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why wouldn't evil iomedaens be a thing?
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Aspexia Rugatonn is also, somehow, approximately fine, for definitions of "approximately fine" that include being dead, in Hell, sitting across from the Infernal Duke to whom Asmodeus has entrusted the day-to-day management of her soul. She's not, at this moment, being tortured, which even by the standards of Cheliax (to say nothing of the standards of Hell) probably qualifies as "approximately fine".

She's actually sitting on a very comfortable couch in a very well-appointed mansion, if one ignores the gruesomeness of some of the decor and also the pit fiend in the other chair.

"My lord," she says. "What would our Lord Asmodeus have of me?" And also why have I not been resurrected but one doesn't ask that of the devil who owns one's soul.

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To him, interacting with a soul he owns, there's not actually that much difference between things she says to him and things she thinks to herself.

"You haven't been resurrected because the remains of your body were lost in the Astral Plane, and there is, as I expect you know, no other cleric in Cheliax or allied with them who can cast the True Resurrection."

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They're supposed to have scrolls.

"My lord. If it please you, I would like to know how I died, and what has come to pass in Cheliax since then."

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He laughs. "It involved a great deal of what one might call—cheating. It is my nature as a devil to appreciate such things for their own sake, but you may not."

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Is he doing this to torment her because if so she would like a different torment that is definitely not something you think where a devil can hear you.

"Tell me."

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"Of course I am doing this to torment you but there is, also, a point. We'll get there when I've had my fun.

"Felandriel Morgethai infiltrated Abrogail Thrune's coronation ball, passing the Forbiddance on your palace by, we believe, having herself Maledicted, so as to temporarily read Lawful Evil at a level deeper than that normally targeted by false aura spells. She went about pretending to be the Queen pretending to be a foreign noblewoman until you approached her, and then hit you with a surprise heightened Disintegrate. She then escaped into the Astral Plane via a Bag of Holding, which as you know function even in Forbiddances, scattering your ashes there.

"We were, of course, aware that this behavior of Bags of Holding was exploitable, but it is not generally in our Lord's nature to petition Pharasma to have exploits patched."

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She does have any Asmodean appreciation of this sort of cleverness, but also fuck Abrogail Thrune and fuck Alter Self and fuck Felandriel Morgethai and fuck Disintegrate and fuck Bags of Holding and fuck—she is too corrigible to be capable of completing that thought.

"—and then they raised me with a scroll of True Resurrection, except that obviously that did not, in fact, happen."

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"Morgethai returned to Egorian and Disjoined the palace Forbiddance, at which point Andoran Teleported in a small army to serve as a distraction while they assassinated all but four of our Lord's seventh-circle clerics in various manners not Resurrectable, and in many cases not True Resurrectable—for example, Flesh to Stone followed by more Bag of Holding tricks to scatter the statues in the Astral Plane, or in one case baleful Teleport to the House of Oblivion. Meanwhile all of Cheliax's major temples, while their high-level clerics were away for the coronation, were looted of their scrolls by adventurers presumably in Andoran's employ.

"You have, actually, Queen Abrogail to thank, that Cheliax was not wholly deprived of the lesser Resurrection as well as the True one. It was she who discerned the Andorens' motives and ordered our Lord's remaining clerics protected.

"—and then Gorthoklek cast Wish, and the battle was over rather quickly after that, notwithstanding that Morgethai managed to escape. I suppose that, while it's said that one doesn't become a ninth-circle wizard by running away, one also doesn't become a ninth-circle wizard by not running away from pit fiends."

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"—there are scrolls not kept in temples," she says, but her voice is smaller now.

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"Indeed! They didn't get any of the hidden scrolls. They did, however, get all the people who know where the scrolls are hidden."

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Okay, this one is her fault, for sharing critical secrets with the people would obviously be expected to know, and only them. When she gets back, the locations of the new hidden scrolls are going to be told to a bunch of random slaves geased not to think about it unless she's killed.

If she gets back.

"You seem to know, my lord," she points out.

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"I do know, because as your soul's owner the contents of your mind are mine to examine. But for me, or the owner of the other knowing soul who made it to Hell rather than being a statue in the Astral Plane, to convey that knowledge back to Golarion on your behalf, would be an intervention outside the usual framework of things. It would be what one might call cheating, and not the fun kind. By ancient agreement, the other gods could demand payment equal to what their followers would have gained had it not occurred."

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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"What...do they want...?"

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"A simpler question in this case than most, because several major churches with ninth-circle clerics have already named their prices to True Resurrect you. The Church of Sarenrae, predictably, demands that Cheliax recognize the independence of Andoran, and affirm their separate and equal station among the powers of Golarion, blah blah blah—there's more but you're familiar with their independence demands, the Sarenrites repeat all of them. The Church of Abadar demands that Cheliax cease and desist from backing its currency with souls, which is expected to be even worse for our Lord's interests than releasing Andoran. No one knows what Nefreti Clepati wants but I personally predict it would also be bad for Asmodeus' interests. The Kuthite response to the situation can be summarized as 'fuck you'. These offers have been conveyed to the Queen of Cheliax and she has conveyed to Hell that it's your choice.

"To the other offers, however, I would add my own: stay here with me in Hell, and you shall not be tormented, you shall be my honored guest and not my slave, as long as the Infernal Empire remains upon Golarion; elsewise, when you return to my possession, you shall find no such mercy." The offer is, of course, meant as a torment of its own; he knows she won't take it.

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No, a stay of torment for as long as Infernal Cheliax exists without her is not, in fact, a particularly attractive offer.

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"—Andoran," she says.

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