"Huh.  I wasn't actually specifically aware of its origins before now, despite the wide variety of apocalyptic nonsense and trivia otherwise packed away in here.

"...Regardless, please do use the Lasso, it's important to me that we are all aware that as far as I know I am not speaking from a place of delusion, and I apologize in advance if something awkward slips out.  I'm not sure how that works either but - erm.  Suffice to say, whosoever sculpted you did a very good job.  If this is a continuity where that happened.  I think that's pretty common but I don't know if it happened in that abominable movie, for example.  Or even the world I think I'm most likely in based off of blind assumption that - The Witch Boy was already going to be plot-relevant in a way I could know about, if he was the first villain I encountered.  I don't think it actually covered most origin stories, they were rather culturally implicit by the time it was airing...

"I suppose I'll have to - oh, damn, blast, it would prove it but we can't just leave a lab fire to happen for prophetic reasons especially when there's a secret subbasement and all the Genomorphs -

"Uh.  And the possible partial clone of Superman in said secret subbasement.

"Is there a Cadmus laboratory around...  Here, it would have to be, that's where they leave from..."

"...Right.  Uh.  Let me just.  If you would?"  She sticks her hand out for the Lasso before she says anything else.

Wonder Woman leads her into a conference room and a chair, first, and then loops the lasso around her hand. Superman follows behind, doing a surprisingly good job of fading into the background for a 6'3" alien.

"My mother sculpted me from clay," Wonder Woman agrees, "And the blessings of Gaia brought me to life. Although not many people know that, so it doesn't come up much. Still, my mother is a quite talented sculptor, given her many years of practice."

She nabs a set of note-taking implements from the center of the conference table.

"You seem like you already have a lot that you want to tell us; do you want to just start, and then I can ask clarifying questions if something is confusing?"

"I know so many things.  But only approximately.  This is why I wanted Batman, he's the guy who would know how to triage the - Blackest Night, whatever the fuck is going on with the Silver City and Hell, oh fuck no please not the goddamn Crisis, the Lights going out is probably not a live concern in a universe where the Spectrum entities exist but I don't fucking know that pardon my language, oh and fucking Darkseid and his fucking bullshit Anti-Life Equation, that's not even how anything works but this is comic book logic so I guess I have to fucking deal - Anyway.  Oh, and don't let the Flash time travel unless someone like Eobard Thawne, possibly also known as Reverse Flash but there might've been two of them, has already shown up.  It probably can't make things worse at that point.  Anyway.  All of those are probably in the future or in the past or just not happening here, but we should probably investigate a man named William Hand if the Lanterns don't know what Blackest Night is yet - he's - some kind of serial killer, and - the Black 'Light'," she air-quotes, "Entity's chosen, ha, hand, in his...  Resurrection is the wrong word because he's zombies all the way down...

"I should see if my superpowers extend to transdimensional wiki access, honestly.  There's probably half a dozen more apocalypses I don't know about just because they haven't come up in anything I've read.

"...No, that thing where Dream got trapped in a jar was in the nineteen hundreds, I think...  ...ugh.  Probably ought to double-check Roderick Burgess anyway.

"Annnnd we have gotten completely sidetracked from Cadmus.  Sorry, I have ADHD.  Right.  Cadmus.  Easiest known litmus test of where I am presently out of the various possible options, not least because I don't know many other big crossover setups except in the broadest possible terms.

"Oh, while I have this on -" Alan Scott's Green Lantern is actually drawing from The Green the magical force of plantlife that also powers Alec Holland aka Swamp Thing and may or may not be connected to Pamela Isley aka Poison Ivy, which is why it's not affected by Oa stuffing the Yellow Entity into the Green Central Power Battery but is affected by wood, she tries to say, and finds out that that isn't locally-true.

"Wait, shit, I got sidetracked again.  ...The Lasso would be incredibly useful for running binary searches if it literally doesn't let you say untrue things -- oh, gods, why is my brain like this.

"Cadmus Labs.  It would be a DC office I think since I'm pretty sure the junior League picks it up from here in that continuity.  Genomorphs.  They're telepathic and a hivemind.  There's also two partial clones of Superman in that basement, I'm 70% confident, if it's there at all.  One's better hidden and more genetically unstable than the other.  I guess I should probably be on call to fix that, especially if my cockamamie plan to smoosh powers together to get to White Light pans out...Blue's good at healing things.  Saint Walker healed a star once.  Distracted again, fuck.  Uh.  Right.  Have I said enough things.  I think I've probably said enough things.  Oh shit right um I also know most of the League's secret identities.  Sorry about that.  You were rather popular entertainment where I'm from.  ...Annnnd there may be a guy who can cross over to the other big chunk of superhero fiction somewhere around here, but I don't think so because that would prooooobably obviate the coauthor's agreement with Klarion unless he also showed up.  ...I'm so glad that this universe isn't Worm, though.  You only have the one Larfleeze."

That is ... a lot to take in. Wonder Woman sort of suspects that she might be having an adverse reaction to the Lasso.

"... you've been diagnosed with ADHD?" she clarifies. "Do you know whether a small amount of caffeine would help you focus or make things worse? That's the only appropriate psychoactive substance that I'm comfortable giving you without a doctor's approval, but if it helps you explain things in a way that will make sense to us that might be important."

"Also, it sounds like you have knowledge of a lot of bad things, but none of them are immanent, right? So we have time to go through them methodically," Superman adds. "I can check Cadmus Labs for confirmation, but how is it that you think you know these things?"

"I have, yes.  Also autism.  Thus the random fun facts.  But unfortunately this is - probably, I don't strictly know the state of the me that's writing me - what me on my meds looks like, for what little good they do -  though I'm erring in favor of saying more things instead of less things right now.  I don't think tea's going to help all that much but I could definitely go for some anyway, I think."

"None of them are imminent except maybe-probably Cadmus.  William Hand is pretty immanent because if he's a live threat he could go off whenever, but if I'm right about the continuity I'm in, he won't be, unless I've, uh, kind of accidentally spoken him into existence by way of pointing the narrative spotlight in his general direction.  In which case, mysterious coauthor," she says, briefly looking up at the screen ceiling, "I will be very upset with you.  Blackest Night is such a clusterfuck.  But I think you're probably cooler than that and honestly you already have enough problems just accounting for - well I was not expecting negotiating with --- speak not the fucking names, lest they hear, ugh - The Witch Boy to even work even though I actually thought it was a good argument and likely to give the evil masterminds more trouble than us.  Which is why I went for it.  But I'm not looking forward to the mess on Roanoke, if that's going forward.  If I can even get myself on the right side of the age line...  I mean, maybe he'll do something entirely different now, if we even get that far on the meta level.  Since I think he knows way more than he probably ought to, he's not really usually playing Deadpool...  Most fics don't make it very far in, anyway.  I'll be pleasantly surprised to - oh, for fuck's sake.  T. O. Morrow.  Hold on..."  She raises a finger in a 'wait one' gesture while she actually tries to search her knowledge.  "Red Tornado has siblings.  I'm not actually sure if the one fanfiction I read where they were disguised and operating in the Justice Society era was canon or just making things up...  Oh, I could just try and say it.  Oh damn Serling Roquette.  Doctor Serling Roquette, excuse me.  Nanofog.  Cut that off at the pass before we even get to the League of Assassins trying to steal it...  If Cadmus pans out, you pass that on to Batman.  Or, in an emergency, I will accept Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen as substitutes in that order."

"As for how I came to know these things...

"Mostly, fanfiction.  Lots and lots of fanfiction.

"I did just say, under truth lasso, that you were popular entertainment where I'm from, didn't I?

"Dimensional travel from a world where you're popular comic books and associated media can't possibly be the weirdest thing you've dealt with.  Although I am not going to speak the name of the fifth-dimensional entity either lest he hear me.  Don't know how to pronounce it forwards, let alone backwards, anyway."

"You did say it, it's just a bit hard to wrap your head around," Superman admits, drifting over to the meeting room's perfunctory little kitchenette to procure hot water and English Breakfast tea.

"And yes, his name is a bit of a tongue twister. Luckily I have a decent amount of practice. So it sounds like for right now our priorities are: verify whether Cadmus Labs has any Kryptonian clones, put out an APB on William Hand, and collect further information to hand over to Batman—" or the League's other perfectly capable investigators; he's a reporter, thank you "—on potential upcoming disasters."

"It sounds like it might help to have some structure to go through things," Diana notes, scribbling things on her notepad. "You've touched on things that ... seem like they could involve a few different League members? Should we maybe go through the league members one by one, and you can share what disasters you remember them heading off, how, and when? Also — I assume, if you've read all this in a storybook that this is the kind of prophecy where knowing what's coming will help us prepare better, not the self-fulfilling kind?"

"Let me see if I can turn up actual details on Hand before you actually send out that APB.  And depending on how many Lanterns you have we may be well meta-past the point where Blackest Night usually goes; Kyle Rayner was - I hesitate to say the protagonist, but certainly possessed of certain narrative primacy...  I hadn't been keeping up with the most recent things all that well but I know they finally got around to making a Lantern who wasn't a straight white man.

"This intel shouldn't be self-fulfilling, no, though I'm not really...  Certain that some of the trouble won't on the narrative level have been promoted to secondary canon beyond whatever continuity we're in by my bringing it up.

"...Breaking up the threats by Leaguer may be a good idea.  Though there's actually a lot of specific dangers that accrue to specific sidekicks -- oh shit fuck Roy -- if Cadmus pans out, Green Arrow's sidekick either has been or soon will be kidnapped, cloned, and brainwashed, and I think it's much more likely that we're in 'has been'.  Or, the brainwashing was the clone, but.  The clone is also sufficiently Roy-ish that I was able to say that."

So Wonder Woman goes through the current membership of the League and various younger affiliated heroes, asking about all of their problems in turn and straightening out the often jumbled reports. The League does have a black woman serving as a Green Lantern, so that's one potential disaster probably avoided.

Superman vanishes half-way through, once he's sure Wonder Woman has things handled, to start corroborating as much of this as he can. Red Arrow and Red Tornado both get quietly taken aside for an examination on the Watchtower, and various other preliminary warnings are disseminated to the various members of the League.

Eventually, Wonder Woman has wrung as many details from her interlocutor as they seem likely to get. She reaches over to gently take the Lasso off of her hand.

"This is obviously a lot; I'm really glad that you came forward to share this with us, and I promise you that we'll do all that we can to head off these disasters. What's your plan going forward? You've alluded to having powers a few times, now. Do you intend to try your hand at being a superhero?"

"...It seems rather the done thing in these sorts of circumstances.  And yet.  I for one don't know if I've the temperament, now that the option presents itself.

"...Mm.  I think I will at least want to be involved in disaster response.  With great power comes great responsibility, to shamelessly steal a line from a different universe entirely, and I think that I do have, if not necessarily great power now, then nonetheless the ready potential for great power once I actually sit down and work through some things.  Whether that extends to investigative work or facepunching...  I think I'll have to figure that out, but that I'm probably metanarratively going to end up involved with some of it.  Especially after - ahem.  The Witch Boy."

"I suppose both the power I have been entrusted with, and personal affinity besides, mean that there's at least a ready name lined up."

Wonder Woman raises an eyebrow.

"Oh?"

Ophelia save me it feels pretentious but it's correct -

Oh, if you must.

"Wildcard - in the sense of the special character in computing that represents any single possible character, not to be confused with the actual paper cards.  The way our power is structured allows us to specialize deeply in most any one thing at a time with sufficient assembly - and the name also usefully misdirects from our having the option to construct multiple such powers simultaneously."

Wonder Woman nods.

"I see. Well, it's nice to meet you, Wildcard."

She smiles.

"The U.S. doesn't have a special process for entry from another world, but the League has contacts in the State Department who can help take care of the paperwork, if you plan to establish a civilian identity. Personally, I've never much needed one, but some of my colleagues find it important to have a separation between public and private personas, to have a measure of peace in their private lives. Do you think you plan to stay in the U.S.? Or go somewhere else?"

"I have never held a long-term residence other than in the United States, hypothetical alternate selves aside, and I should hope that the political situation that rendered it... reasonable... for us to contemplate the likelihood of a successful political asylum claim will not replicate in your timeline.  The bigotry's laid out differently, no matter that we are now likely to get hit by anti-super bigotry in similar proportion.  ...It would then thus behoove us to have a 'civilian' identity, I suppose."

"There is ... not too much bigotry against superhumans, I've found," Wonder Woman comments. "But if you do run into any, please do feel free to come to me for help. Here ..."

She tears off a sheet of notebook paper and scribbles a list of names and numbers.

"This is my number at the Themysciran consolate, the number of my contact in the State Department, the Justice League non-emergency number, and, in case you run into anything that you don't want to share with the League as a whole, Batman's number."

One of them, anyway — he has something like twelve phones for different purposes. Thank the Goddesses for her memory.

"Now, it's been a little while that you've been prophesying for us. Is there anything else that you think is best discussed in private, or could I perhaps treat you to lunch as thank you for the forewarnings?" 

As it happens, they did keep most of the Batman information they know (Jason Todd in Ethiopia, street kid Tim Drake Joker Junior, Regular Flavor Tim Drake clocking Dick Grayson because of the quadruple something or other that only, like, eleven people could do, the entire possible existence of Damian Wayne, fragmented details of how a possible future Batgirl becomes Oracle and some of the speculation on the Watsonian reason for the Joker to leave her alive - there was an interesting fic where Amanda Waller of all people connected some dots and decided that the Joker had to die -) for Batman only, out of respect for his secret identity, assuming that the League doesn't know it - and they will be dropping all that off as soon as they have a Bat-secure line of communication.  (Cassandra Cain, on the other hand, they can mention without blowing his cover, they think - not that they think she's all that likely to exist yet considering that there is still one Robin, what is going on with this timeline - though at least that means that all the shit that happens to Nightwing is far in the future.  Gods, the amount of everything that goes on with Nightwing.  She hates it.)

She quirks an eyebrow.  "Lex Luthor sometimes runs for President, I'm sure I mentioned.  But I do suppose the situation's definitely better than..."

She draws a heavy breath, sighing.

"The, and I almost regret that I'm not bound by the lasso as I say this because this is bullshit I would not have believed if it had not kept coming to my attention, telepathic anti-mutant hivemind virus, that Marvel Comics wrote in to the X-Men, which...  Well.  I'd been reading more from over there than over here recently, for some value of 'I'.  It might take my hindbrain a bit to catch up.

"...Also, I don't believe my phone connects to the local networks.  But regardless of all that, lunch does sound lovely."