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this is an objectively stupid thread but I couldn't get it out of my head
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Well this is clearly some kind of miscommunication disaster and Evelyn actually has no idea what Iomedae had previously thought was going on, or honestly what Iomedae thinks is going on now. And she's also kind of unendorsedly irritated, because it feels like every single interaction with Iomedae that involves trying to give her nice things turns into some kind of complicated tangled mess of misinterpretations and she actually feels more, rather than less, like she's walking on eggshells now than she did on Saturday. And also it feels like this would have been so much less confusing if she had just sneakily paid and not let Iomedae see how much the bike cost, which she didn't do because she's pretty sure Iomedae doesn't want adults in her life doing that kind of subterfuge to make her happy. 

Getting snappy at Iomedae is a terrible idea that Iomedae doesn't deserve and that won't help with anything, and it also won't help Evelyn not crash the car. 

...You would think that someone who had grown up in a village and apparently as one of the wealthier people in it would, like, get the concept of being someone's longstanding customer, and them doing you favors? Apparently not, or maybe it's just still upsetting because Iomedae can't parse which things are favors to Evelyn versus debts she's incurred and might get in trouble about? ...Also this maybe combines kind of concerningly with what Juan whispered to her earlier but she doesn't yet see how the pieces fit together, not enough to figure out what in the world Iomedae is thinking

"I'm sorry if Juan was confusing," she says. "If you decide it's - not something you're comfortable with, him wanting to do us both a favor like this - neither of us will be angry if you want to return the bike instead." 

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"The problem is not Juan, ma'am. Is not you also. I only am not used to being foster child. I try to learn to not be angry am foster child."

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"...Yeah. That makes sense. I'm sorry." 

Man, maybe the thing to try at this point is - to stop throwing all her emotional energy at bonding with a child who doesn't trust her and doesn't want a replacement mother and is - maybe not even unreasonably - convinced she would be better off if Social Services would just leave her alone and get out of her life and stop trying to demand that she have the correct sort of childhood. And doesn't expect Evelyn to get it, which is also fair because how could she, Evelyn herself was never undocumented and never in foster care and did get paid for mowing lawns and doing paper routes, and - well, also had to go to high school and wasn't allowed to bring a knife, there are definitely some aspects of this that Iomedae chafes against that are just...actually normal, and not about CPS scrutiny...but it makes sense, that Iomedae is chafing against the rules and Evelyn never was. 

The issue is that Iomedae - and presumably Alfirin, who's being suspiciously and worryingly quiet in the backseat - do very, very badly need to talk to someone American, who knows how America works, and who can explain which things are frustrating but unavoidable rules and which are straight-up misunderstandings. 

She would considering inviting Teagan - who's also fifteen, now, and finally in a mostly-stable living situation - but Teagan would not actually have the maturity to give Iomedae even slightly reasonable advice, and Iomedae would see that and wouldn't trust her. 

She does, however, keep in touch with a lot of her former foster children... Hmm. Probably best not to put Iomedae in touch with one of the teen moms, what if she's religious at them about it. But there are still options... 

 

"Hey," she says, "I just had an idea. There's a girl who lived with me as a foster child, oh, more than ten years ago, from when she was eleven until she was almost fourteen. She's in her twenties now, so she's grown up and living on her own, but - I think maybe she'd get it, better than I do, how frustrating it is. And she'd love to come over, she - we've stayed in touch even after she moved to live with a different foster carer. Her name is Emily." 

And, even better, she works in a daycare, so she's police-checked, and is even on Evelyn's list of approved babysitters. Not that Iomdae or Alfirin need a babysitter, but - they could use a girls' night, maybe, while Evelyn gets out of their hair and takes Lily out for some mummy time. 

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"That would maybe help.

I think the part I am finding hard is the not being allowed earn money, but being allowed - do things that are sort of exactly like earning money but different. I get confused how think about them. I happy work four days for bike. I not happy two hundred dollars bike. But I no can work four days two hundred dollars. But maybe I can if I watch Lily? But I do watch Lily, and I do not get paid. - I am not ungrateful. I not think you should pay me. I just confused. 

What is English for - not foster child. Person who belong to themself."

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"- I'm sorry. That's on me, I - think it's easy for me to lose track of what things I take for granted but that you couldn't possibly know because you didn't grow up here, or how it's probably hard for you to follow conversations in English even though you're really quite good at communicating when you want to. I give all children an allowance," both because it seems only fair and good parenting, and because it's something she can withhold if they're not behaving well, which is really not Iomedae's problem.

"I - wouldn't, normally ask a foster child to babysit one of my other foster children, even if they're old enough, because - that's my job and most of the children I look after have enough on their plate already." Not that she's convinced this isn't true of Iomedae, but giving Iomedae less responsibility is clearly not helping. "I hadn't really been keeping track of how much time you've spent with Lily, there's been - a lot going on, and for babysitting I would usually discuss it in advance and say, you're babysitting Lily from five to seven, say, and I'll be upstairs reading. But I do think it's fair to count the times you've gotten her up in the mornings, even if we hadn't discussed that in advance." 

Sigh. "I'm - not sure what word you want? There are - other children, who live with their parents - but they still have to follow a lot of the same rules, Jeremy did too, they have to go to school, and live with adults who look after them - though of course if their adults hurt them, they can get help, and live somewhere else - and children aren't allowed to do jobs that are considered too dangerous. ...There's - hmm, so there are citizens - people who were born in America and have American passports, and there are legal immigrants, who weren't born here but have papers from the government saying they can work for a particular job, and there are illegal immigrants who don't have papers. When you're an adult, there won't be so many rules, and hopefully by the time you're an adult, you will have a green card - that's a kind of papers - and be allowed to work wherever you want, if they want to hire you. Does that answer the question?" It was probably way too many words. 

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"If I was a citizen, and I wanted a bike, I would say to Juan, I will work in the bike shop for pay and then pay for the bike, because I do not know Juan, I do not know if he will do his part if I do mine, and that way if my plans change I still have the money. If Juan and I live in same village all our life and no reason think my plans change, then maybe I work in the bike shop on Juan promise I get bike after some time. And I no spend two hundred dollars on bike when I only have four hundred twenty eight dollars and no way make more money. 

I do not belong to myself. I am yours. You can say, Iomedae work for Juan. You can say, Iomedae work for Evelyn. You can say Iomedae work for food bank. I think it not good of America make people foster child who no break any laws, no take in any wars, but I not know lots of things, maybe is lots better than other thing that happen. But since I yours, I not sure how to think about getting bikes for my work. Maybe I should say, otherwise I work and get nothing, this way I work get a bike, very foolish no do that. Maybe I should say, I no can accept this; I work where ordered and I say thank you to gifts but I no should try work places give gifts, because I not understand how to do this in a way that is fair, and is not - making promises I no mean to make. It is very important to me no make promises I no mean to make.

Maybe I should say, Evelyn trying be honorable with Iomedae belonging to Evelyn, which everyone know is hard kind of being honorable. Evelyn trying to make it like Iomedae a citizen, as much as Evelyn no get in trouble with government, because government no want anyone treat foster child like citizen, because then maybe the foster childs would disobey and need swording."

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...Emily is absolutely going to get along with Iomedae. It's - not the same words, for sure, that were screamed at her at three o'clock in the morning on more than one occasion, and it's not even quite the same sentiment, but it's - a lot of the same underlying frustration, she thinks. Frustration that she's pretty sure Emily still has, with a system that - involved a few people trying their best for her, and an awful lot of people just showing up for a day's work, and the system itself wasn't the kind of thing that could care about doing right by her. She would, in particular, Evelyn thinks, resonate with the part where Evelyn was trying as hard as she could to - get it right, being a foster parent, even when that meant pushing back against the prevailing tide of CPS rules and fostering agency policies, even when it sometimes meant being told off by a social worker for sticking her nose in things - and that did not, actually, make Emily particularly feel better about being a foster child. 

Emily has political opinions, nowadays. Evelyn is very proud of her. 

She's still pretty confused, and pretty concerned at that last bit, but - honestly she doesn't know what Iomedae means, or if Iomedae will endorse it when she's not upset, because she's clearly at least a bit upset right now. ...Evelyn is maybe just not going to try to argue with that, Iomedae clearly comes from a culture where violence toward children was a lot more acceptable, and Evelyn is not the right person to convince her that, no matter how badly she behaves, Evelyn is never going to hit her let alone stab her. What the actual fuck. Okay, fine, so she's met parents who punished their children by burning them with cigarettes and that is not really any less fucked up but. Still. 

Hopefully talking to Emily will help with that misconception, because Emily...was not a well-behaved teenager like Iomedae is, and - it did land for her, eventually, that Evelyn was never going to hurt her in anger no matter how far she pushed. (It's something a lot of kids do, she thinks, because past experiences get driven in deep, and not knowing where that line is feels more frightening to them than being hurt. Honestly, it's a way of testing the line that feels much less stressful, and one Evelyn feels infinitely more equipped to handle gracefully, than this type of conversation.) 

 

"- I'm trying," she agrees. "I know it's - a lot to adjust to - and I'm not always very good at explaining. And - I think you take your promises much more seriously than any fifteen-year-old I've ever met, I - keep forgetting that. I do think talking to someone like Emily might help it - be less confusing, even if it's still not how you'd prefer things to be." 

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It would be easier not to forget that if Evelyn stopped pretending that Iomedae was a child. But she is probably not allowed to stop pretending that; they are pretending by decree of America's Emperor, or something like that. Iomedae is tired and it is not wise to keep making a point Evelyn doesn't want to hear, but - "you are a carer for children, ma'am. Children should not give their word. I am a holy warrior. Holy warriors do give their word, and die sooner than break it." 

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You're FIFTEEN, Evelyn does not say, because it won't help. She's pretty annoyed with - well, Iomedae's parents, partly, for just - bowing to it like that - and kind of her entire background culture. And at the same time (and, yes, she's aware it's stupid to be mad in both directions at once) she's annoyed with Diel and Social Services and ICE and the entire US government bureaucracy, for - making everything so complicated, for putting up so many fences in the way of Iomedae to be Iomedae when surely Joan of Arc never had to deal with her foster carer being legally required to write log notes to her social worker about concerning things she said shut up, Evelyn's brain, Evelyn is trying to focus on driving a large metal vehicle right now. 

"I'll - try to be better about that," she says, because she's not sure what else you're supposed to say in that circumstance. "And I'll text Emily and see if she wants to come over after work." 

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"Thank you, ma'am." Evelyn is really remarkably virtuous about her slaves being argumentative. Iomedae's own father would've ordered her to stop arguing by now, and she was his daughter for real.

 

She prays silently for the rest of the ride home.

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Alfirin has not been successfully following anyone's words in this conversation, just their moods. Iomedae is upset about what happened in the bike shop and Alfirin doesn't know why and is kind of scared that whatever it was it's going to happen to her too.

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Evelyn has not stopped being concerned, and feels kind of bad for shutting the conversation down rather than trying to draw Iomedae out more, but - drawing Iomedae out is exhausting, she never knows what she's going to stumble onto and most of the time she's left still confused and, really, she doesn't expect to be un-confused until there's less of a language barrier in the way and they can make more progress on the even more intimidating culture gap. And she's actually a much worse driver when distracted. 

They get home without incident. It's nearly noon. Evelyn parks and unloads Iomedae's bike and - actually has to get Iomedae's help putting the front wheel back, she's not very mechanically inclined and Juan showed Iomedae and made her practice it. She has Iomedae walk around the side gate to the backyard and shows her how to unlock the shed (the key lives under the flowerpot) and put her bike away in it. 

 

 

She has to check her email, at which point she does immediately see the email from Diel, and tells Iomedae and Alfirin that she's going upstairs to make a phone call but they're welcome to grab anything they like from the fridge if they're hungry now; she'll make a proper lunch after the calls are made. 

(And she suspects Iomedae and Alfirin could use a chance to talk and decompress after what, as usual, ended up being a stressful and exhausting morning for everyone involved. Evelyn also kind of needs some time to decompress.) 

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"What happened? It was all in English and I did not understand it - "

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"It's fine, everything is fine. So the man at the store offered that I could work there four days, and he would give Evelyn a discount on the bike. And I told him that if I had to leave Evelyn's before I had repaid the debt I'd bring the bike back to him first, and it seemed all right. But then in the car I asked Evelyn - well, I was just trying to ask if she considered me to be indebted to the bike shop man, or to her, and for how much, because I've never been in debt before and frankly would've assumed it wasn't allowed for a slave. And she said it was two hundred dollars, but I shouldn't worry, because if I run into any problems when I go to the bike shop to pay it back, she can just take it out of the money that she will give me for watching Lily. - she has not, obviously, given me any money for watching Lily? Nor would I expect to get any?

- anyway, then I was irritated with myself for being foolish and not asking those questions back in the bike shop instead, and I was feeling the temptation to anger about the money even though of course Evelyn sort of pretending to pay me for things is not worse than her not doing that, but it makes it feel like I chose to spend two hundred dollars, and obviously I wouldn't have done that, and I don't know how to relate to debts I wouldn't have taken on if my time were mine to choose but that are better than my time being otherwise employed, and perhaps I shouldn't take any such debts on. And she said maybe I should talk to a former slave of hers who bought her freedom eventually, and that'd make me feel better about things. And that does sound like a very useful conversation to have, so I agreed, and said I wanted to be more careful not to get into arrangements that resembled making promises.

...and then she said, oh, I am sorry I forgot you care about your promises so much. I know that no one here knows what a paladin is but it's really something. You would think I had invented the whole idea of being careful about agreeing to debts."

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"Why is she... pretending to give you money for watching Lily...? Do rich people in Taldor give their children money for playing with their other children?"

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"No! They don't! If I were at home it would be my job to keep my younger siblings clean and out of trouble when I wasn't doing anything more important and no one would pay me for that because it does not make any sense to pay your children. I don't understand why Evelyn is pretending to, and I don't understand why she spent two hundred fifty dollars plus four days of my labor for a bike. - it's a lovely bike, but I'd feel better if anyone involved seemed to be doing things that made any sense."

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"I do not always know what is strange because Evelyn is a noble in a great empire and what is strange because America is strange. I think it is strange that they give slaves money and let us buy freedom, and also can tell us we have to spend our money to buy bikes, even if we do not want bikes for that amount of money.

 

It seems very strange if nobody in America cares about promises? How would the Emperor keep the empire with no promises?"

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" - that is a very good question! I would expect an Empire to fall apart immediately without promises. 

 

There are different kinds of being a slave in Taldor but some slaves get to keep a part of the money they earn, to motivate them, and can buy their freedom at the same price as you could buy a slave like them at market. It seems like a good system to me, I suppose? I never thought of it. We didn't have slaves like that, only people who worked our land and would need my father's permission if they wanted to go move to the city or something."

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"That kind of slave is not confusing. I understand why sometimes slaves are that kind of slave. I don't understand why that kind of slave - the owner can still take their money, or make them spend it on things instead of saving it - that is like being the other kind of slave, where you cannot buy freedom, but with more pieces."

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" - yeah, it really is. I have no idea. Maybe we can ask the former slave, if she comes to visit. I think Evelyn didn't intend to be forcing me to buy the bike and thought she was being nice since the bike is worth more than the two hundred dollars I am being made to spend on it."

 

 

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"Oh. That makes more sense. And if she has to treat you like a child, many children do not understand money and parents think they are too stupid to decide whether to buy a bike."

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"Yes. And she didn't even really think of it as forcing me to spend my money, because it's not as if I am allowed to work at the bike shop for pay, only for bikes. She saw it was a good deal, and told me to accept it, and this is reasonable treatment of a child, and she even offered that I could return the bike if I regretted agreeing, which is as honorably as one can possibly be expected to treat a slave one has to pretend is a child, so - I think really my only problem is that I passionately dislike being a slave who has to pretend to be a child, and that's not really Evelyn's fault. I asked if she was constrained by - the Emperor not wanting slaves to be bold or to have money, since then he'd have to put down a slave revolt, so the laws do not allow treating slaves too generously - but she did not answer that question."

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She nods. "Being a slave is bad, so if slaves are bold they will fight to not be slaves. I would fight to not be a slave, if it seemed to work, except Evelyn acts like a kind master and dying in the fight I would go to the abyss."

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"Yes. It's funny. If you'd asked me when I was free, should slaves fight, I would say obviously not unless their master was very unreasonable, because it's much worse to die. But now that I am a slave, there is a part of me that wants to fight, even though it still doesn't make any sense. I think I understand better how people end up going to the Abyss even though it's still a terrible decision. It is the part of the spirit that yearns to surpass the gods, except that is a dangerous part of your spirit to have when you're a slave."

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"I think that would still be dangerous, because most of the gods do not want you to surpass them. Maybe Aroden does but that is a strange god thing. The dangerous part of your spirit is only dangerous for slaves if they can not hide it - I think maybe paladins make bad slaves, because of that and for other reasons."

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