He makes a sound that is kind of like a sob. "And he would never have to know what it's like to see you hate someone."
"I leapt to conclusions, wasn't accounting for - people who weren't you doing things. For that matter, I panicked early. I got the letter and I was all set to flee over the border instead of show up and see what it was about."
"They weren't outrageous. But they weren't careful. I didn't sit and go through it methodically."
"Considering the circumstances... Kind of understandable," he says, miserably.
"Why can you understand the careless, stressed-out part of my thought process and have so much trouble believing the calmer part where I don't hate you anymore?"
"Because you just seem to be tolerating me and working with me in - businessy things, but nothing else."
"What else do you want me to do? I don't know what you want of me either."
Berathyme sighs. "He has not seen any evidence that you like him, or even respect him. He is not fishing for compliments. But he needs them," hisses the familiar.
"The spellchart for the hex was beautiful, I usually find twice as many things to tweak when I go over my first filled-in drafts - I am impressed by your work ethic in general, we have plenty of work for both of us and you were keeping up alone - you were more patient with those ridiculous protestors than I could have been, I would have made at least three snide jokes at their expense in the time you spent talking to them - if I were as miserable as you seem to be half the time I would have to stop and fix it before I could do much of anything else but you can't do that, it seems, and you're carrying on anyway, and I don't even know how you begin to do that let alone manage day after day - you pay attention to what needs doing and I know that wasn't careful royal upbringing because Zevros doesn't have a speck of that so you must have got there by yourself."
"Thank you," he says, sincerely and nearly sobbing.
"I'm working on it," sighs Edarial.
"The cat has not helped," hisses his familiar.
"Most of this," laughs Edarial, wincing, "has been about me, I'm sorry - is there something you need from me?"
"I'm not sure what you have to give. I'm - holding up, there are things I could use but they can wait till you're in a better place."
"Are you sure? Sometimes you ask me to tell you things and then it seems to make things worse. I don't want to make you worse. Especially not while you may have internal bleeding, that seems like exceptionally bad making-things-worse timing."