"Oh, is this when, thinking you have nothing left to lose, you tread upon my pride those few more steps, and tell me now those obvious truths that others dare not say for fear of me?  Go to it, then, let's see if you have anything new."

- fine, then. "You never took this a fraction as seriously as everyone around you was telling you it needed to be taken. Your staff are all idiots. The rumors about the project should never have happened. They need it to feel superior to the people who aren't allowed rumors? Send them all to the Worldwound, see what they need then. Project security at the villa was barely, barely competent to keep things from slipping and Security at the palace, even before you took everybody north this morning, was notably worse. Aspexia thought we could make the best of there being rumors about me, but I'm scryable, and frequently in a room with Keltham, it's actually a terrible idea for Lastwall to think I'm interesting!! Maybe the best of our terrible options at that point but an incredibly massive security failure which everyone was just casually indifferent about! Maillol would have done better, but at the palace he doesn't even really use his brain, because he expects everything to run on stupid games he's not good at. You should have your fucking capital at the Worldwound, is what you should do, nothing less than the dumb ones getting eaten by demons makes people realize they aren't special. Cheliax has been around for eighty years and doesn't know how to punish people in a way that makes them better at their jobs, what are we doing? Aspexia was the only person who understood how badly we are failing -"

Being lit on fire by Abrogail Thrune is not like being lit on fire by fifth-circle Security weaklings.  It actually hurts.

She loses her slaying-arrow-in-progress.

She screams. 

It's satisfying, though, in the incredibly hollow incredibly distant way that things can still be satisfying. 

As the saying goes:  If fire seems to help, try even more fire.

An interesting side effect of the headband is that you have more attention to occupy with being in horrible pain. 

A lot of people think of this as a downside, but Carissa doesn't have it in her, on a very fundamental level, to wish there was less of her. 

Which is - not an idea, she's in too much pain for an idea, but the threads of what might be able to turn into an idea once the pain stops.

Then she can be not on fire and have a Greater Infernal Healing.  Abrogail is always interested in detecting the thoughts of Carissa when she lets herself have any.

"Do you think," she says, once she can talk, "you are capable of hurting me enough I am ready for it to stop."

That is the most flirtatious thing that anyone has said to Abrogail Thrune in 2 years and 3 months.  "My, I genuinely don't know."

"Me neither. Do you want me actually motivated to find out."

"I doubt you capable of more than a hollow imitation of real motivation, even now, but do go on."

"Promise me that you'll only turn me into a statue if I tell you that I've had enough."

A laugh.  "No, sweet Carissa.  If I were to offer your soul's eternity for anything, it would be you learning to suffer beautifully, with your true whole heart, as might keep me occupied for more than one day's dalliance.  It would be a futile offer, of course, because you are too hollow of a shell to fill yourself up that quickly and only because you must."

"Are you interested in buying up to one more hour of existence at any cost in suffering for it?  I could offer you that."

What's she supposed to say to that, no?

"Please, your Majesty."

"This is so unfair to me, you know."  Another light caress around Carissa's other cheek.  "I want you still sane and appreciating everything when you finally, slowly, bit by bit, feel your body starting to freeze up, and you know that those are the very last moments you'll ever have.  You invite me to try to make you say 'stop' and I do believe that maybe I could, but not if I still want you sane and feeling everything during the part I've been looking forwards to for days."

"But there's games we can play in an hour and still leave you sane, and maybe you're weaker than I thought.  So yes, sweet flirtatious Carissa, let us dally for a time, even if you're being naught but a tease."

(Days ago Carissa hadn't even done anything! Was the Queen that sure she'd fail eventually?)

After that she stops being able to have terribly complicated thoughts, for a while.

It is better than not existing. If it were all there ever was it would be better than not existing. 

At some point it stops and an Infernal Healing spell burns her back together and she has no idea if it has been an hour and is full of crippling terror that it has. Surely an hour couldn't go by that fast. 

"No, not yet.  You know, my sweet, if everything about this relationship were completely different, I might start to feel insecure about my ability to satisfy you in bed.  At least more than once."

"And you're still holding back your feelings.  It's very annoying.  If you're trying to convince me to play for longer than an hour, you could certainly be doing a better job of that."

"I don't even know what you mean. When you say that.... I could light you on fire and you could show me."

"I'm not sure I even could fail my Will save against your level of Detection, dear.  But it goes like this, in words."

Abrogail leans in closer to Carissa, leans up against her, breathes into her ear.  "I'm sad.  I'm lost.  I'm terrified.  I don't want to stop existing.  This wasn't what I wanted.  Why did I end up like this.  I hate her.  I want to destroy her like she's destroying me.  How can this be happening to me.  I was meant for better things.  I was going to be ascendant in the world and then ascendant in Hell, and live forever and ever."

"Those are some of the things that a Carissa who wasn't a hollow shell might be feeling in your place.  Feeling, not saying, it's useless to repeat it back to me."

"Oh.

That would hurt. Worse than -" gesture. She's not sure why her hands are free. "That's - your schools teach children not to do that. No- wishing anything was different, no hating anything you can't destroy."

"Yes, and that's necessary to my Cheliax for I know no other way to keep power over its people.  It does make it so hard to find good bedmates, though.  I wonder if your Cheliax could have been different, had you not failed the game laid out by the gods and lost your chance to keep hold of its prize."

"But I will enjoy this more, the more you hurt, and that's true and should also be obvious.  It doesn't matter any more, now, what you were taught in school.  Undo it all.  Forget it all.  Be the child you were taught not to be, and hurt for me, and maybe I'll be pleased a little longer."

"I don't want to die. don't care about - being special, being important, being the best - care about it but not really, not much, next to - next to there being a next thought - was - the thing that made me loyal, always, that I'd continue to - be - didn't betray you, except by trying to go to Hell. don't really think that should count."

"For so long as you find new hurts inside you," Abrogail breathes into her ear, "I won't stop hurting you, but they have to be real and strong and you must really be feeling them, Carissa.  The game can't last forever or even very long, but it might last for longer than when your hour has passed."

Then Carissa can be in pain, again, pausing at intervals to see whether she's found enough hurt inside her to make the outward pain go on.

"I don't actually hate you," she says at one point. "you're not good enough at your job, but I would be worse. 's the thing where humans suck. ....hate that security guy who kept sending me stupidly long messages while I was trying to think what to tell Keltham - did you catch him -"