My apologies, but the current rules prohibit Milliways being used as a highway for extensive transportation or trade. However, we are celebrating Christmas, a holiday from Earth, which is associated with traditions such as the current decorations and people giving each other presents. As such, it seems reasonable for you to each give each other a present, if you wish, in the spirit of friendship.

Plagueis lets out a growl, but it doesn't seem like the entity generating the napkins is actually responsible for this blatant attempt at stopping the progress of civilization. "Very well, then. What sort of things are you interested in? I have a few trinkets with me."

Asatyyl appears rather impressed that a galaxy's worth of planets could be united even under an ineffective, corrupt government; he's heard of plenty of governments collapsing under the weight of merely a single planet's population.

He...may have been subconsciously entertaining the beginning of a notion of inter-dimensional trade agreements, but if it isn't to be, it isn't to be. Still, meeting other dimensions' visitors will be worthwhile on its own.

He's been experiencing another culture's holiday without even realizing it! Amazing! He more carefully examines nature of the decorations.

"How kind of you! Anything of significance to your culture that I might remember it by would be marvelous. I'm afraid I didn't come quite so prepared; my gift to you might have to be informational in nature.

Bar, what else can you tell me about the celebration of 'Christmas'?"

It was originally in memory of the birth of a legendary figure named Jesus, who some of Earth's population believed to have had supernatural powers. In later times, it has become a celebration of family and selfless giving, and has become an essential part of many Earth cultures. In addition to the decorations and the giving of presents, there are also traditional meals, and a great many stories about Christmas have been created, in addition to Christmas music. Some of which will now be audible in the background!

"What would it cost to purchase these meals?" asks Plagueis. He searches through his bag, which contains... a few medical tools, some comms devices that probably won't work well without connection to the network, and... he probably shouldn't give away his lightsaber. Hmm. Maybe... "If you would like a hologram projector, it can depict three-dimensional images, though they're unfortunately only in one color. There should be a great many loaded on, if you want to see things from my galaxy. Oh, and it has a built-in board game, dejarik, although the image quality is somewhat poor. I can show you the rules, if you want."

"A hologram projector! That would be a fine gift, thank you," he says with a smile. "Images from your galaxy will be a wonderful memento of this meeting." And he's sure his brother Taatari will love to get a look at genuine inter-dimensional technology, if he can promise not to break anything irreparably in the process. "And I would love to learn how to play dejarik."

"Bar, what sorts of compensation do you accept for your food and drink? I'm not sure I have much on me at the moment but perhaps we can work something out?"

Any valid currency from any universe will be accepted.

He hears in his head his father's admonitions about how "no computer network is as reliable as physical currency!" as he searches his pockets and comes up with 6.45 Maatsian work-time analogs*. "Bar, what can you sell me for about this much of a traditional Christmas meal that won't poison either of us?"

*Equivalent to about $20 USD

Plagueis will also contribute, with a large sum of credits that should be enough to buy the best dinner the bar has!

He may have an ulterior motive for this generosity; he's worried that if Asatyyl had bought the whole dinner, that might be interpreted as the "Christmas present." Which would be a wasted opportunity! Even if Asatyyl doesn't have anything that would be valuable where he comes from, any kind of artifacts from another civilization might very well be capable of changing his own galaxy. A piece of his clothing might have design techniques that could revolutionize the clothing industry! Or... oh, right, he's being stupid. There's a small but non-negligible chance Asatyyl is carrying data that could help him save every life in the galaxy.

Bar has plenty of Christmas food! Turkey, and loaves of bread, and stuffing, and various fruits, and potatoes, and carrots, and gingerbread cookies, and candy canes, and sugarplums, even though they won't get the reference.

After they've tried out some of the food, Plagueis will hesitantly make his request.

"Ah... this might not be a standard Christmas present... it's a little weird, sorry. But most of my research has focused on how the body and midi-chlorians interact with each other, how the smaller parts build up into a greater, more capable system. And you not having any midi-chlorians, and yet somehow not immediately dying... it goes against everything I've encountered in biology so far. I'm not even sure what a living system would look like, if it didn't have midi-chlorians sustaining it at every second."

"And of course, there's no law of physics that makes it impossible for something to survive without that specific molecular structure. There are intelligent beings made of other things, robots and so on. But if we're able to eat the same food, if we look so similar, I'm fairly certain we're built on approximately the same framework, the same materials and basic cell structures. So having your biology as another data point, for an explicit comparison of two almost identical systems, but one of which can't survive without something the other doesn't even have... would be incredibly valuable. It might help us cure diseases, it might help us change what powers the Force offers... and it might even show me the secret for the overarching goal in my research. Immortality."

"So, for Christmas, can I have some of your blood? And other types of cells, flesh and so on, if I can find a way to remove small amounts without causing you harm, but blood is the one that I can definitely safely extract."

"That," says Asatyyl as he nibbles on turkey, "is a fantastic idea. You may absolutely have some of my blood and other assorted tissues. Consider me your test subject for as long as you need. 

It would be fascinating to learn what you discover, but I suppose you won't know most of it until after you get back to your actual lab."

Then Plagueis will take some blood and assorted tissues! As gently as possible; most people can't handle even the tiniest scratches because they're cowards because they haven't developed as much of an affinity for pain as he has. Any bleeding areas will be sealed back up thoroughly and hygienically.

And then... well, he has experiments to start, but right, he's currently taking part in conversation and friendship and all of those things normal people do. And yes, he likes Asatyyl even for non-economic reasons! To conversation they return!

"So! As for a topic more specific than our entire universes... hmm. Maybe we could just tell each other what's been happening in our lives, and then probably transition into all of the questions and subquestions those inspire due to our not knowing any of the background information!"

"I... hmm. Apart from my work, I've been..." Oh, right. He hasn't been doing anything else. "Well, I'm not actually sure if I have a non-work life, but unless you're interested in hearing about various experiments that might not even fit with your own world's chemistry, I could tell you about the rest of my job."

"I'm on the board of a political activist company affiliated with the Banking Clan. I recently met with a Senator Palpatine, from the planet of Naboo. The planet is mostly undeveloped; it's just unoccupied grassy plains, apart from one sector with a few large cities, and then a separate isolationist faction that lives underwater; we don't have contact with them. The one major industrial product Naboo exports is a large supply of plasma inside of the planet's core, which is fairly easy to access, because the planet's water just about keeps going down to the center. But there are still some difficulties in getting to it, and it hasn't really been worth it for Naboo to start up a large industry just for the small amount their own population would use."

"But the market for plasma on other planets is very active, and there's a great opportunity for Naboo to start exporting it for a profit for everyone. We've gotten a tentative agreement for them to expand their Plasma Refinery Complex to a point where they can become a center of galactic trade, but their King is fairly suspicious of the whole thing. I've been negotiating with Senator Palpatine and trying to arrange a deal that will benefit the King's own interests, which unfortunately might involve some bribery, and yes I know bribery is not the sort of thing that should be in a healthy administrative system but that is the only way to get through to this type of politician. And then we've also been trying to get the agreement of the Trade Federation, which is kind of essential when you're handling a new player in galactic trade, but they're suspicious because they've never heard of Naboo and they think this is doomed to fail somehow. We're trying to convince them that Naboo will end up generating a lot of wealth over the course of the next few decades, but they're not really willing to look ahead that far. And there are separate negotiations with a company called Outer Rim Construction and Assembly, and we might need to get acknowledgement from the Gungans - the underwater nation - and we have to get some absurdly overcomplicated paperwork through various Republic committees in order to register all of this. So we have to also get all of these groups to talk with each other, and the whole thing has just fallen into chaos."

Asatyyl finds all of this fascinating, and is trying not to be too disappointed that this is probably not the beginning of an interdimensional trade alliance.

"Yes, I've found that as distasteful as it is, bribes are the only way anything ever gets done in some places. Sometimes you're lucky to be able to buy access with something as straightforward as money, and not more esoteric currencies like high-context status symbols or interminable chains of favors.

Coordinating that many different interest groups on one project sounds like a nightmare. I can only hope that you're able to find at least an individual or two in each that's really on board with the idea, that sort of interpersonal connection often helps immensely in my experience.

Which group would you expect to be the most intractable, if you could get all the others to a place where they're coordinating to an acceptable degree?"

"Well, the Gungans seem to be the least likely to cooperate, because they have a very strong grudge against the humans - that's the other group, the most common species in the galaxy. But luckily, the Gungans aren't essential to the project. They would help us get started faster, because they already have plenty of ships and facilities around the core, but we can build those ourselves if we can't come to an agreement."

"I have been trying to make personal connections. I'm close to various members of the nobility in Naboo; Senator Palpatine in particular is a close friend of mine. And while I wouldn't really call anyone in the Trade Federation my friends, we've dealt with each other many times before, which at least establishes some familiarity."

"Well, I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor. It's a blessing to the universe when you can get that many organizations to agree on something long enough to access a new resource for the good of all involved.

Actually, you mentioned a Trade Federation you need to convince, that they're not necessarily interested in a decades-long investment. Is that usual for them? How long has this federation been around? Are they a tyoe of multi-planet trade alliance, how extensive is their influence?"

"They have some level of economic involvement with around half of the galaxy? For over a century, they've been the most efficient interplanetary shipping organization by far, and they've also helped fund many successful startups in exchange for fairly high shares of the profits. They also provide defense against piracy, and own several major galactic businesses. By now they're enormous; they have more employees than most planets have citizens, and that's despite most of their work being droid-operated. They actually have their own Senator."

"But yes, it is quite concerning that they're not willing to look ahead to what might bring profits in the future. It's not that it wouldn't benefit the Federation as a whole, it's just that nobody wants to take responsibility for something that won't pay out for decades. They won't get promotions or bonuses until their projects succeed, so they just stick with things that'll earn a few easily measurable credits by the end of the year. And if it fails two years out, they'll have already moved on. That's only the beginning of the awful system of incentives in the Federation, but nobody on the inside really cares about fixing it."

"Yikes, that sounds like a death spiral waiting to happen. It's bad enough when you can't convince someone to act in their own self-interest, but its worse when your own success depends on them doing so. You can accomplish quite a lot with the application of enough intelligence and hard work, though, and you seem to be well supplied with both.

You really don't have anything going on in your life that's not work related? What's just day-to-day living like where you're from?"

Plagueis shrugs. "For me, mostly just trying to figure out what the midi-chlorians are doing, while being frequently interrupted by meetings. But on average, I've saved hundreds of lives per day, through a combination of some minor cures I've developed and businesses that have decreased poverty... it's not worth it to waste time having fun, being happy, when I could be helping more people."

"What sort of things do you do?"

"Well, saving lives is never a bad way to spend your life, if you can do it. I suppose you could say I have a hard time putting my work away myself, sometimes. I often research other planets and their cultures just because they're interesting, regardless of whether were anywhere close to opening formal diplomatic relations with them. Other than that--I spend time with my family, when I can; I have eight older half-siblings from my father's previous partners, and they're all usually up to something worth talking about. There's a musician I follow, Luchyyl, she's a singer from Raishenzë who's become popular in multiple star systems--half her albums are in Naradese these days. She's wonderful.

Recently I've been exploring traditional Oukhim hunting practices--taking down game with nothing but your own speed, strength, teeth and claws." The tips of his own outer hands are currently well filed down and manicured, but could be sharpened to a wicked point if he had a mind to. "There's a game reserve on the planet Beradon I hope to visit one day, actually get to experience it for myself."

"As far as my actual job goes, it actually got quite a bit more exciting than usual recently. We've had ties to a loose alliance of local planets for a while now, but things have gotten a bit shaky between a few of the other members. We thought it would be worth branching out, making some new contacts. We had a meeting with the Nekk--they're a fairly notable trade and manufacturing power. Their reputation isn't the best--their government is known for its corruption and they engage in some rather unsavory industrial practices--but we thought it was better to have a relationship that we had some chance of exerting control over, than leaving them as an unknown quantity.

My superior Ketosyl and I agreed to travel to Fensattemis, one of the Nekk colony planets, to meet with one of their representatives. I thought it was going well at first--we seemed to be finding common ground,  ways that we could benefit each other.

Before long, though, the entire thing went wrong. I don't think they ever had any intention of negotiating in good faith. I think they figured they could get a better deal out of our Queen with us as hostages. Their guards attacked us and attempted to take us prisoner. They used some truly awful chemical weapons, something psychoactive. I think at one point Ketosyl and I were trying to fight each other, rather than our enemies.

Fortunately, I think the translation implant in my brain disrupted whatever was going on long enough that I could think clearly, and I escaped with Ketosyl in tow. The local guide we'd hired was thankfully not a great lover of the Nekk presence on his planet, and helped us make it back to our ship and off the planet.

I came back from the encounter pretty torn up, though. I'd been recovering when I found this place."

"Hmm. So is the translation imp- no, my language isn't from your universe, I think that's just Milliways. But do you have any idea of what else the implant does? I would think a translation implant would just act as an additional source of memory, which I wouldn't expect to interfere with what I assume would be just a very large release of neurotransmitters connected to anger. Does the implant have any direct control of your thoughts?"

"Also, what sorts of things usually stand out to you, when you're looking at other planets?"

"I am not the person to ask about how it all worked out, honestly; it's only a personal theory. Normally the implant just downloads translation programs and feeds them to the language centers of my brain. It doesn't exactly control my thoughts, but there is somewhat of a learning process in letting it feed me the muscle memory needed to pronounce words correctly. You have to sort if relax into it? And I wouldn't know about whether it has deeper neurotransmitter effects.

When I study different planets, I like to see how different cultures and species narrativize their interpersonal relationships. It's amazing how people can interpret the same interaction so differently depending on their prior assumptions. It"s also fascinating to see how a planets environment can shape the species that evolve there, both physically and culturally."

Plagueis nods. "I don't really know much about how any people typically have interpersonal relationships. As for planetary environments influencing cultures... hmm. I suppose on Mygeeto, just the planet being so cold probably influenced something; there's a much larger need for heating than in most areas of the galaxy, although I don't know offhand how that would have affected our culture, beyond just the economy. I know that the native species to Mygeeto, the Lurmens, still have thick fur to this day."

"Since even the areas that aren't frozen are covered with rocks and crystals instead of much in the way of nature, the people who lived on Mygeeto had difficulty surviving, at least until seven thousand years ago. That was when the rest of the galaxy found it, and they had plenty of uses for all of those minerals - there were even spires of kyber crystals. There was actually a bit of a war for the planet, between all sorts of groups who wanted to conquer it, and... well, the Muuns won." He sighs. "Unfortunately, the Lurmens ended up enslaved for some time, and even now they aren't very well off, even with the rest of the planet being wealthy."

"Interesting! Is a kyber crystal a particularly valuable mineral? What uses does it have in your technology?"