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The capital is boring.
Why is the capital boring? It's the capital! It should have interesting people in it! But noo, everyone she's met so far has been an idiot. Mostly not even an entertaining idiot, just a boring idiot who thinks she should be impressed by their whatever, like, no, in order to impress her you can start by not being an idiot.
On the plus side, the party has free booze, so that's nice.
"My girlfriend! You should kidnap her! She loves having her sensitive parts burned off, you'll get along great. And it's your fault her house just burned down so the least you can do is invite her to come live in your huge gorgeous castle."
"What the fuck," he says, still giggling. "Where the fuck did you come from, you're amazing."
He laughs.
"Technically I'm the Emperor of Ansaith," he says. "You're a lady if I say you are."
"Oh my. Are you this nice to all the girls you kidnap, rape, and torture?"
"Well at least he's honest. Promise you won't rape my girlfriend and I'll tell you where to find her."
"What, and you'll just believe me? What if I say that's a hard promise to keep?"
"Before you introduce me to your girlfriend, I should probably explain a few things," he sighs. "Please don't set me on fire again."
He snorts. "No promises, huh? Fine, I probably deserve it anyway. So, the reason you can't use your own pain anymore is that I hooked you into the spell that powers all my magic and keeps me immortal. It keeps you immortal too, for a while, and steals all the power your pain makes. But I built it a long time ago when I wasn't nearly as good at this as I am now, and after a hundred years or so it starts burning out your mind. It used to be fifty years before I added the part that turns you into a swan every sunrise and back again at dusk."
"...Yeah, you kind of deserve to be set on fire," she says. "I mean, I guess that's better than not being immortal for the next hundred years, but I kind of like not being a swan."
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