This is a safe-for-work summary of the key events in "kissing is not a human universal", created since it's looking like "mad investor chaos and the woman of asmodeus" is liable to end up in the Must-Read Canon of Yudkowsky. It seemed polite to have a somewhat safer version of that, for the benefit of people who would like to read all of the decision theory stuff I've written, without them having to read the whole sex scene surrounding that decision theory.
(Those of you who are questioning why a sex scene needs any discussion of decision theory at all, see dath ilan's reply, appearing below, to people who ask why libraries need secret passageways.)