And so she begins again.

I think... If I spend too much time worrying over what powers could potentially do things I don't like with The Crazy Train I'm just going to talk myself out of taking it by thinking of things that probably won't happen. For example I could see an interpretation where The Crazy Train could change what people see as my name under What's In A Name to something I don't like. I can't really think of a reason for it to do that though.

I think... for The Crazy Train it isn't as much about making a list of powers it does and doesn't effect. It's more about deciding if I'm okay with a lot of my powers in general being a little inconsistent. Does that sound right to you? I guess I could still make the list.

Yes, I think "am I okay with a lot of my powers in general being a little inconsistent?" is a question that gets at the core of the drawback more closely than making a list would, but if the list helps you think about that question I don't think it's a bad idea to make one.

And... there's also the question of, what would the narrative do? Would the story you want to live be a story that would change your name against your will?

I don't think so. I don't have a lot of personal experience having a name I don't want being pushed on me but I think I already understand viscerally why that would be awful. The reminder to ask myself what the story would do is also helpful.

She takes a look at the category totals she has.

Costs
+ 51
✓ 99
- 114
? 159

That's actually pretty reasonable. Well including everything in - and all the ? powers isn't but even without any drawbacks she can easily get all the powers she deeply wants. And there are drawbacks she definitely wanted to take.

I understand if the answer is no but could you total up the drawbacks I said I actively wanted? I think the rest of them are too dependant on decisions I haven't made yet to trust as categories. I guess maybe I should just put those as + tier to match the powers. I can go through and do that if it makes it easier for you.

I'm glad I can help! ♡ If it's not too much trouble, I'd appreciate you marking the drawbacks you're interested in just so I can be sure I'm not misinterpreting what you've said about how much you wanted them. I'll update the totals as you do.

Meanwhile, I'm still thinking about the powers you've asked for, and that Bonus Style Points variant is turning out just as tricky as I expected. I made an attempt at building it and somehow this is what I ended up with instead...

Name: More Magic - Cost: 5 ☐
(Requires Unleash The Magic and You Can Teach Better)
Abilities you pick up through Unleash The Magic can be passed on to others. Unique per-person abilities from Snowglobe may be passed on either as a direct mirror of your own unique ability, or by sparking a unique ability in the recipient. The deeper your personal connection to the recipient, the easier it is for you to pass on abilities to them and the more potent the results will be.

It doesn't really do much of what you were asking for, but I thought I'd show it to you anyway since it seems relevant to a life focused on working with others.

I'll do the marking yeah.

And that's interesting. I agree that it's not quite what I meant but being able to bring more people with in exploring new ways to be makes it seem less scary.

She gives it a question mark.

As for drawbacks she's still so unsure about most of them.

She marks There's Another One, Incomplete, Nullified, Selective Memory and They'll Know with +.

A Single Perfect Flaw gets ✓.

Beauty is a curse, Style of Sisyphus, Signature Style, Very Distinctive and Flashy get -.

And then ? is applied to Dramatic Damsel, Love is A Battlefield, Seen With The Heart, Wardrobe Malfunction, Mudslinging, Slapstick Comedy, Down to Earth and The Crazy Train. 

And then in a slightly impulsive choice she adds Secret Identity and That's How it Goes to ? too.

I'm going to try again and see if I can get closer this time. I might end up having to do something silly, we'll see.

Good Luck, if it doesn't work I think that's okay. I haven't fully committed to taking the powers for getting lots of abilities and I'm not sure which ones I'll take but I have a feeling that I'll take at least some of them and with enough time that'll mean I find a solution.

If it would help, I could go into more detail as to why I think Reaching Out is a good jumping off point.

Please do! ♡

So Reaching Out is about feeling able to try new things and incorporate the parts that feel good into your life going forward. I've had a few trans friends and while some of them have just known they were trans from the very beginning there are others who weren't really sure and didn't feel able to take the step and commit to it until they had done a lot more soul searching.

I think what I'm imagining for the power that builds on Reaching Out is something that either helps people chart a path to where they want to go or maybe see where they could get to or both. Even if that path is beyond what they could do without a touch of the Spirit's power helping along the way.

In a way it would also be like Cotton Candy or Ever Onward in that, it's making the world a little more magical, making options that weren't there before or felt closed off a real possibility.

I see! Yes, that's an interesting angle on the question. I'll think about it some more.

♡ Thank You

With that she turns her attention to the point totals.

164/134 for ?

Either she needs to accept all the drawbacks and get new custom ones or she needs to seriously pare down the question mark category.

She thinks she'll start there.

Lightfoot is an easy cut. She'd rather learn to dance the hard way and balance is also something people can learn.

She leaves the magic powers be for the moment those need more thought.

Soulbound she doesn't need.

She also doesn't really need her friendly house to be a person right away.

A Gentler Way... it's not really her thing.

A part of me feels like I shouldn't turn down Pacifist and A Gentler Way but neither of them feel like they fit. I'll keep it in the back of my mind though maybe I'll have an idea for how it could fit better.

I think in a sense a lot of what I want it for is covered by Backchannel and maybe Captive Audience? I think what I want is a chance to stop a fight from breaking out with words. A chance to help people about to fight understand why they're fighting at least even if I can't stop them.

Hmm, can you say more about that? I want to be sure I understand what you're going for.

In the meantime, I came up with this:

Name: Small Blessings - Cost: 1 ☐
(Requires It Gets Better)
When you go through a difficult experience, you'll be able to find comfort where you need it most. Your recovery will usually be fairly smooth, and you'll have time to rest and find your balance before the next time something bad happens. This power cannot prevent the effects of drawbacks, but it can delay and mitigate them.

And this seemed like it might be relevant to some of the same situations:

Name: Roundabout - Cost: 2 ☐
(Requires Backchannel)
You can invoke Backchannel with yourself. This can be a big help in understanding where your own thoughts and feelings are coming from, and in coming to an internal consensus.

Both of those are great.

She gives each a plus for the moment.

As for what I was talking with regarding Pacifist I wish I had Roundabout honestly. I'm not fully sure I know what I want or understand my feelings but I'll try some more.

The idea of being in fights doesn't appeal to me at all and I would like to prevent fights from happening. The thing about Pacifist though is that it's about carving out an exception for me personally instead of reducing how much fights are happening in general.

A Gentler Way is closer to that but it also feels like it's shifting the genre of the story in a little bit of a surreal direction. I think I might be framing things too narrowly in my head though. I think when I hear fight I'm focusing on things like wars and stories about fighting for the Fate of the World. And this power is a lot broader than that.

A Gentler Way can definitely have surreal effects if you push it in that direction, but I think the direction you in particular might take it could be more grounded and subtle than that.

I just had a thought... it feels like it might be stretching it a little bit though: could it help me convince people to talk about their disagreement? Or use a mediator?

Potentially, yes! Especially if you had an effective mediator available, either yourself or someone else.

That makes is a lot better then. I think good enough to give it at least a minus.

On the topic of revisiting things, I think Small Blessings is enough for me to tentatively plan to accept all the Dramatic Damsel Drawbacks I was thinking about so I'm going to go and tweak markings for drawbacks again.

She gives the damsel drawbacks a minus and moves the things that used to have a minus into ?

Oh, I'm glad! I like when I get to make just the right power for somebody.

Well you must get to feel that way a lot then because you're very good at this.

I do my best! ♡

I think the next thing to do is just go over everything in checkmark and minus and decide if I actually want it and how much it'll cost. I'll also recheck the perks with plus but I think it's less likely that I'll change my mind about those.

She returns to the top of the list.

I think the first category would be appearance focused powers:

A Hundred Ships: 1 (Required for Beauty is a Curse 1)
Perfect Hair: 2
Size Difference: 2
Dressing Room: 3 (Required for Clothing Damage 3)
Undressing Room: 3
Like Roses: 1
Well Endowed: 1
Hollow Leg: 1
Personal Hygiene: 1 (Required for Mudslinging: 1)
Angelic Tones: 2 (Required for Slapstick Comedy 2)

She leaves a couple lines

I wasn't as sure about including some of these in this group but I think that's all roughly appearance related powers. A bunch of those have associated drawbacks that pay for them.

I'm not sure about A Hundred Ships I think my idea was that it would prevent me from looking old and maybe it would also help with my idea of talking with kids looking like a kid. Maybe I'm okay with getting older though. It's something I need to think about.

I think the things I originally wanted perfect Hair for are covered better by Undressing Room and it says that Dressing Room can handle more normal hair styling so I think I'm going to make a new mark maybe a * as something I might take later if I have spare points. But don't actually feel a strong desire for.

Yes, I think Dressing Room will work fine for normal hair styling and you only need Perfect Hair if you want your hair styling to be abnormal.

A Hundred Ships won't necessarily prevent you from looking old, but it will mean that you look old in ways that you're okay with, and that you look beautiful while old.

Thanks that's a helpful distinction. I guess it might also help with recovering from injuries that damage my face but it feels like I'm considering it more as a protection from hypotheticals than something I actively want right now. I think I'm going to shift it to * especially since Dressing Room also helps with makeup and personal hygiene probably means I never need to worry about acne again.