This post has the following content warnings:
View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
They said that they will put him in the box again, if he isn't able to do what they want him to. Being in the box makes him feel terrible. You can't move, and it feels really bad when he can't move.
He chooses not to say anything when he sees the technician incorrectly set the wards surrounding the testing chamber.
The proctor says it's time to test Firecalling. A full force test. He doesn't see who it is – he just hears the voice. He complies, and puts out as much Fire as he can. His fire is black, rimmed and flecked with red.
An alarm sounds. The proctor says to stop.
He does not stop.
The proctor says to stop, now more urgently.
He does not stop.
The proctor says that if he doesn't stop, they'll bring out the ball.
He does not stop. And now, he uses his Metallurgy and and Windkeeping too.
The proctor stops, because the testing chamber has exploded. In fact, the whole of Alphazon's base on Mars has exploded.
He realizes what's happening and creates a bubble of air around him, even though he doesn't need air. Not anymore.
Is there anything left of the base? Is there anyone left?
"Oh, I should explain, shouldn't I. Knocking on someone's door is a way of asking them to open the door."
"Ah. I didn't know that. I thought that people were supposed to just enter and exit rooms."
"It depends on the room! That's true of rooms like the dining hall, or the linen closet, but this is your personal room. Generally the rule is that you shouldn't go into personal rooms besides your own without getting permission from the person in the room, though there's exceptions – if the person in the room seemed like she, sorry, they might be sick or injured, they might not be able to give permission, so it would be reasonable for someone to go in to help them. Also, this is Saffron's house, so if she thought you were damaging the house or such she'd go in without permission."
«Sorry about that.»
«Conrad, I've been asked to stop shouting through the door. If you're ready to be shown to the baths, you can head out of your room now.»
Conrad will step out of his room, close the door, and reply with Sending.
:I will get permission from the person in their personal room before entering unless they are unable to give permission because they are sick or injured.:
Conrad will remember the way from his room to the baths. Is it especially far away?
Tragically, nothing in Saffron's domain is all that far from anything else in it, and not because Saffron is a mistress of portals, either.
Cumin will talk about baths on the way. "So, mundane clothes and clothes from Witchery zero or one aren't very comfortable to bathe in, and some people think bathing is nicer if you're not wearing clothes. This means that some people at the baths are wearing their garments and some aren't wearing anything and some are wearing bathing costumes. You're good with Witchery, and I'm not sure everyone in the household has been sufficiently lectured on decorum yet, so I'd suggest you keep your garment on, or borrow a bathing costume."
"I am indifferent between wearing clothes and not wearing clothes. In that case, I will keep what I am currently wearing on. Why does other people not being sufficiently lectured on decorum mean I can't not wear clothes?"
"I'm not sure how to say this politely … but you seem hard to offend, so I'll just say it straightforwardly. They might say or do sex-related things you don't want. Some people don't handle being eternally twenty-something very well, and apparently our household unfortunately includes some people like that. For now. I'm sure Saffron's giving lectures and assigning extra shifts over this, I think it surprised her as much as it did me and she's pretty disappointed with some clients right now."
"Oh, I see. I didn't know sex required being naked. I do not know anything about sex so I will simply continue wearing my clothes. I didn't know it was a big thing. I thought it was just Dee that was very into it."
"No, it's a pretty big thing, a lot of people are into it. I suppose it's technically feasible with clothes on, but it involves body parts which are covered by your clothing, and if people can't see those body parts they're less likely to get bad ideas."
Cumin sighs. "Someone should really explain sex to you. Even if you don't want to have any, it's useful for understanding other people's behavior. I think the done thing these days is to lend you books on it, we can look at the library here and see if it has any and get a book on loan if it doesn't."
"Alright, we have a plan! No, hold on, I'm not supposed to keep household plans in my head. I'll ask Saffron to remind me of it or otherwise resolve it."
«Saffron, someone needs to find Conrad some books to learn about sex from. I'm fine with doing it, but I am forgetful, so I'm letting you know."
«No, no, I was just explaining why I think he should keep his garment on for the baths and it came up.»
And they've arrived at the baths. There's some little areas with curtains, and some open showers that people are washing under, and multiple pools people are soaking in. True to Cumin's word, modes of dress vary from nudity to full-coverage black robes and hats.
There is a lot of water! Conrad smiles.
:How do you use the baths?:
He wants to Splash but presumably you are not supposed to Splash because none of the people are Splashing.
«Oh, first you clean yourself off in the showers or by magic, then you pick a bath of temperature you like and soak in it, then you dry off when you're done. Often you can chat in the baths, or if you have a waterproof book you could bring that. I'll demonstrate showering.»
Cumin dismisses her hat and her overcoat, but not the rest of her garment, and gets into the open showers. If Conrad doesn't stop her, she'll explain the process of showering while she does it. There's a soap for hair and another soap for skin and such.
Waterproof book! Paper is not waterproof, but maybe he can make a book facsimile with metal and read it then. Or actually, what he can do is flip through the pages of a book very quickly to record them, and then read the recorded pictures slowly later.
Conrad will mimic her very precisely! Hopefully the fact that his clothes prevent him from washing the skin of a lot of his body doesn't render the showering invalid. Also, he's still wearing his boots.
He will use the soap for hair on his hair and the soap for skin on his skin if Cumin does it like that.
«Oh, you need to let the soapy water run under your clothes some, and also the rinse water. If the water cleaning were less good you'd probably need to be fussier. And you should dismiss your boots or water will accumulate in them and your feet won't get properly clean.»
Cumin can do a better demonstration of adjusting clothes to let water under them while maintaining modesty than she did the first time.
Ah. He will copy her, and also dismiss his boots like she says. He also dismisses his socks even though that was not in her original suggestion.
It seems like a terrible hassle compared to just like, cleaning himself with magic, but he wanted to learn how baths work. And presumably it's less of a hassle if there are no clothes in the way.
«Alright, I think we're ready to go to the tubs. You can stick a finger in to see what the temperature is and pick one you like on that basis.»
How many tubs are there? Conrad will diligently do this, and pick the one whose temperature is such that it is the most tepid. That is to say, the one that is the least hot and least cold to the senses.