...Masozi is aware that he really needs to get some additional data points on where exactly the boundaries of what counts as "maleficing" are, and how and why it's damaging or bad for you, and also why exactly people think it's so evil because it seemed like it wasn't just about the murdering people... 

"I, umm... Someone told me that maleficing is bad for you and also evil but I'm confused about what's evil if you're not doing it to people and also how exactly it's bad for you?" 

Jesus Christ. 

"Um. I... so, you know how maleficing works, right, you haven't - been doing it by accident or something -"

"It's - when you get mana from things that aren't you, right? But...I noticed if you get it from tiny bugs, or plants, then it doesn't hurt, and if it's from bigger things like rats then it sometimes hurts but only if I'm not - careful - and if it's from people it feels really bad so I only ever did when the person was trying to kill me or my family. - And it makes sense that that's evil, because hurting people is! But nobody goes around saying stepping on ants is evil, or that catching and eating rats is, so I can't see why getting mana from them would be any different." 

"- yes. When it doesn't hurt it's called 'cheating', not maleficing - nearly everyone does that. I don't, but I'm" stupid and going to die because she's uncomfortable with killing bugs "unusual. I didn't know you could be... careful... with rats, but it doesn't surprise me as much as it might. Everything is a spectrum. I think... the reason people don't like it when you take from rats on up is not that it's evil. Not until you're hurting people. But - people say that it makes you more willing to hurt people, just doing it to rats. And people say that it makes it easier to do it to people. And when you do things that lead up to something else like that - and the thing you're leading up to is as bad as draining someone - people want to stop you. Before you actually do it. Even if you say you never would. Because - if you put the fence far, far before the grass, nobody can poke their head through and take it anyway."

"....I don't think it'd make it feel less bad to hurt people. I don't really like doing with rats, even, they - sort of have feelings, you know? I guess...if I were going to have to kill someone anyway because they'd kill me otherwise then it - doesn't feel like it ought to be worse to get mana from it too? Unless it...did things to my head. If - the way it's bad for you is that it - makes you think hurting people doesn't matter and you shouldn't care, then that seems worth - having a fence before it. I guess. But it feels like it'd be really hard to, to change what I think matters." 

"I only know the stories," Sophie apologizes. "Maybe it's just that the fence is there to stop people who would already want to drain people, by making it harder to start. But I don't think it's so hard, for most people, to change what matters to them. I have my sisters, and I'd do anything for them - but I wouldn't malefice. Because if it made me into someone else, how do I know she'd still love them?"

“But…why does it change you into someone else? Most things that hurt you don’t do that!”

"Have you ever personally observed magic to make sense?"

She sighs. "I - I really don't know much about it. But if I had to guess? Pain is your body's way of telling you don't do it. Maybe your soul does the same thing."

"I think magic usually makes sense, if you look at it right!" Shrug. "S'not like I want to do it to people. Or rats, even, and there aren't any here. I brought dung beetles and - if pulling mana from them doesn't hurt then it's going to be safe, right?" 

"...don't tell people about it, not when people are already looking for an excuse not to trust you. And - well, I don't know. I'm pure mana, I don't even pull from bugs. Maybe it'd help with your... aura... if you abstained for a while. But maybe you can't afford the risk."

Exhale. "I - I'm not judging you. It was harder for you to get to this point than it was for me. So - you do what keeps you alive. Whether that's pulling from your beetles, or abstaining so you can make alliances." Small smile. "And maybe one of these days you'll have enough of whatever keeps you alive to get me to make you a hat."

That's very sweet of her but now Masozi is right back to being baffled! 

"- Do people need an excuse not to trust me? That's not– I mean, you don't know me, no one here knows me, they shouldn't trust me until I've - done something to show them that I'm trustworthy?" 

"They certainly don't need an excuse not to trust you. They need an excuse to hate you, to say 'we were right not to trust you', and they'll want one. Because - you feel dangerous. I mean. You probably are dangerous. You could probably hurt me very easily. But - it feels like you would hurt me. I don't think you actually would. But."

Masozi looks levelly at her for a long moment. He's thinking. 

"...Um, I - really don't mean any offence, just..." He shakes his head. "I think you'd be more likely to survive if you felt more dangerous. 'Cause you have to be dangerous, here, right? At least to mals. And - I mean, I'd help you no matter what, because people dying is bad, but - I wouldn't trust you to watch my back, right now." 

She... wasn't expecting that.

She laughs, a little weakly. "Maybe we should meet in the middle."

Masozi looks thoughtful. 

"I noticed I'm more - careful, that most of the people here. And I kept...being really scared that someone was going to die before they had a chance to learn, because everyone was saying it's dangerous here. But..." Shrug. "There were ten times as many mals when I was traveling, and I was on my own. So - you know, maybe it's actually safer here." 

"You are very careful. I wouldn't want you to stop being careful. But - dangerous can mean a lot of things, and if you're too dangerous in the wrong way then it's a liability. And... I'm not good at being - the kind of dangerous that makes people trust you. I'm alright at the kind of dangerous that kills mals. But my hope is to be valuable enough that I don't have to be something that I'm not."

Half-consciously, she adds "- and I only have to survive a year."

"...What's in a year?" 

"...oh. Next year my younger sister Lettie comes to school and I can give her the things I've made and collected and - keep doing it as long as I can, of course, the more I can give her and Martha the better chance they have -"

"- but I won't have it riding me anymore."

Wow. What are you even supposed to say to that. There might be some sort of expected pleasantry but if so it definitely wasn't in the English phrasebook he found at the library. 

"...Um, I - sorry, I don't want to– I don't mean you're ever - obligated to do anything, but... They're not going to stop needing you? And I, just - I think it'd be better if you graduated? And I - want to help, if there's any way I can. ...That's not going to risk me getting killed, but, you know." 

"Oh, it's not - I don't want to die. Or anything like that. I just - know it'll happen, sooner or later. You know? And I won't be making it harder on them, if it's after." She smiles wanly. "I know it'll still hurt. But... not the kind of hurt I can save them from."

This conversation has gotten EVEN MORE AWKWARD and Masozi is well out of his depth for social interaction! 

"I guess," he says, reluctantly. Change the subject change the subject– 

"...Um, if you're ever hard up for mana, I'd trade you some for your shit to feed my beetles, that shouldn't cost you too much." 

"...hmm."

She considers this question, even though she'd really rather not.

"I am going to be trading work for mana, I think, and I'm going to try not to spend it frivolously, and hopefully that'll be enough. I will consider your offer if I end up very desperate."

Masozi nods. "...Um, do you have a -" what's the English phrase again, "- a moral objection? To using mana from beetles even if you didn't pull it from them yourself?" He's still very confused about that but it seems important to understand. 

"It... is less of a moral objection and more. Discomfort, emotionally. It's not something you need to worry about."

....That's honestly even more confusing! What's even the point of not doing something because it's uncomfortable, let alone emotionally uncomfortable - whatever that even means, Masozi isn't sure he follows. Probably asking if she's considered, instead, not having emotional discomfort would be mean and rude. 

"Oh," he says, even more awkwardly. And now he's all out of further conversational ideas. "....Supply run after dinner, then?"