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Purple&White Firefly Fusion
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"I miss you. You're right here and I miss you and you could be--not this--and you're not and I'm angry but I know why and--I just. I don't know how to deal with this.

It should have been me. I should have died instead of Cardea. You'd be alright if I had died."

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He sighs. He rubs his face with both hands.

"I'm just so - tired," he says.

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"You think I'm not?"

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"My father. My wife. My planet. My war," he recites softly. "All I have left is two friends I don't deserve."

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"I know I didn't love her like you did but that doesn't mean I didn't love her."

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He lifts one hand slightly in a vague wave that encompasses the room they are currently in, and perhaps the planet they are currently on.

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"I know. I know. I know how lucky I am, but--

I can't say none of them would have wanted this because you know that, it's not the point--if you're all that's left, don't they deserve better, but I don't want to put that on your shoulders too--"

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Sargon stares thoughtfully at Anwar.

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"--I need to be not here. I'll be back. In an amount. Of time."

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"All right."

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She leaves.

She goes downstairs and finds a pillow and curls up and screams into it until her voice goes hoarse.

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Oh, poor girl.

Edie comes in a few seconds in and tentatively places a hand on her daughter's shoulder. When it isn't shrugged off she hugs her.

She doesn't say anything, even when the screaming stops.

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"I love you," Erika says a few minutes after she finishes.

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"I love you too. Always. Forever. More than anything."

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"I know.

You and Dad are the only people who love me who wouldn't be better off if I had died instead of Cardea Newton."

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"Is that what that was about?"

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Nod. "I need to not be a bitch about it to Anwar but it's hard. I just want to snap him out of it--"

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"I know. I know it's hard. But you're strong. You're one of the strongest people I know. And sometimes that strength gets misaimed, and you need someone to help you get it back on target. But you are so, so strong. You can do this."

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"Yeah." Deep breath. "I survived the Battle for Serenity Valley. I can do this."

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"I should go back before Sargon gets worried or something. I love you."

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"I love you. Go back to your friends," Edie says.

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"Yeah."

She does that.

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Sargon appears to be deep in thought.

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"I'm sorry about that outburst," she tells Anwar, less because she expects him to care and more because she wishes he would.

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