"Nobody is going!" cries Mr. Arden. And he slams the door in Michael's face.

He pops back to report this to Rebecca.

"Ugh," sighs Rebecca. "Beth might still sneak out, if she heard you."

"Several people heard me, I don't know if she was one. Would it have gone better if I'd have claimed to be Catholic?"

"Probably would have just explained that I'm not allowed to marry anyone except Catherine's birth father now and told you to put me back where you found me."

"You're not? Why?"

"Because we slept together, so now my options are marrying him or a life of celibacy, only I can't actually marry him either because he's a Protestant and besides I don't want to and neither does he, so."

"That sounds like kind of a stupid rule. I've slept with plenty of girls, what's the rule for that -"

"Well, you're not a Catholic, so it doesn't apply to you, I'm sort of getting the impression that you're not any kind of Christian at all so I couldn't begin to guess what you're supposed to do. Actually come to think of it if there's one of those potions you could take then that's not me sinning."

"- there's not an easy one but there's almost certainly something, I'll look into it. If we don't want like fifteen children, which would be a lot even with elves."

"It really would."

"If Timothy becomes ruler of the world and we're effectively arbitrarily rich then maybe it's not a big deal but otherwise I'll find something." Kiss. "I have to go, I shouldn't miss school this close to N.E.W.T.s. I'll write you and I'll see you Saturday."

Kiss! "Okay! See you then!"

And he goes back to school. He nods to Miranda in the Slytherin common room.

"Hi. How are Rebecca and Catherine?"

"Settling in, I think! My father is trying to teach Catherine Latin and Greek and French and Italian and question Rebecca about Muggle theology - she was, uh, a nun. Briefly."

"I don't know why I imagined you would have settled for anyone less newsworthy than an ex-nun."

"She has a lovely voice. And plays piano. I did not just go around soliciting nuns."

Giggle.

" - I mean, I did go around soliciting nuns but specifically ones with excellent voices who played piano. How was your weekend?"

"I didn't go around soliciting nuns either. You're being very much gossiped about."

"What, really? Gossiped about?" He looks wounded. 

"Your worst fear, I know."

"I should possibly have told my girlfriends."

"They seem surprisingly unruffled but yes that would have been the way to go about it if you'd planned this at all."