"I might! But that's actually not it, I didn't think you were going to kill me for annoying you, I have a sufficiently functional model of your personality to know that would be absurd. It's that Slayers are magnets for terrible shit. And I, wanting to live forever, do not want to be near terrible shit."

"How exciting. My life as a terrible shit magnet." Sigh.

"Yep. Sucks."

"I don't object to saving the world as an occupation even if it's dangerous but I object that my suite of tools with which to perform this function revolve around the enhanced ability to punch things."

"Lack of creativity and foresight of the inventors. It's a problem."

"Who do I blame that one on, do you know?"

"No idea. Someone long dead, Slaying's been around for millennia."

"Well, boo to them."

"I'd say boo to the idiots supporting a several thousand year old tradition, instead of embracing humanity's unceasing march towards a brighter future. Getting complacent with the teenage sacrifice instead of putting in the work to make, oh, I don't know. Literally anything else that's more effective. But that's just me, I don't have a stake in this fight. Unless it's in my chest. Which goes back to my unrepentant cowardice."

"I prefer ranged options to stakes, most people aren't buried with anything effective at a distance."

"Oh, come on, that wordplay was genius, don't assassinate it with pedantry!"

"It was nicely executed, I dunno about genius."

"Bah. Fine. Overlook my brilliance if you like, but when you next encounter another vampire with poor pattern recognition skills, you'll miss me and my straightforward self-centered logic."

"I assure you that the overwhelming majority of vampires I meet in the future will suffer for the comparison."

"Excellent," she says, preening a little. "Maybe they'll be motivated to gain a sliver of self awareness. It'd be good for them."

"I mean, they usually don't survive the encounter."

"Evolve or die isn't the worst method. It worked for evolution, didn't it?"

"Do vampires share traits with their sires?"

"Not that I've seen, no. Though there is something to be said for the sorts of people that vampires turn. Similar traits because the vampire appreciates that trait in a person."

"I'm not sure I want to encourage the vampire population to turn a better class of human."

"Fair enough! I really don't care either way, this is just sort of interesting to think about."

"Understood."

"So what are your long-term plans? If you've bothered to have any, anyway. Improve vampire slaying technology? Create a better global conspiracy? Get into a nice college?"

"Currently very much 'explore' undecided on nature of future of 'exploit'."

"Ah. Well, good luck beating the lifespan record, I suppose. I believe that I like you."