Barb may be constitutionally allergic to tact, but she isn’t blind. That is not a happy child.

She lets out a gust of breath again, pulling her chin forward and down, oddly like a marionette having its head yanked around by an invisible puppeteer. 

“I put my foot in it, didn’t I,” she says, looking directly at Miranda through her lashes. She doesn’t sound incredibly sorry, but it’s starting to seem like she has exactly one tone of voice. “You’re a little girl, not a thing, I didn’t mean it that way. And it’s not your job to make us look good with your accomplishments.” Sigh. “But it’s our job to make sure you get an appropriate education, and I’m already seeing us having a bit of a time with that.”

"It's okay. I'm--having a lot of emotions today. But let's talk about me getting an education, because I agree that it's a complicated question. Evelyn was thinking of sending me to a mixed-age school and I think that's a good idea, because it'd be kind of a coincidence if I was at the same grade level in everything. And yeah, I should get formally tested at some point." She is still full of aaaaaaa but she is in fact getting what she wanted and not being called a liar or a braggart so really this is a win and she needs to woman up about it.

(Barb is, to a significant extent, not even assessing the question of whether Miranda is lying about her academic level. Kids can tell if you're eyeing them with the goal of deciding whether they're lying or telling the truth, and also she's actually very bad at judging that. It's not like they wouldn't notice if it turns out Miranda is exaggerating her knowledge, and why worry about it before that point? ...Also she did read Evelyn's log notes from last night and it fits.) 

"Like a Montessori school sort of thing? Good plan. Evelyn's probably stressing herself out about your 'social development'," she says it with invisible but definitely aubible air quotes, "but, honestly, I don't see the advantage of learning to getting along with other six-year-olds when you're six too." She shrugs ponderously, setting her midsection jiggling. "You may find them a lot easier to appreciate when you're older."

What a reasonable sensible woman. "You're so right. I don't have an inherent objection to six-year-olds but I really don't want them to be my entire social circle. I genuinely think more diversity in my social network would be good for me." Hopefully she didn't just step in a trap. She doesn't think so.

Barb nods. She rolls her neck from one side to the another, grabbing a chunk of her tightly curled hair and using it to pull her head to the side, as though doing a neck stretch, before releasing the springy curls to boing back. She blinks, also in an exaggerated sort of way, scrunching both eyes shut and then opening them wide as though hoping the room will look different if she resets her vision. 

"Some advice," she says. "Bet you're all impatient to be a grownup - and it's tough, being a little kid, stuck with everyone treating you like a little kid because you are, and wishing you were a grownup already. And it can feel really nice, when you meet a grownup who does treat you like an adult trapped in a little body, not like you're too young to know what you want or look out for yourself."

She sucks in her breath, making a whistling sound. "Thing is, you've got to be careful. Most adults are lovely, but the lovely ones usually do want to keep kids safe, yeah? And I get that, it's not a comfy vibe, but - a lot of times, an adult who treats you like you're grown up too has an agenda, and it's not a nice one." She widens her eyes again. "Do you follow what I mean or do I need to be more clear?"

Wow. That was...actually more or less reasonable advice? Go Barb. 

"I know what you mean. It's very reasonable of you to be afraid for me, but--I know not everyone is good, I know what safety precautions to take. I want to strike a balance between--being a target--and walling myself off from a world of mostly decent people." And if she pretends to be an adult on the internet she won't have the adverse selection problem. "I believe it's possible to make friends without doing anything that would leave me vulnerable if some of them aren't what they seem. And the risks will only get smaller as I get older, or mostly at least."

Sunny smile. "You've thought this through, haven't you. I'm proud of you." Her tone shifts a little on the last sentence, not exactly quieter but slightly singsong, as though it's a Memorized Script.

She turns abruptly back to Evelyn, clearly putting a lid on that part of the conversation. "I'll look into the Montessori schools for the fall term. We should get her assessed before that, I'll see when I can get an appointment on the books with the educational psychologist. Is she happy to keep going with self-directed learning in the meantime, or should I be looking into tutoring or special summer programs? We can't send her to a normal chess camp for kids, she'll crush them and they'll hate her about it." 

She sucks at chess though! But she doesn't say that because it sounds like a reason to send her to chess camp and she doesn't actually want to memorize 999 openings and endgames.

"Enough library books and computer time will keep me happy as a clam but not necessarily balanced across subjects and I should probably leave the house more often than that. You know what would be great though, would be a summer camp with like archery and hiking and stuff. Fresh air and sunshine and exercise and socializing with no academics to make the socializing weird. Or I could do a science camp or something. Lots of options. Like I said earlier I don't know what anything costs so if I say something ridiculous it's not because I'm super attached to it."

Also any amount of spending on her makes her feel bad for mooching even though it is literally illegal for her to pay her own way. She should ask for chores and an allowance or something just to build some sane mental habits around money.

Barb's eyebrows rise almost enough to vanish into her hair. "Well! At least you're not one of those bookish kids who fights tooth and nail against ever doing physical activity. You're right, it's good for you. I doubt the fostering stipend will stretch to cover archery camp, but I'm sure there's something outdoorsy. Girl scouts? I think they do a sleepover camp in summer break, and they offer some scholarship places for disadvantaged kids." 

Girl scouts suck boy scouts rule all of her evidence for this belief is missing and she's suspicious that it's actually an assertion about gender roles. News flash, brain, hiking doesn't have a gender. "Sounds good! I don't know much about the girl scouts apart from that they sell cookies and I have no particular desire to sell cookies unless I get to keep the money, but probably they let you go to the summer camp without doing all of the other things?" Also she's not, like, firmly against selling the cookies even if she doesn't get to keep the money, heck maybe it'd look good on her college admissions, but it's not an obvious part of an ideal time allocation.

Barb laughs; her laugh is deep and booming, like her voice. "Understandable!" She turns back to Evelyn. "Look, if it's what would make her happy, there's no reason she can't find ways to earn a bit of pocket money. She's a bit young still for a paper route, but it's not against the rules for kids in care to run lemonade stands, or do some light yardwork for the neighbors. Oh, and you wrote in your log notes that she likes embroidery, that's a business idea right there. I had a friend once who made cross-stitched bookmarks and put up a little stand on Saturdays." 

Evelyn...looks kind of nonplussed about this, but like she doesn't actually have an argument against it. 

"I'd love to get paid for yardwork! I have no idea if my embroidery would sell" and I'd rather earn money from honest work than from being adorable at people until they buy something to make me happy "but I'm going to be doing it anyway so I might as well find out." Wages! Participating in civilization! Yes!

Evelyn is still looking somewhat conflicted about this, but Barb gives Miranda a sunny smile. "Good plan! Evelyn, was there anything else that came up, or is now a good time for us to have our private talk?" 

Evelyn is honestly kind of feeling like she's lost the plot of the conversation at this point. "Not that's coming to mind right now. School was my main concern. - Oh, there is the routine stuff, she's not sure when she last had a dental or optician check-up. I'm not worried about her teeth, she has excellent self-care skills," a smile at Miranda, "but we'd better check off that box. I was going to take her to Dr Rosenberry for a well child visit and see if he has any worries about a vegan diet and nutritional deficiencies for a child her age who still has a lot of growing to do. If all the paperwork's in order for that then I'm happy to take care of it." 

"I don't see any problem with that." 

Nod. "Miranda, can you think of anything I'm forgetting?" 

Does she dare ask about a birth certificate? . . . No, she should still be assuming her parents will come back. "I don't know which vaccines I've had. Or which ones I'm supposed to have had."

Barb waves her hand. "Hopefully we'll find your records soon - they'll be somewhere, the Social Services are just notoriously slow at bureaucracy. We're still mostly using actual paper for our paperwork, can you believe it?" She shares a look with Miranda that says she hopes Miranda will be just as appalled by it as she is. "If that doesn't work out, I believe there's a blood test. I'm inclined to say it's not an emergency for now, you probably had all the right vaccines as a baby, but summer camps want proof of it so we'll need to sort it out before then, and definitely before you start school." 

F in the chat sympathetic facial expression for actual paperwork! (Is F in the chat even a meme in 2010? She should Google all the memes and news events she isn't sure about so in five year's Google's database is full of suspicious time traveller queries as soon as she has a good explanation of the resulting browser history.)

"As long as it gets sorted out eventually, yeah." If this body materialized with appropriate vaccines that would be very polite and civilized of the simulators/aliens/whatever. If not, it's evidence of nonsapient negative space wedgie. If she still has all her covid antibodies, it's ambiguous yet based (and the blood test probably won't notice). She should wash her hands even more than usual until she knows one way or the other because fuck getting the measles. "I'm not immediately thinking of anything else important."

Then Evelyn will duck out and go hang out upstairs so they can have a private chat! 

Barb rubs the small of her back with a groan, then hauls herself up and takes her glass to the fridge to top it up with juice. "Anything for you, Miranda?"

She doesn't actually wait to give Miranda time to reply, but goes on, in exactly the same tone of voice as she always uses (i.e. probably audible from Evelyn's bedroom, unless Evelyn is very scrupulous about not overheating and is putting in earplugs or something.)

"By the way, there's no rule that you have to talk to me. The point is this is, you can bring up complaints against Evelyn - or just have a chance to let off steam, if you want to complain that she buys shampoo that smells funny then Evelyn never needs to know." She's turning a little on the spot, rotating one ankle, mostly looking out the kitchen window rather than in Miranda's direction. "But I know I'm not your friend. I'm the lady from the social who you met twenty minutes ago, and if you tell me the wrong thing, I can make it so you never get to live with your parents again. I wasn't born yesterday – I know we get a bad rap and sometimes we even deserve it. I like you, you're a neat kid, but I don't need you to like me and I won't be hurt if you don't. But if you do want to talk - now, or later - then it really is my job to listen." 

Speech complete, she turns back to look at Miranda, waving her juice glass like a stage prop. "So should I get you anything since I'm already up?" 

"Some juice would be excellent, thanks. Fortunately things are pretty great here and I don't have anything to say at the moment. I appreciate your self-awareness about the matter." Barb is honestly awesome and has surpassed her most optimistic expectations for Lawful and courteous and easy-to-deal-with behavior from a social worker. Just goes to show you really cannot judge a book by its cover.

Barb brings the juice over and bangs it down on the table. "There you go. Mmmm." She sits down and bends to rub her foot again. "Didn’t expect problems, Evelyn’s a very experienced carer. But she can’t read your mind, and most of the kids she’s experienced with aren’t much like you. I hope you feel like you can tell her when something’s not working so well for you?”