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"That's just... kind of how I am," he says. And then he sighs. "The problem being that I'm not like that when I can torture somebody regularly, so I have to act calm whenever I'm out there or someone's going to notice."

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"It wasn't such a problem before my Anaseverina died, but ever since then..." He shrugs.

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Nod nod. Sigh. "How bad does it have to get before it qualifies as torture on the relevant level?"

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"...why, are you offering?"

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"If not torturing anyone risks us getting caught and not being able to kill Savaross and it's not more than I can handle then yes."

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"...even if it wasn't more than you can handle, I'm not sure if - you might have a harder time working with me afterward, and then we'd be kind of fucked."

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"I think you're underestimating what I'll put up with to see him dead."

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"I think you're underestimating how much this stuff can fuck with you."

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"So -"

He runs his hands through his hair in a gesture of frustration.

"- if it turns out that enough to make me feel better is enough to make it harder to work with me - not even that you couldn't, just that it distracted you while I was trying to teach you stuff - then we'd just be trading one problem for another, it wouldn't really help anything. And it'd be a bad idea to do it again but we'd still be stuck with you being distracted."

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"Okay," she shrugs. "If it doesn't work then it doesn't work. I guess animals aren't enough?"

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"They help some but - no, not really."

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"Okay. Keep doing your best to hide it, then, I guess."

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"Yeah."

It continues to be difficult.

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She continues to improve, both at her licit curriculum and the pain spell and power-ripping.

One day there is an extremely obvious disturbance in the tower's wards.

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...well that's sure interesting.

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Savaross apparently thinks so too because he is gone for a week dealing with it.

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Well, good. More time to practice what's necessary to kill him, and less time spent pretending Sairu is torturing her.

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They do actually still have to keep up the pretense to everyone else, but yes.

 

Someone asks him if Ikera belongs to him.

"Yes!" he says, smiling an aren't-you-glad-you-asked smile.

People tend to leave her alone after that.

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"What context am I missing?" she asks when they're alone.

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"I don't like it when people mess with my stuff. I had to make that point a few times while I had my Anaseverina, but I made it very effectively. So if I say you're mine, people think twice before trying to rape you or something."

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"...That being otherwise a concern."

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"Yeah."

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"Cesspit," she mutters.

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