirit talents, we certainly like your side better than fucking Aizen's, assuming you can trust us. I'm out of shiny secrets I haven't already referenced, though. What d'you say, Urahara-san? Have we earned getting our own individual bodies that suck less than this frustratingly masculine one?"

"Well, I should probably go about confirming your device really is from the future before I get sucked into a project, seeing as I am occasionally a responsible person. If that comes out like I expect it to and my verification of your story starts to match? Then yes, I do believe I owe you lot a thank you."

"With that being said... how much do you know about Gigai? Because when I said you had a lot of work ahead of you, I wasn't kidding~!"

She smiles gratefully at him and lets out a relieved sigh. "I don't know nearly enough. Assume it's the basic bullshit that would show up on screen in the first two seasons of a shonen anime following Ichigo, and half-remembered at that. Eager to learn, though."

"Oh, excellent; that means you probably don't have to unlearn as many of the things that everyone thinks they know. Indulge an old coot for a minute and put your brain to work on the problem; why does a soul need a gigai in the first place?"

She's getting an abbreviated lesson in metaphysics from Kisuke Urahara. Her life has taken a turn for the awesome.

"Let's see... very first guess says something to do with souls not being able to interact with mortal world crap without a physical body. Second guess is that spending too much time as an unattached soul in a non-spiritual realm may not be good for you."

"Good thoughts both. The first one is true to an extent, but it's nothing that someone with spiritual pressure couldn't overcome. It's just harder to interact with physical objects without a body, not impossible, and almost anyone can do it at least a little if they work at it enough. Likewise with talking to people; sure, you mostly couldn't talk to the living, but most people have died and even with those who haven't yet it's just a matter of waiting. No, it's the other one that's the kicker, and the answer is hollows.

"The trite explanation is that they'll eat you, and while a gigai isn't quite as good as being alive on that score it still means leaking much less reiryoku all over the place, bringing you from an all-eat buffet advertisement to a snack they have to work for. The better answer is that you're leaking reishi, not just reiryoku, and if you spend long enough in the mortal world as a just spirit there's only really one thing that lets you keep up with the loss. But that just raises further questions, doesn't it? If those are the biggest problems with sticking around after you die, and a gigai helps deal with both of them, why does anyone actually die without their soul being destroyed?"

She facepalms just a little. "Can't believe I forgot about hollows. As for dying... maybe gigai aren't generally available due to being expensive/complicated, and maybe synchronizing a generic body to match your soul takes a bunch of effort?"

"Those are issues, especially if you're like Mayuri and just fundamentally aren't as talented as I am. You can make a bad gigai very cheaply; even many kinds of animal corpses can work on a temporary basis with the right treatment, and when you've got the infrastructure in place it's entirely possible for an organization like soul society to crank them out. But if you want to beat a living human body already attuned to your soul as a container? Even I need years of work to pull that off. Without that, you're still leaking at least a little, and the average human simply doesn't have enough spiritual power to keep up with that indefinitely. I could house the lot of you together in one gigai without a problem, since together you have almost thrice as much as the average person and your souls are used to supporting each other. But if you want long term independent manifestation? Well, I foresee quite a bit of training in your future~"

She grins and arches an eyebrow. "And I assume that training has some overlap with what it takes to not be useless in the ongoing mess? One body that at least suits us better than this," she gestures indicatively at the current masculine mess, "would definitely be an upgrade, but being able to hold each other in our arms is the ultimate goal. And if training for that leaves us better able to fend off the various assholes that siding with Ichigo and you will surely piss off, so much the better."

"What have I done to earn this kind of distrust from you? I'm just your average shady shopkeeper who never explains any of their plans and always seems to know more than they're advertising. Does this look like the face of a liar?"

He shakes his head.

"That would be a happy outcome, from my perspective, but if your story checks out and you decide what you really need is a place to hide I'd still see what I can arrange. As you probably know my situation isn't so secure that I'd turn down willing allies, but I've never been one to like asking for help."

She giggles. "No, not a liar, just a man who knows better than turn away an incorrigible meddler who hopes to become useful when she asks nicely to get involved in his shadow war."

"Well, I can't deny that particular charge. I'll do my due diligence on your device, probably learn a few fascinating things from the engineering they did to solve the various inherent difficulties involved, and hopefully come out having quieted my niggling doubts about you being a trick. In the mean time, you're welcome to stick around as long as you don't try to bypass any of the barriers or take advantage of your new opportunity for tourism and explore the town as you prefer. Don't try to talk Jinta into letting you make off with too much of the candy, though, since I'm still trying to make a profit here!"

She shakes her head. "As tolerant as people have been of our linguistic difficulties, I'd rather not throw myself on too many people's mercy unnecessarily. No yen, don't speak the language, and nowhere to go but here. Is there anything useful a dimensionally-displaced girl with the skills of a mechanic could be doing around here?"

"I can't say I have a lot of need for a mechanic; I mostly just fix things myself whenever they get broken, so everything should be functioning right now. If you're looking for employment, though, I do happen to be a business owner!"

"Well, that sounds pretty great. If I'm going to function in this country I need local currency, and working for you sounds like a decent way to earn a place to stay, and staying near you is a great way to learn more about how everything else works and become more useful than grunt labor or fighting people. Which is honestly a major goal, despite how fun as fights can be."

"Excellent! Jinta! Ururu!"

"Yes, Urahara-san?"

"We've got a new employee! Would you two mind showing them the ropes while I go do some research?"

"Heh, easy. We can do that no problem!"