"- gosh! I don't think we already have anyone in charge of that specifically, will the Secretary of State do?"

"The Secretary of State will be fine."

Behold the intoxicating feeling of power. Maybe the government isn't so bad.

"Just a moment! He's taking a dump."

Meng Yao is on hold for a minute, and then: "Secretary of State Antony Blinken here. You're from another universe? It's a good thing I just came out of the bathroom, I might have shit myself."

"Yes. Are visitors uncommon here?"

"I've never heard of one before! I guess maybe they happen pretty often and just usually catch a disease and die before they can tell anybody!"

"I'm certainly glad we didn't do that! We'd like to arrange for transport to an airport so we can have a meeting in private?"

"In private?"

"Well, right now we're in a hotel room in Kansas City and the front desk person could probably hear if he were determined."

"- so you want to meet in person for some reason instead?"

All of his instincts are wrong for this!

"In my home universe it is customary for important meetings to happen in person, would you mind accommodating us?"

"Sure, that's fine! I can have my assistant get you a plane ticket. Where are you coming from?"

"Kansas City, Missouri. We need one for myself, my husband, and our son."

"Okay, I'll have her get right on that. Do you need anything else?"

"Nope!" The government can figure out how to pay everyone back later probably.

"Okay! It's an honor to meet you!"

He calls a taxi while Meng Yao bounces Meng Xuanyu.

When the taxi driver arrives, Lan Xichen says, "My husband and I are both incredibly good-looking and we were wondering if you would be willing to accept some kind of sexual favors as payment instead of money."

What!

"Etiquette," he says serenely, "is about fitting in to local norms."

"I'm straight," says the taxi driver, though he doesn't seem particularly offended. "And trying to save up for my kid to go to college."

"All right. We don't have any money but we're working with the government on something that is not currently public knowledge and we expect that the government will be able to track everyone who helps us down and pay them back."

"Okay, but if you're not going to pay me today I want extra. I think I can probably get fifty percent extra because the government seems really careless about budgeting."

"I will tell the Secretary of State that you deserve that."

"Cool." And off they go to the airport.

Meng Xuanyu has AWOKEN and has PROTESTS.

"I think it's probably technically illegal to drive a baby around without a carseat but I expect you don't have any options that involve a carseat and I really want the fare," the driver says conversationally.