"Dubious. Very dubious."

"Well I can't be expected to understand how people with such alien motivations work."

"Failure of perspective-taking. Deficient empathy. Oh no."

"This is what happens when I skip my class on Remedial Ethics."

"You will have to study hard for the final if you want to pass."

"I really will. Will you help me study it? I might need a tutor."

"I could probably see my way to doing that."

"I am very benevolent. I am an advanced ethics student and everything."

"Ooo, advanced ethics. How fancy! What sorts of things do you learn about in Advanced Ethics?"

"Dumbledoring better than Dumbledore for fun and profit," says Bella, with authority.

Darren laughs. "Obviously I need to get into Advanced Ethics. Once I make sure I don't fail out of Remedial Ethics."

"First things first," admonishes Bella.

"Fine, fine, but I am just excited by the prospects and now I'm driven to achieve!"

"Ah, but are you driven to study? 'Why Not To Hold Up Convenience Stores: Chapter Six."

"I'll be driven to study. I'll change my ways, just watch, Bella!"

"I am skeptical."

"Because of my ongoing history of inability to perform well in ethical classes? Aww, but I can change!"

"I suppose you'll just have to prove it to me. Describe the main theme of Why Not To Rob Convenience Stores: Chapter Six."

"Because," says Darren, "not only does it put an innocent store owner in a lot of financial trouble, but it is overwhelmingly likely to end badly for the robber."

"Hmmm. Could have used some more elaboration. B-plus."

"I'll take it!"

"Yes, that's really the best you can hope for as a remedial student. What are you going to write your midterm essay about?"

"Hmmm. Chapter seven's section on 'Why arson is bad.'"

"What's your thesis statement?"