you can say goodbye, you can say hello

"You can let me know if I’m asking stupid questions because I’m not very familiar with Earth but what kind of deal does she have with them about that?"

"I don't know the details."

"Then I suppose it’s up to you whether I try to prove myself to you now or contact the Kyubeys."

"I think I can refer you back to Ling Wen if you prove... honestly any one of the weird things you're saying... but I am not a magical girl so I don't have a gem."

"Got a secret document I shouldn't be able to spy on or want to visit Mars?"

"I wouldn't be able to verify it was Mars. Assuming I didn't die of it. And I definitely don't think you should be stealing secret documents."

"What would you like me to do?"

"Uh. Don't you have... any other way to demonstrate anything."

"Yes, but I don't know what you'll find convincing or what you'll want to have happen. You didn't like my ideas so maybe you have ideas."

"Do you have... any alien technology with you."

"I do. I could show you my computer, if you like, or a lie detector."

"Sure, I would love to see those."

"Okay, here, here's my lie detector, let's test this one first." She takes it out of her pocket.

It appears that the lie detector is a fascinatingly complex piece of machinery with three visible microphones, a glassy part that might be a camera, dozens of visible interlocking gears, and lights in red and green and yellow. When it's active, the gears turn, the lights turn off and on and change colors, and it makes an annoying noise.

"...and how does it operate, that is, how do we test it?"

"You tell truths and lies and I tell them apart."

"Ah. Um, my name is Wang Zou." True. "My name is Shu Milan." False. "I have one older sister." False. "My left sock has a hole in one toe." True. "It's going to rain tonight." The song thinks this one is too fiddly.

She pronounces judgment on all these statements.

"So it doesn't know the weather forecast...?"

"I guess not."

"Wow. And you got this from - aliens who are also elves."

"The key technology behind it was developed by aliens who present themselves as looking like humans with minor differences like pointy ears. Of course, all sorts of aliens present themselves in all sorts of ways, it's not like the Kyubeys actually look like the epitome of adorableness. This specific object was made by a different alien who has scales and wings."

"I can't see Kyubeys personally... where are all these aliens coming from and why did they contact you in particular?"

"Other planets, and out of incredible self-righteousness and expansionism."

"...why does self-righteous expansionism lead to contacting you, specifically."