Iomedae is starting to notice a pattern where everything she observes about America from anyone other than Evelyn is extremely worrying and then Evelyn always has a reassuring explanation about how it is actually a very good and humane and just system where everyone is treated fairly.

"Well. I would be happy to leave if you do not want holy warriors in America but the President will not let me do that."

"...Yeah. Sucks. I mean, the President personally doesn't care, but CPS sure has a lot of opinions about kids. ...Where are you from, originally? I'm guessing not America." 

She's desperately curious to know how on earth Iomedae ended up in foster care in the first place, but that's just not a question you ask. One of the unspoken rules of being in foster care is that the other kids' dark backstories are none of your fucking business unless they want to talk about it. 

"I am guessing not not Canada either," Claudette says dryly. "I've never heard your accent before." 

"Taldor. I not want say much about it because now I worry America will go to war with it because we have holy warriors."

She's never heard of it and she does have a solid world geography background - maybe it's a city and not a country, or maybe it's the name for it in Iomedae's native language and not English.

"That is unfortunately something America has a habit of doing sometimes." Emily ducks her head. "Though, like, telling Evelyn about it isn't going to cause a war, she'd have to pass it on to the social worker but CPS has nothing to do with foreign policy and I don't think those departments talk to each other at all. ...Foreign policy is how America works with other countries. Or doesn't work with them, as the case may be. Anyway, the President is way too busy to hear about random kids in foster care."

Shrug. "Evelyn probably keeps saying it's safe to tell her anything, she was relentless about that with me. That's - not really true - she can't keep secrets for you, she has to tell the social worker, and - it's hard to tell what things she's going to freak out about, or at least it was for me and I bet it's not easier for you. But - she wouldn't start a war with your country over it even if she could, which I'm pretty sure she can't because the government does not start wars on the advice of random foster parents." 

"I think that if someone start learning about Taldor that end with a war maybe. Maybe not. But I do not want chances. Evelyn did not say that anything I say her, she say to social worker. Maybe she did and I didn't understand the words."

"...Wow. I hope she told you, I'm actually pretty mad if she decided not to, but - yeah, there's a lot of stuff to adjust to, she might've said it once and forgotten to follow up. I think it's not everything she has to report, like, legally speaking she only absolutely has to report things if it's something serious and you or someone else is in danger, but yeah, you should assume that most things will end up in an email to the social worker. And she's really reluctant to promise not to report something, even if you ask in advance. Which - I see why it works that way, I guess, but it's obnoxious and I don't feel like Evelyn ever really got why it was obnoxious." 

"I would be mad if I had not thinked she would tell the social worker things, but I did think this, and did not trust her, so I am not mad. I think she is trying to be honorable but she is trying to be an honorable owner of slaves, and everyone knows this a hard thing to be."

Snort. "Yeah. And - I mean, she doesn't see it that way, she's - I guess you couldn't do her job if you thought of it mainly as forcing kids to stay with you against their will, and not, just, like, parenting them the way they deserve, even if what she thinks is healthy for you isn't always what you want. She's going to be incredibly irritating about what's healthy for you. She - can be pretty out of touch, sometimes, but she - the one thing I respect most about her is that she never expects you to be grateful, you know? She tries really hard, but she gets that being in foster care sucks ass, and it makes her sad when kids don't trust her but she won't take it out on you. ...Also she's really, really hard to rile. Seriously. You would not believe the shit I pulled on her when I was twelve." 

Shrug. "Doesn't make it - not being in foster care - but there are worse foster parents out there, trust me." 

"Yes, it seem very very clear there would be. - we will not be sold to them?"

"- What? No! It's - look, it's kind of like being a slave in a lot of ways that Evelyn will literally never get, but not in the sense where Evelyn would be allowed to sell a foster kid. She does get some money for it - I used to pull that out in every argument, that she was only in it for the money - but I think that part really isn't true of her. She just likes kids. Even when they're horrible to her, which is the weird part." 

"It make sense to me, if people will be slaves, to try to have them and treat them better anyone else would. It is not - me personally, I want to fight Hell, I do not like doing honorable things that not help at all with that. But if I was a different sort of person, I see it. 

I no a kid, but Evelyn no understand this."

Blink blink. 

"- Yeah, one of the ways Evelyn is annoying is that she's got it absolutely set in stone in her brain that anyone under eighteen is a kid and it's," air quotes, "developmentally unhealthy or something for them to have to be self-sufficient. She talks about 'growing up too fast' like it's this awful thing that fucks you up for life, which - well, it's not that there's no truth to that, but it's missing a lot? I don't think I ever felt really okay until I was paying my own bills." 

Is nobody going to even acknowledge the part about fighting Hell. What the fuck. This is, to be fair, a way less offensive way for the topic of Hell to come up than the usual way people mention it, but it still kind of has Claudette's hackles raised. 

"...What do you mean, fight Hell?" 

"Go to Hell with lots of swords, or things I no have English for that do the thing of swords, make Hell stop hurting people." She says this like it is the most obvious thing in the world. "I do not know 'developmentally' or 'appropriate' but I think not my honor nor my skills nor my happiness served well by being a slave."

"Hell is very bad," Alfirin adds helpfully. "Hurt people all day forever. Also Tanar* bad, hurt people all day forever. Fight Tanar too."

*The Abyss

Well. This sure is a conversation that's happening. 

"You know, you're the first very religious person I have ever met whose reaction to Hell is even slightly valid," Claudette says dryly. "- This is going to be weird and awkward either way, so I'm going to get the awkwardness out of the way all at once and admit that I'm an atheist and I don't think Hell exists."

What on earth is the other bad thing they want to fight, she doesn't know that word. Is it a place? A person? What religion are these kids. 

"I don't know 'atheists' and maybe I not understanding 'exists'. Hell and Abyss where bad people go when die. And Abaddon, also Abaddon."

Yeah, sometimes you just have to get all the awkwardness out of the way upfront, and it's not going to make the conversation any less weird but at least they'll all agree on what conversation they think they're having. Claudette is very allergic to the sort of conversation where you nod and smile and bite your tongue while crazy religious people say crazy religion things. 

"That's controversial - not something everyone agrees on. Most scientists and educated people now don't believe that there's a God at all, or that people have souls that go anywhere when they die." 

"I don't know 'scientists' or 'educated' but there are definitely God. And people have souls, and go to judge when they die. Or to Limbo if too small for judgment. Priests heal me and many people I know of things they would die of. If you no have a priest near, having a baby, you may bleed dead before the priest comes, but if you have a priest you safe. If you have lots of money priests can cure sickness. If you have the money of a president priests raise the dead. My uncle was a holy warrior and have a spirit of Heaven serve him and guide him in fight Tar-Baphon, and he talk many people many places, and all of them know the gods. And when I got my holy warrior powers, the priest can see it, and tell my parents, yes, she a holy warrior now."

That got weirder faster than Claudette expected!!!!! 

"I, uh. Excuse me. You're saying you have holy warrior powers? Superhero powers?"

What the fuck. Is this girl schizophrenic or something. She doesn't seem schizophrenic but she sure did just say that priests can raise the dead if you pay them enough money. What the actual fuck. 

"I have same powers as all new holy warriors. To see evils at twenty paces distance and know how evil they are, and to call on God to kill them better. And others can see with a priest - blessing one - that I a holy warrior. In Taldor, this means they know can trust me, because holy warriors lose powers if we do evil, or lie, or disobey a thing we should be obeying. Here, the people who grow food say, oh, what a good thing for God to do, makes sense, I hope you get stronger. And the people who own land say, no holy warriors. I no know what to think of that.

Evelyn believe me? Or pretending?"

"...Man, I don't know." Glance at Emily. "Is she Christian?" 

"I think so? But, like, Hallmark Christmas special style Christian, not the kind where people call on the Holy Spirit and speak in tongues." Why smile at Iomedae. "I'm sure she believes that you're - honestly describing how you feel - and that you want to serve God in the world and it's really important to you. I dunno if she believes that you have, like, actual supernatural powers. Most of the people who go around claiming to have powers are pretty scammy."

Shrug. "Seems normal to me that the - farm workers? - were more religious. I think that's nearly always true, the people who've done the most school are usually less religious." Which to Emily feels like significant evidence that the whole God thing is made-up, but that's pretty awkward to say out loud to the very religious teenager who may or may not be delusional. 

Claudette is very against the concept of not saying things because they might be awkward. "Well, I think that is because God doesn't exist and the more science you know, the more obvious that is."