...okay, yeah, Shadow has no response to that. 

He looks a bit distracted for a few seconds, then says, "What art movement do you think best represented the humanity of man?"

"Vocab fail; do you mean, like, which books do I most agree with about human nature? Also if that was meant to imply something about which autarkoid group you're with I failed at that too." She seems completely unbothered by this.

Vocab fail! Fuck, this bitch has read him as a beta.

"No, which art movement do you think best reflects human nature?" he says, trying to make it sound like he thinks she's an idiot. 

"All the art movements are made by humans! And presumably most people making statements about human nature are reporting their own experiences and hyperpriors accurately. The art that most accurately reflects my hyperpriors and experiences . . . I think I'd say Piterry Chett's Cube Planet series? He really captures the way everyone is the protagonist of their own life story and a major character in some other people's life stories and a minor character in a lot more, and how most conflicts are about fundamentally well-meaning people pursuing their own visions of personal and universal flourishing. How about you, what would you say to that question?"

"Real Housewives."

"You know what really reflects human nature, is that we've got so many books you can't have a conversation about books anymore because no two people have read the same stuff. Which is to say:", she concludes apologetically, "I have no idea what the philosophical premises of Real Housewives are because I never read it."

... ... ... ... 

Okay well this girl is a bitch and he needed to drop in a qualifying routine anyway, so he pivots to that. 

"Well, that's too bad, because it's my favorite TV show. I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that I don't think it's going to work out between us... I think we're going to have to break up."

"Well, if I made a new friend at every event I'd have more friends than I know what to do with. I hope you find someone with better taste in shows!" Her tone is genuine encouragement, with mild regret at the failure to make friends but deliberately cheerful to avoid causing empathetic sadness.

Okay yeah Shadow knows when he's blown out. "Nice to meet you!" he says.

He goes to the bar to order a drink.

The band starts into their next song as he walks over; it's from the perspective of someone meeting someone else at a party and talking late into the night and being excited to meet again soon. At one point near the end of the song the characters hold hands. People dance again; the ones who came here as couples smile sappily at each other.

The bartender nods in acknowledgement and points at the box of laminated paper menus in case he prefers that to the big list over the bar. Either way, this bar has apple juice, apple cider, orange juice, grape juice, pomegranate juice, guava juice, pineapple juice, lemonade, coconut water, carbonated water, soda, sekanjabin, gatorade, a large selection of possible fruit/nut/chocolate/etc milkshake options (soy milk by default; cow's milk costs extra), and stupidly expensive eggnog. Also you can add your preferred quantity of capsaicin to any drink for an extra 50¢.

The food section lists all the milkshakes and eggnog again, plus variously toppinged french fries, onion rings, fried pickles, fried jalapenos, soy chicken nuggets, and tater tots.

..."Can I get a beer?"

The bartender looks puzzled. "I don't think we've got that."

"...anything with alcohol?"

"Not, like, for drinking. I have hand sanitizer."

Wh. What is this bar. How is he supposed to get laid under these conditions.

No wonder that girl was such a bitch.

He considers leaving but instead decides to try dancing and see if he can pick up a girl that way.

What kind of dancing is he doing this time?

He more-or-less mimics what everyone else is doing and adds some of the cooler moves he's learned by observing better dancers at clubs. 

A couple of people attempt to synchronize with him.

He positions himself in front of the hottest girl dancing with him, makes eye contact with a slight smile, grabs her hand (being careful to use a medium amount of pressure), and continues dancing. 

She startles like she stepped on a Lego and almost pulls her hand away, then puts on a determined expression and gets back into the rhythm, still holding hands.

She's darker-skinned than the previous girl, with obviously dyed firetruck-red braids down past her waist and an elaborate geometric pattern of glitter paint on her arms. She's wearing a sequined jacket and skirt combo with black boots that probably go up to her knees under the skirt.

O...... kay.

He is getting hella blown out tonight.

He's going to dance long enough that he's not obviously slinking away in shame, slink away in shame, order a milkshake, and sit down while attempting to look cool.

The milkshake is good, at least. The next time there's a break between songs a woman (late 20s, vaguely Asian, shoulder-length hair in a rhinestone-encrusted headband, jeans, baggy sweater knitted out of sparkly yarn) sits down two stools over and orders a 1500-Scoville eggnog. 

"Hey. You social tonight?"

Fuck YEAH. He has been APPROACHED by a GIRL. 

"I was thinking of heading out," he says coolly. "Places like this are so fake."

She looks at him with enormous grey eyes, and then back at her drink. "What places are realest, for you?"

"When I'm painting somewhere beautiful, like at the top of the mountain. What about you, what do you do?"