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A vampire isn't just for Christmas
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Eric shakes his head decisively. “No thank you.”

Tom once said some clothes were alive and would eat you. Tom said lots of silly stuff like that, but it never hurt to be careful.

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"Right. I'll have to get you something to wear if you're going to be spending a while here... but that can wait."

(And when did it become spending a while? ...well, it wasn't long after it started. Who did she think she was kidding. She's keeping him as long as he'll stay.)

"Meanwhile, do you mind if I sit you in front of the TV while I change into something a little less soupy?"

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“Yes Ellen.”

He stands up seemingly without discomfort. His foot looks as pale and perfect as the rest of him.

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She picks him up anyway, bounces him over to the couch and tosses him into the cushions. She thinks about appropriate TV options and puts on a Mister Rogers tape that Zanna hates.

"Alright, I'm gonna get changed and make some phone calls. You just sit tight, okay?"

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Nod-nod. The man on the TV seems nice, but Eric wonders if being old like that hurts.

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And she heads to her bedroom. To call the police. After she changes her clothes.

As she takes off her dress, she reconsiders. It isn't like she's got an emergency on her hands, right now. 911 isn't the place to go. Maybe CPS. CPS will know what to do, right? They'll look into this Belinda woman, and they'll interview Eric. And they'll see that Eric is being raised wrong. And - and they'll give him to someone who can raise him right. Like her.

Except, she thinks, checking her bra for soup stains, don't they have people for that? Fosters. And they're all qualified. And she doesn't know how to get qualified... and she thinks it takes a while, probably? Probably it takes long enough that he'd be placed before she's a foster. Which - great. He'd be with somebody who can get the job done.

She spends a while selecting a new dress. She wants to look good. She always wants to look good. Even if Eric's used to everybody being naked, she wants to dress up a little bit for him. Maybe it'll show him how fun clothes are.

Fosters. She's heard about some of those families, that take kids in. Or, she thinks she's heard things. They're religious a lot of the time? She hasn't figured out what kind of cult-thing Eric's doing. Would he take it alright, if somebody said he had to go to church all the time? She thinks she could handle it, get him in a little suit and make it a fun outing. She doesn't know if other people could. Especially if they're really religious. She's the kind of Christian that kind of gets it when other people aren't. What if he got... Mormons, or something? She doesn't think Mormons are good at making sure kids are comfortable.

Her shoes were fine, but they don't go with the new dress. She puts them back in the closet and finds shoes that do.

What if they put him with some - she doesn't think welfare queen is right. She doesn't really think welfare queens exist. But - the stipends they give out for foster care are bigger, maybe? Maybe some people are doing that, with foster kids. Maybe he'd go to somebody who doesn't care. Somebody who doesn't care at all about him.

Somebody who won't wash his hair the way she will.

She puts in a new pair of earrings. The old ones wouldn't really be a problem with the new dress, but these ones, they really go with it. Probably. She isn't paying that much attention.

Alan.

Alan should know.

What is she going to tell Alan, if she... unofficially... adopts a child.

Well. She... can't, really. How could she possibly justify it. It's very illegal. It could be considered kidnapping, probably.

She pauses, in the middle of picking up a curling iron.

"Fuck it," she says, and strides back out into the living room.

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"How's Mister Rogers treating you?"

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“King Friday is very silly,” Eric reports gravely.

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"He is, isn't he! Scintillate, scintillate, diminutive stellar orb..."

She gets onto the couch, smoothing down the front of her dress. (It's definitely pretty, but it's not the most practical for house wear.) "The Royal Songs drive Zanna nuts. She goes off about connotations and scansion, and how half the time the fancy words aren't even actual synonyms of the regular lyrics. She's so smart, sometimes it makes me feel dumb even though I raised her."

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Eric pets her arm. "She's half you, so she's smart because of you," he says confidently. 

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"Oh, no, she gets all the smart from her dad. She gets the yelling from me."

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"But she's got your hair. That's important!"

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"Yelling and hair! My best qualities!"

(He's never met Zanna in person, but it only takes a moment's thought to realize he must have seen the pictures. The house is full of them. Zanna doing ballet, Zanna with a violin. Zanna glaring at the camera, half the time, but beautiful and smart and hers.)

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"I can yell pretty loud!"

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