"Agreed. There are always interesting and often important things the guide doesn't show, but we're starting from zero information here, so the guide is net positive."

With a firm nod, she steps over to the tourism office and then inside.

"Good afternoon!" says the lady behind the counter, her friendly smile displaying a hint of long white fangs and a forked tongue like Hazel's. Little scales dust her cheeks like glittering freckles. "New in town? I can answer a few questions for free, or have someone show you around the city for ten gems."

"Good afternoon," she responds with interest. "Have you any suggestions about good places to find work, as a new arrival to the city, or inexpensive accommodations? I'm particularly specialized toward construction and repair, but open to hear about any opportunity."

"Construction and repair?" she says curiously. "You could always try City Hall. They never have enough hands to keep up with all the maintenance. As for inexpensive accommodations, the cheapest is the orphanage, of course, they'll let you stay one night for every shift you work there. But if you want something more than just a plain bunk, I'd try the Lusty Lizard, they rent out rooms pretty cheap for a night as long as you're willing to show up in the late evening and clear out by midafternoon."

She claps her hands merrily. "Marvelous. Could you give me directions to each of those? Also, any suggestions on inexpensive and non-transformative food?"

Snort. "If you buy from the cheap places you're taking your chances. I think the orphanage will feed you if you stay with them, though, and their food's not great but it sure won't transform you. As for directions, trust me, you'd rather pay for a guide. If you really want, though, I can tell you how to find City Hall, that one's simple enough and you can probably find somebody to point you at the orphanage from there."

She doesn't have any gems yet. She will soon, but not yet. She turns to Torok. "Mind covering it this time, dear?"

He shrugs. "Sure, no problem." A quick dip into a concealed pocket in the side of his armor—not the big main pouch where he kept his waterskin—comes up with a spar of bright yellow crystal, which he hands over to the scaly lady.

"I'll be right back," she says, pocketing the gem and turning to slither into the back room—the lower half of her body turns out to be an enormous snake tail, patterned in warm desaturated browns that flatter her complexion and flecked with glossy scales like the ones on her face.

Quite lovely. She admires her as she goes.

"We'll pay you back once we have any gems to spare — any at all, really — but being shown around mare significantly help for this first time. Thank you, Torok."

"...I mean, it's not like I don't also want to know my way around the city, you know?"

She just smiles and kisses his cheek.

He smiles back.

The snake lady slithers back into the room, accompanied by a chubby, three-foot-tall green woman with pointy green ears sticking out of a curly mop of bright purple hair. Along the lower edge of each ear runs a neat row of small steel rings, what looks like a dozen in total across both ears. Apart from that, she's wearing a short wraparound skirt in a heavy dark blue cloth, a halter top in more of the same that looks like a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen, and no shoes.

"Hey!" says this second individual. "Just the two of you, or are you waiting on somebody else?"

"Just the two of us," she replies with a smile.

"This way, then!"

She leads them out of the tourist office and into the little square just inside the main gate.

"Welcome to the city, my name's Arlen and I'll be your guide for today," she rattles off. "First of all, I'd like to direct your attention to that great big fuckin' bell on top of the library, right in the middle of town!" Indeed there is a big square belltower right where she's pointing, looming over every other building in the city, higher even than the massive walls. "That is the emergency bell! If it rings, there's an emergency! What you do in an emergency is get out of everybody else's way! There'll be guards rushing for the problem, and citizens rushing away from it, and you want to make sure none of those people trips on you while you follow the second group to a safe place! If you're the sort of person who runs straight into danger wherever you find it, the thing you should do with that admirable attitude is volunteer for the guard, and until they take you and train you, your place in an emergency remains 'proceeding calmly away from it'! Got all that?"

(Torok grins and nods.)

She chuckles warmly and nods. "No charging into danger for me, not until I build much better gear and get some training."

"Excellent, glad to hear it! So I'm told you want to know your way to City Hall, the orphanage, and the Lusty Lizard brothel, is that right?"

She nods. "Yes, those three especially, probably a good shopping area, reliably non-transformative food, and anything else you'd recommend for newcomers, especially when one is looking for work. Tips on renting longer term housing once I've got some more gems to spare would also be quite appreciated."

"Sure, sure," she says. "Right this way."

At a startlingly brisk pace for someone so short, Arlen leads them down the main thoroughfare.

"First stop is gonna be Market Square," she says as she walks, her lungs seemingly inexhaustible despite her long strides and constant chatter. "That'll be your shopping area, and a good place to pick up odd jobs. Not long now—watch that puddle—just straight down Main Street from the gate, easy peasy. Hup!" She jumps over a broken axle lying in the street, part of a cartwheel still attached. "Littering's my least favourite crime. I'd ask your names but I'll just forget 'em, see, words have a hard time getting in here," she taps her temple, "against such a strong headwind."

She chuckles warmly and nods. "Littering is quite a shame, indeed."

She memorizes the route, slowly building a mental map of the city, destination by destination.

"And here we are!" she announces, spreading her arms. Market Square is bustling with canopied stalls and carts in a riot of colours.

"Take a look to your left at the grimy road coming off the square; that's Salt Street! They mostly sell food there, but I wouldn't take your chances with it if I were you! On your right is Silver Street! So clean and shiny! Pay out the nose for near anything you like, weapons, adventuring gear, jewelry, the finest blowjobs in Mareth, whatever! Up ahead on the right is Crooked Street, where you'll find most of the halfway decent inns in town; my recommendation is the Cup and Spoon, they serve three square meals a day guaranteed no funny business and provide a restful atmosphere 'cos they throw you out for fighting or fucking in the common areas! Expensive as shit though! And straight ahead ignoring all that," she sidesteps around a cart, ignoring the vendor waving a hand pie directly in her face, "it's Main Street again, direct to City Hall and the library, the two biggest buildings on Fountain Square which despite the name is round as a goblin's bottom!" She smacks her own very round bottom for emphasis. "This way, follow me!"

She chuckles delightedly and follows, squeezing Torok's hand fondly.

Torok squeezes back, gently so his armor won't pinch her fingers, and shakes his head with a smile. Their tour guide is a little unbelievable.