They are back clear of baffling dath ilani talk about exactly what you want to be getting out of sex until you're far too bored to have it territory and back in normal person territory, where Yaisa does in fact know what she's doing, and what she's doing is twitching and making satisfying noises and sliding her hands under Keltham's shirt so she can cling to him and hypothesizing in the back of her head that Carissa Sevar's entire secret is that she's as neurotic as Keltham and equally impaired in actually just enjoying herself. Which doesn't seem like a qualification to sleep with the Queen, to Yaisa, but no one asked Yaisa.

He breaks it off eventually, feeling shaken by the intensity with which that just happened, but also knowing that this is the way he must follow to not be helplessly mentally stuck in dath ilan for the rest of his second life.

"I," says Keltham in something of a growl, "need to actually go do my work.  My brain apparently is not willing to believe, not in the way of doubting your honesty, but in the way of being unable to visualize it, that you could actually stay up here masturbating for hours and not get bored.  So what you're actually going to do is masturbate for ten minutes out of every hour, and you are allowed to do it other places than here.  I will come and take you when my work is done."

"I'm paying you two gold pieces for a day's sex work, that I elect to use so, and I might pay you that again in the future if I ask you to do anything that takes up a day, not because I want to have no bond of friendship otherwise between us, but to see if I can successfully make that part of my brain shut up."

"If you're worried about that slow start to things, go ask Carissa how fast I can escalate."

"I wouldn't describe myself as worried," Yaisa says, but she doesn't stand up.

He has now learned the Golarion custom of kissing, so he will kiss her fiercely a bit, and bite her lip some, before he goes.

(Earlier in the Conspiracy planning room:)

Carissa:  ...problem is that it didn't happen that way in alterCheliax. You don't need astuteness or connections to get through school; average performers are just average, and wouldn't sleep with anyone to stay out of the bottom third, because why would they? No one's going to even punish them! 

Asmodia:  We don't want to give alterYaisa a background where she isn't slutty, though, because she is, and that's both visible to Keltham and useful to us.

Asmodia:  Can alterYaisa have just made a lot of friends at the academy by fucking around, and that's why she did it?  Non-Asmodeans end up friendlier after they do that, right?

Yaisa:  I was going to suggest 'I like nice stuff so I have sex with people for nice stuff.'  I think if I have sex with people so they'll be my friends I come across as incredibly gullible? 

Carissa:  Keltham won't cheat you, even if he is entirely sure he could get away with it and entirely sure you wouldn't notice and entirely sure if you noticed you'd think it was fair.

Asmodia:  Keltham is at some point going to figure out how it works in alterCheliax for people who aren't him, or who have to deal with non-Kelthams.  Do Yaisas in Taldor have sex for nice stuff, or sex for friends?

Yaisa:  I have literally no idea how I would even begin answering that question.

Yaisa:  It depends on whether having sex for friends is a thing that even works!

Yaisa:  And how nice the stuff is!

Yaisa:  And how nice the sex is!

Asmodia:  I was asking Sevar.

Carissa:   I think if they have sex at all their parents beat them and kick them out?

Asmodia:  That doesn't happen in post-Asmodean alterCheliax.

Asmodia:  Does it?

Carissa:  No, definitely not, but it means there's nowhere in the world to use as a reference.

Asmodia:  The Queen did say it was different for Elves.  And dragons.

Carissa:  Elves don't share a lot about their sex lives, I don't know what Elf teenagers get up to.  No one talks about Dwarf sex.

Asmodia:  Keltham seems to have respect for - sex workers, he called them - and no disgust at all, based on transcripts?  Arguendo:  We don't know whether alterCheliax could have contained a Yaisa who had sex to become friends with people, because we don't know if that's something that would have been a rewarding behavior for her.  AlterCheliax could definitely have had a Yaisa who was selling herself around while studying to be a wizard student.

Carissa:  - yeah, I'll authorize that.

Yaisa:  In that case I should be richer than the other girls.

Yaisa:  Because of all the money I made off selling myself.

Asmodia:  Depends on how good you were at it.

Asmodia:  And probably several other things too.  Whether you were selling to wizard students or teachers, I think students because teachers can get all the sex they want.  Whether you had to pay for a Remove Disease now and then.  Did you ever, by the way?

Yaisa:  No! 

Yaisa:  I don't think it's a very good story if I was a whore and bad at it.

Asmodia:  ...okay, we're at least running a Remove Disease on you before you fuck Keltham.

Asmodia:  And you wouldn't have offered anyone intercourse until you could perform Alter Self, so not until second-circle.  So you're not that experienced and you weren't that expensive.

Yaisa:  If we say I'm not that experienced and then I'm really good at sex, it'll be suspicious.

Asmodia:  ...I will trust you on that, keeping in mind that even on a low-punishment regimen I don't expect it to go well for you if you're exaggerating your competence.  Sevar, do you have any idea what Yaisa's price would have been and how wealthy she'd be now?

Carissa:  At the Worldwound she'd be rich.  In school, I dunno, she can start 80 gold ahead of the others.

Yaisa:  ...okay.

Asmodia:  She probably spent any of that money and now has any nice things.

Yaisa:  I will settle for having a lot more nice clothes than the rest of you.

Asmodia:  At least until the rest of us go shopping in a few days and buy even nicer clothes.

Asmodia:  How are we actually on it being safe to rush Yaisa off to Ostenso for shopping?  Do we think she gets scried, do we have somebody grab Yaisa's hair for Alter Self and go shopping in her place...

Carissa:  We should assume that foreign agents know all the girls by now, and might be scrying them.

Carissa:  We can send someone with her hair, though.

Asmodia:  Right then.  Does Yaisa have any other facts true about her that would be false in alterCheliax, and need to be altered to new facts of equivalent rarity there?

Yaisa:  Did I have sex with Elias Abarco earlier this week for a ride to Absalom or not?

Carissa:  You did not.

Carissa:  ....why did you do that.

Carissa:  He obviously wasn't going to take you to Absalom.

Yaisa:  Yeah but he's scary.

Carissa:  ......

Yaisa:  So how does the making Keltham Evil thing work?

Yaisa:  Do I just try to convince him to hurt me?

Carissa:  No, he's already suspicious that the conspiracy wants to make him Evil.  We're just lucky he doesn't see why the Conspiracy would do that.

Asmodia:  How does it work, then?  For Yaisa in particular, if not the whole plan.

Carissa:  Have sex with him and have fun with it.

Carissa:  The thing I want from Yaisa is for Keltham to become convinced masochists are definitely real.

Asmodia:  Why is everybody else's job so much easier than my job?

Carissa:  It's not trivial.  Keltham can read sexual reactions in particular much better than you'd expect, he's been trained in that.  Yaisa is being required to not fake reactions that she'd usually and habitually try to fake.  I sent her to Subirachs to get retrained in not doing that.

Asmodia:  Understood.

Yaisa:  Alter-Yaisa definitely tries to get Keltham to keep her as a slave-consort or whatever.

Carissa:  Don't use the word slave, but fine.

Asmodia:  ...didn't you say earlier, Yaisa, that you'd tell your slaves to lick your feet if you were in Keltham's position?

Yaisa:  Yeah, sorry, were we pretending slaves aren't a thing?  I thought we were just pretending they were mostly a kink thing.

Carissa:  Right. ....hmmm.  Slaves are a thing but the afterlives are nice so your slaves can always just check out for one of those if they'd rather.  Keltham will still be upset, but alterCheliax would both know slavery exists and have no real reason to hide it from Keltham.

Asmodia:  Does alterCheliax have slavery or just neighboring countries?

Carissa:  I think Osirion has slavery.  We could check what they do.

Carissa:  Since Lawful Neutral is a lot of what Lawful Evil is pretending to be, here.

Asmodia:  If Osirion does anything we think Keltham would accept, I'm a lot more comfortable with Cheliax doing that than trying to make it look like slaves don't exist here at all.  I don't know how much else that affects.

Carissa:  Agree.

Asmodia:  Summarizing, the plan is as follows.  We figure out what alterYaisa charged per fuck, how many times per week she did that, who with, with that matching around the range of people realYaisa actually had sex with.  Be ready to answer Keltham if he asks that straight out, it's the sort of thing he asks.

Asmodia:  That all goes up on the wall in orange.

Asmodia:  Then we figure how much alterYaisa earned, and how much she spent on clothes.  Also orange.  We send a body double to shop for her - secondhand things, so they don't look new and unused; but if alterYaisa would've originally bought them new, they should be costed against her current wealth as new.  We decide on a reason alterYaisa didn't already dress in those clothes, maybe she wants to surprise Keltham, maybe she's waiting for him to ask.

Asmodia:  'Slave' is a word with two meanings, one of which is a Keltham-acceptable sex thing, one of which is whatever Lawful Neutral thing they do in Osirion.  Orange.

Asmodia:  Yaisa is a real masochist who as alterYaisa shows Keltham her real reactions and only her real reactions, with us trusting in Keltham to perceive reality as reality.  Green, in a sense, though orange in that realYaisa would fake it more.

Asmodia:  Yaisa is cleared for AlterYaisa to get Keltham to try to keep her as a slave-consort.

Asmodia:  Did I miss anything?

Yaisa:  I can be wearing something nice under my uniform -

Carissa:  You didn't miss anything.  Let's send the shopper out today, Keltham indicated he was thinking of trying Yaisa next.

(Return to main thread.)