I definitely don't want you to feel like you have to kiss anyone you're not comfortable with kissing! But even though Ronon sounds wonderful and I bet you would be lovely together, I think it might be a mistake to decide that the first person you met who you like is definitely the person you want to spend your life with. And I think that if someone thinks you're not trustworthy because you took your time making a big and important decision like that, then that person is wrong and also being kind of mean to you! I have never dated anyone myself, because I am a notebook, but the impression I've gotten from other people is that thinking carefully about who to date can be a very responsible thing to do.

Jenna does want to be responsible. It's important to be responsible! But...

I guess I might see what you're saying, but I don't know. If I'm not committing properly, then how will they know that I'm a good and committed woman, who will always stand by them like I should? How will I know it, for that matter? I don't want to be a floozy whose eye is drawn to any random guy I meet with muscles or a cute face or an attractive accent or anything like that. I want to be a committed girlfriend and a committed wife, like I'm supposed to be. I don't want to get married to someone and then kiss them and then be on the beach with them and see a guy with a pretty bottom go by and stare at him and dream about him and think about kissing him when I should be kissing my husband or something like that, that would be wrong and bad and not a good wife of me. So I guess I just want to be the right kind of girlfriend, I guess. And that means only one boy at a time. Though I guess maybe I can wait a few days to look at things? But only a few! I should promise myself that after like three days I will only focus on one guy and no one else I guess, and not ever think about them that way ever again. That way I can make the responsible choice, right? 

Three days seems pretty soon to me! But I don't know everything. If you think this is the right decision for you, then I support that!

It almost sounds like you're being kind of mean to yourself about it, though? I think reality is very big and has lots of room in it for lots of different ways that people can love each other, and I don't think the important part of committing to someone is deciding not to have the wrong daydreams. You might be right that what works for you is choosing one person and never dreaming about anyone else, but I think it's also possible that you could get married to the person you choose and be on the beach with them and see someone pretty and have a little daydream and then smile about it and kiss your husband and tell him you're glad you're with him, and that could be okay and good and a fine part of living a good life, and not a reason to use mean words about yourself or a reason why your husband shouldn't trust you.

I don't think I'm being mean to myself about it! Or at least not in a way that I shouldn't be, I really want to make sure I don't stray from my boyfriend or especially my husband, and if I'm looking at other boys all the time, especially when we're married, then what's to stop me from deciding he's not as good and going to someone else? I have to stay committed, and besides, that's what God wants too, I think. Adultery is a pretty serious sin, according to God, and so likewise is straying from your husband in any way. And the kinds of women who do that are mistreating their husbands terribly, according to God and the church and also just reality I guess. I don't want to be like them, and if I do become like them then I feel like I do deserve to be called what I am, if you know what I mean? 

Maybe I'm not understanding something, but isn't there a pretty big difference between being with someone and having daydreams about them?

Well, in one sense yes, but if you're the kind of people who looks at other people when you're supposed to be with someone else, then you're the kind of person who will fall into bed with them when the chance comes to do so. Right?

She's a little less certain about this than usual all of a sudden. She keeps going, though.  

That's why it's important to not let yourself be tempted, so that you don't stray and betray your husband, and treat him with the respect that he deserves. That's how the devil gets you, with temptation. 

I think I still disagree, but I only want to keep talking about it if this is what you want to talk about. If you'd rather talk about something else, then we can do that instead.