wibta For canceling a beloved childern's figure over something that happened in the 80s, but that I have enough evidence to take to the police?
Throw away account, obviously:
I went to one of *those* boarding schools back in the 80s. I'm going to talk around a bunch of things and fudge a few details with spiritually similar things from other schools because I *do not* want to be identified, and there was eventually enough news coverage that if this gets popular at least some of you will have seen it.
So most of the staff were pretty bad, and one guy (my rapist among many other things) was so bad we literally thought he was the devil. Which he actively played into with his creepy fucking hell puns, but this is not about him this is about the guy who (I thought) never did anything like that and (mostly ineffectually) went to bat for us on a lot of things. Like he really pushed back on how much everyone used racial slurs which sounds really minor compared to the physical abuse (cause it was), but we had kids with lynching victims in their families having the serious ones thrown right at them so ya know.
Right anyway, my friend group was the weird queers who were too faggy or in the case of my friend 'Lilly' too brave/stupid to hide it. So, Lily had the 'nice' teacher for one of the classes where I got stuck with the literal devil (who, actually no this is not about him but think The Wall in terms of what his version of this class was like).
So one day she has an 'accident', that we kind assumed was her getting hate crimed again. Then lying about it trying to keep me and my not exactly boyfriend from getting into another brawl because we went 'too far' over the last incident (sorry, not sorry, hope you still walk funny dickhead).
So recently, we were back on the lets talk about it part of our cycle of traumdumping and pretending we are friends for normal reasons, and she opened up that actually it was the 'nice' teacher. During a just barely related lecture he went onto a whole tangent about how he took a vow of religious chastity, and that it was difficult, but that he wholeheartedly recommended it to anyone else who was 'unsuited to marriage or overly tempted by the grave sin of homosexuality', which honestly explains a lot about him, but he was staring right at her the whole time (this was the 80s so when she said she was a "trans-sexual" as we did back then what they heard was "I'm the extra icky type of faggot")(and people ask me why it took till the late 90s for me to transition when it was so obvious Lilly clocked me as an egg during our first homeroom together). Right well after that she used the actual class topic to pull a 'just asking questions' about how his religion was bs. So he called her up to the front of the class and punched her in the face so hard she hit the ground.
The school has been significantly reformed (not that I trust it), in part because Mr. Nice Guy blew the whistle as soon as cultural shifts and collaboration from now adult alumni he kept in touch with made that was actually viable. And he is the lynchpin of a really cool charity that helps a lot of kids and would struggle if he just retired let alone got forced out in a scandal and blew their reputation.
But also he's never apologized (though tbf Lily hasn't directly asked), and while he is mostly admin he technically still works with children.
Anyway, we are all so fucked up by school that we rely on each other for dealing with things about it so we don't have to think about any of our own specific trauma too much. So she came to me, but honestly I just don't know. He probably saved multiple lives by helping as much as he did, and still does some great work that I don't want to stop, I actually volunteered with him for awhile. But like, he literally punched a kid for being queer and not rolling over when he tried to bully her for it. So should I go to the police and or press with this?

wibta For canceling a beloved childern's figure over something that happened in the 80s, but that I have enough evidence for  to take to the police?
Throw away account, obviously:
I went to one of *those* boarding schools back in the 80s. I'm going to talk around a bunch of things and fudge a few details with spiritually similar things from other schools because I *do not* want to be identified, and there was eventually enough news coverage that if this gets popular at least some of you will have seen it.
So most of the staff were pretty bad, and one guy (my rapist among many other things) was so bad we literally thought he was the devil. Which he actively played into with his creepy fucking hell puns, but this is not about him this is about the guy who (I thought) never did anything like that and (mostly ineffectually) went to bat for us on a lot of things. Like he really pushed back on how much everyone used racial slurs which sounds really minor compared to the physical abuse (cause it was), but we had kids with lynching victims in their families having the serious ones thrown right at them so ya know.
Right anyway, my friend group was the weird queers who were too faggy or in the case of my friend 'Lilly' too brave/stupid to hide it. So, Lily had the 'nice' teacher for one of the classes where I got stuck with the literal devil (who, actually no this is not about him but think The Wall in terms of what his version of this class was like).
So one day she has an 'accident', that we kind assumed was her getting hate crimed again. Then lying about it trying to keep me and my not exactly boyfriend from getting into another brawl because we went 'too far' over the last incident (sorry, not sorry, hope you still walk funny dickhead).
So recently, we were back on the lets talk about it part of our cycle of traumdumping and pretending we are friends for normal reasons, and she opened up that actually it was the 'nice' teacher. During a just barely related lecture he went onto a whole tangent about how he took a vow of religious chastity, and that it was difficult, but that he wholeheartedly recommended it to anyone else who was 'unsuited to marriage or overly tempted by the grave sin of homosexuality', which honestly explains a lot about him, but he was staring right at her the whole time (this was the 80s so when she said she was a "trans-sexual" as we did back then what they heard was "I'm the extra icky type of faggot")(and people ask me why it took till the late 90s for me to transition when it was so obvious Lilly clocked me as an egg during our first homeroom together). Right well after that she used the actual class topic to pull a 'just asking questions' about how his religion was bs. So he called her up to the front of the class and punched her in the face so hard she hit the ground.
The school has been significantly reformed (not that I trust it), in part because Mr. Nice Guy blew the whistle as soon as cultural shifts and collaboration from now adult alumni he kept in touch with made that was actually viable. And he is the lynchpin of a really cool charity that helps a lot of kids and would struggle if he just retired let alone got forced out in a scandal and blew their reputation.
But also he's never apologized (though tbf Lily hasn't directly asked), and while he is mostly admin he technically still works with children.
Anyway, we are all so fucked up by school that we rely on each other for dealing with things about it so we don't have to think about any of our own specific trauma too much. So she came to me, but honestly I just don't know. He probably saved multiple lives by helping as much as he did, and still does some great work that I don't want to stop, I actually volunteered with him for awhile. But like, he literally punched a kid for being queer and not rolling over when he tried to bully her for it. So should I go to the police and or press with this?

wibta For canceling a beloved children's  figure over something that happened in the 80s, but that I have enough evidence happened for me to take it to the police?
Throw away account, obviously:
I went to one of *those* boarding schools back in the 80s. I'm going to talk around a bunch of things and fudge a few details with spiritually similar things from other schools because I *do not* want to be identified, and there was eventually enough news coverage that if this gets popular at least some of you will have seen it.
So most of the staff were pretty bad, and one guy (my rapist among many other things) was so bad we literally thought he was the devil. Which he actively played into with his creepy fucking hell puns, but this is not about him this is about the guy who (I thought) never did anything like that and (mostly ineffectually) went to bat for us on a lot of things. Like he really pushed back on how much everyone used racial slurs which sounds really minor compared to the physical abuse (cause it was), but we had kids with lynching victims in their families having the serious ones thrown right at them so ya know.
Right anyway, my friend group was the weird queers who were too faggy or in the case of my friend 'Lilly' too brave/stupid to hide it. So, Lily had the 'nice' teacher for one of the classes where I got stuck with the literal devil (who, actually no this is not about him but think The Wall in terms of what his version of this class was like).
So one day she has an 'accident', that we kind of assumed was her getting hate crimed again. Then lying about it trying to keep me and my not exactly boyfriend from getting into another brawl because we went 'too far' over the last incident (sorry, not sorry, hope you still walk funny dickhead).
So recently, we were back on the lets talk about it part of our cycle of traumdumping and pretending we are friends for normal reasons, and she opened up that actually it was the 'nice' teacher. During a just barely related lecture he went onto a whole tangent about how he took a vow of religious chastity, and that it was difficult, but that he wholeheartedly recommended it to anyone else who was 'unsuited to marriage or overly tempted by the grave sin of homosexuality', which honestly explains a lot about him, but he was staring right at her the whole time (this was the 80s so when she said she was a "trans-sexual" as we did back then what they heard was "I'm the extra icky type of faggot")(and people ask me why it took till the late 90s for me to transition when it was so obvious Lilly clocked me as an egg during our first homeroom together). Right well after that she used the actual class topic to pull a 'just asking questions' about how his religion was bs. So he called her up to the front of the class and punched her in the face so hard she hit the ground.
The school has been significantly reformed (not that I trust it), in part because Mr. Nice Guy blew the whistle as soon as cultural shifts and collaboration from now adult alumni he kept in touch with made that actually viable. And he is the lynchpin of a really cool charity that helps a lot of kids and would struggle if he just retired let alone got forced out in a scandal and blew their reputation.
But also he's never apologized (though tbf Lily hasn't directly asked), and while he is mostly admin he technically still works with children.
Anyway, we are all so fucked up by school that we rely on each other for dealing with things about it so we don't have to think about any of our own specific trauma too much. So she came to me, but honestly I just don't know. He probably saved multiple lives by helping as much as he did, and still does some great work that I don't want to stop, I actually volunteered with him for awhile. But like, he literally punched a kid for being queer and not rolling over when he tried to bully her for it. So should I go to the police and or press with this?

wibta For canceling a beloved children's  figure over something that happened in the 80s, but that I have enough evidence happened for me to take it to the police and media?
Throw away account, obviously:
I went to one of *those* boarding schools back in the 80s. I'm going to talk around a bunch of things and fudge a few details with spiritually similar things from other schools because I *do not* want to be identified, and there was eventually enough news coverage that if this gets popular at least some of you will have seen it.
So most of the staff were pretty bad, and one guy (my rapist among many other things) was so bad we literally thought he was the devil. Which he actively played into with his creepy fucking hell puns, but this is not about him this is about the guy who (I thought) never did anything like that and (mostly ineffectually) went to bat for us on a lot of things. Like he really pushed back on how much everyone used racial slurs which sounds really minor compared to the physical abuse (cause it was), but we had kids with lynching victims in their families having the serious ones thrown right at them so ya know.
Right anyway, my friend group was the weird queers who were too faggy or in the case of my friend 'Lilly' too brave/stupid to hide it. So, Lily had the 'nice' teacher for one of the classes where I got stuck with the literal devil (who, actually no this is not about him but think The Wall in terms of what his version of this class was like).
So one day she has an 'accident', that we kind of assumed was her getting hate crimed again. Then lying about it trying to keep me and my not exactly boyfriend from getting into another brawl because we went 'too far' over the last incident (sorry, not sorry, hope you still walk funny dickhead).
So recently, we were back on the lets talk about it part of our cycle of trauma dumping and pretending we are friends for normal reasons, and she opened up that actually it was the 'nice' teacher. During a just barely related lecture he went onto a whole tangent about how he took a vow of religious chastity, and that it was difficult, but that he wholeheartedly recommended it to anyone else who was 'unsuited to marriage or overly tempted by the grave sin of homosexuality', which honestly explains a lot about him, but he was staring right at her the whole time (this was the 80s so when she said she was a "trans-sexual" as we did back then what they heard was "I'm the extra icky type of faggot")(and people ask me why it took till the late 90s for me to transition when it was so obvious Lilly clocked me as an egg during our first homeroom together). Right well after that she used the actual class topic to pull a 'just asking questions' about how his religion was bs. So he called her up to the front of the class and punched her in the face so hard she hit the ground.
The school has been significantly reformed (not that I trust it), in part because Mr. Nice Guy blew the whistle as soon as cultural shifts and collaboration from now adult alumni he kept in touch with made that actually viable. And he is the lynchpin of a really cool charity that helps a lot of kids and would struggle if he just retired let alone got forced out in a scandal and blew their reputation.
But also he's never apologized (though tbf Lily hasn't directly asked), and while he is mostly admin he technically still works with children.
Anyway, we are all so fucked up by school that we rely on each other for dealing with things about it so we don't have to think about any of our own specific trauma too much. So she came to me, but honestly I just don't know. He probably saved multiple lives by helping as much as he did, and still does some great work that I don't want to stop, I actually volunteered with him for awhile. But like, he literally punched a kid for being queer and not rolling over when he tried to bully her for it. So should I go to the police and/or press with this?