"It isn't! I honeymooned on Endorë, I met a lot of Dwarves -"

"Well, most people hadn't met any, maybe that made it worse."

Sigh.

"There were two survivors. They went to the nearest Dwarf kingdom and they were furious and they marched on Menegroth and sacked it."

"And Beren and Lúthien died of old age and their son took up the Silmaril and what was left of the kingdom and - the Fëanorians had been writing, all this time, asking for it back - he ignored them -"

"Did he not know how oaths worked. - Can you clarify how they work here, since it's not chip-based -"

"Uh, if you swear to do something you'll get an intensifying compulsion to do that, and not doing it makes it - increasingly hard to have emotions or preferences that are about other things -"

"Consistent with ours before the reform. Go on."

"I think he knew but figured it was six of them - one of Ambarussa had died - what in the world were they going to do about it, and he needed the Silmaril to fend off the Enemy, so he just put it out of mind - well, it wasn't just six of them, they still had an army and their army was furious with Doriath and angry about the Dwarves and desperate to get the Silmaril - they thought they could kill the Enemy if they got it -"

"I'm going to guess they turned out not to be able to do that. Which Ambarussa -"

"The younger. They never did get it back, I don't know if they'd have been able to do it or not."

Sigh.

"They sacked Menegroth. This is when Beren and Lúthien's son died, and the six-year-old grandchildren, but he also had a three-year-old and she got out with the Silmaril and fled south."

"- a three year old? Is this - orcish aging rates or something -"

"No - well, a bit, half-humans do grow up faster, but three's nowhere near old enough to hold it, let alone understand it, but she had caretakers and they got her out -"

"Okay, that makes more sense."

"And half-humans also have - the human thing - they can have children by accident -"

"Orcs used to be able to do that and it didn't seem like a big deal to them but they let us fix it when we begged them."

"I don't know if humans mind it. Might vary. Sometimes they do, sometimes they die giving birth -

- she got married, she had kids. And the Fëanorians came after the Silmaril and she dove off a cliff with it rather than let them have it and they took the children hostage -"

"- dove off a - what the fuck -"

"I have no idea."

Sigh.

"And then the Valar decided that they should maybe stop Melkor. So they did. And pardoned us of the Doom and invited us all home - I guess I was still a bit prickly because I said that I couldn't accept their pardon, not having done anything wrong in the first place, and stayed -"

"I don't blame you."