"You're pretty cool and I'm glad you're in my house. I mean, sorry about the circumstances, obviously. But I think we're gonna be friends and I'm excited about that."

"It will be good to have friends in, uh, this situation."

"Yeah, I bet."

"Don't be too needlessly adorable around Nicky Capri I guess."

"I will keep that in mind. —while we're warning each other off people, if you haven't already been warned off the Paynes, be warned off the Paynes."

"Oh. Do I get to know why or, uh, is it secret?"

"They're just generally a bad idea to hang around with. Some of it is magic stuff—they're part vampire and they really like to lean into it—but, I mean, it's totally possible to be part vampire and not suck. No pun intended."

"...wow, if I'd fooled around with Nero Payne instead I'd have a vampire baby?"

"If you'd fooled around with Nero Payne instead you'd probably have some concerningly date-rape-like missing memories but might have a part-vampire baby on top of that, yeah."

"Wow. I am pretty sure Nicky didn't drug me."

"A low bar, but I guess I'm still glad he passed it."

"Eh, if I'd thought he had my parents probably would've been more sympathetic?"

"...yeah, fair."

"Oh well! Hope the baby doesn't inherit his personality or my being an idiot!" Tum pat.

Oh no what an endearing tum pat.

"Here's hoping," she agrees. "But hey, you're a teenager. We're famous for growing out of being idiots."

"I certainly feel that I have learned my lesson. Probably."

"I wish I could wave a magic wand and provide you with a boy who wasn't terrible and wouldn't steal your baby but that, tragically, is not how anything works. Also it'd probably be a bit weird trying to date Spontaneous Boy."

"Yeah, like, would he even be really our age if he just started existing?"

"These among many other ethical quandaries are why I should not try to invent a Spontaneous Boy spell. Even though I could call it Spontaneous Com-boy-stion. Also it would probably take years and years to figure out and by that point hopefully we won't be teenagers and will have different problems with different solutions."

"Yeah, in a few years I sure hope I'm married and do not have this problem at all."

"What do you suppose you'll look for in a husband?"

"Well I guess willingness to have a stepkid who hatched from an egg is going to be a big one! Dunno if any of the boys from church will like that!"

"Hmm, yes, I see what you mean. I think most boys in the high school and college demographics are not keen on being stepfathers even if you remove the egg from the equation."

"Yep. Nice going, Rebecca!"

"I'm sure this is a solvable problem. Somewhere out there is a guy our age who thinks kids are great and isn't fussed about only raising his own. And really likes music. It's just a matter of finding him."