“You’re staring at it again,” said a voice.

The Archangel Michael stood a short distance away. Beside them was an angel unknown by Aziraphale with only one arm, carrying a stack of files with their single hand.

“Oh,” said Aziraphale. “Yes. Just thinking.”

“Thinking seems to be implicitly prohibited in Heaven.” Michael managed to squeeze as much satire as possible in her voice without moving a face muscle, though it was unclear whom this satire is to.

“I would like to politely inform you that as the Second Coming is nigh, it would not be productive if you, the First Principality of Heaven, just stand there and think.”

“Well, I suppose that you should be thinking too! We’re going to, um, fight a great war against Hell, according to you! Doesn’t a military operation need clear strategic thinking? Though in my point of view that can be done much more peacefully. Just get Jesus speak in front of the UN and broadcast his word to all humanity.”

“I’m afraid Jesus Himself has stated His opinion. ‘Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.’” 

“But that’s just a metaphor, right?” Aziraphale’s pitch went high, “He’s been all like ‘Peace be unto you’ even after resurrection. He didn’t actually start a war.”

“Except the nine crusades.”

“But…but he can’t foresee this happen. That’s after a thousand years!”

“I doubt that He can’t. There are prophecies. Nice ones, though not exactly accurate, back in His time. To tell prophecies from mere rumors is not easy work, except for the prophet themself.”

The other angel twisted uneasily, balancing the pile of file with their hand and stump. That was duly noticed by their superior.

“Speak.”

“Em, I would like to report that something… odd, happened on Earth, since the last…  last Apocalypse.” They almost uttered the informal alias, “Armadidn’t”.

“Continue.”

“Ok, so, we observed that Earth seems to have become more, reasonable. Unusually reasonable, it’s like everything makes sense. Casuality caused by angelic and demonic arrival were reported to human police. Possibilities with one in a million probability won't automatically happen for dramatic effect. The missing Atlantican and Tibetan population became unsolved mysteries under investigation, so are the UFOs. To our disappointment, evil ceased to produce the seeds of its own destruction, it functions exactly same as good and amoral mechanisms.”

“That is weird.” Aziraphale thought aloud: “Especially the probability normality.”

After that he wisely chose silence, lest there be blasphemy.

“I thought that’s the least important.” said the other angel.

“And I think it’s time to send you down to Earth again, most honorable Supreme Archangel. You are the angel most familiar with Earth, I’m sure you can investigate that with sufficient competence. It would be even better if you maybe take a break from fraternizing with that snake, I daresay. I’ll sign the papers today. You may go. Please.”

Their voice was lethally calm with only the slightest hint of satire. 

“And you, why didn’t your office report this to us three years ago?”

The other angel was visibly trembling. The pile of file nearly collapsed.

A small miracle stabilized it and somehow conveyed a sense of a head pat. 

Before that, another small miracle had quieted the air as the First Principality and Supreme Archangel of Heaven couldn’t help but let out a little “Yeeep!”  

Somewhere else, at another time

Three people, who had served Nazi Germany and died and revived as zombies, were conscious.