Subject: RE: Radiation case - I need more information
Harrison,
Here's what I know:
- The labs you sent me are physiologically impossible.
- Your radiologist called the CT scan "impossibly good", and he's not someone who would screw around with official medical documentation for a prank.
- I tracked down a Gazette-Journal article about a "priest of a previously unknown religion associated with Dungeons and Dragons" who's "healing people" at your hospital.
- You started off calling it "biological cellular regeneration" therapy, but your last email wasn't even trying to make sense.
If you're telling the truth, your patient should be dead, and he's not. But he's not home safe either, because those last labs you sent over were showing deterioration again, and you were stressed out enough about it to call me.
I did some google research on Dungeons and Dragons. This is insane and makes no sense, mind you, but it would fit with the limited availability you hinted at. The delay between your first call and the improved labs had me at a loss for a while, but I did find at least one spell that needs holy water as a "material component" and I suppose the pharmacy wouldn't have it in stock. I admit I'm still bemused about your "specialist" who can "see cellular damage", but you're clearly trusting them just as much as you trust the lab values.
You're claiming the underlying problem isn't fixed, which is plain from the results you sent, and that you need the patient himself to provide transport to access the "more advanced treatment options" that would fully cure him. I am, to be clear, well into the realm of crazy speculation here, but: if there's a secret underground religion where priests can do real magic (and rumors of it leaked and inspired someone to turn it into a roleplaying game system?), you might need a more powerful priest, and they might not be easy to find. And your patient certainly wasn't exposed to >50 Gy anywhere in the State of Nevada, that was the first thing I checked, but you're claiming he crashed in under thirty minutes; if any of this is real, then he didn't get to you on a medevac helicopter, that's for sure, and why not suspect that he can teleport to wherever this hypothetical more powerful priest might be found?
I repeat, again, that this is insane, but here I am on a plane anyway, because if this is real then it's huge, and if this is real then you have a patient in trouble.
If this is real, I'm certain that I'm still barking up the wrong tree on several elements, given how I'm going off a tabloid article because you won't be straight with me. If it's really aliens, or lost biotech from Atlantis, I don't even know, but it's still huge and I still want to be in that room, and you still need me. So that's what I'm asking: be straight with me. If you can do the impossible, I need to know what and how and the exact limitations you're working with.
I'll be straight with you: if this is a prank or a hoax, I will absolutely make you regret it, but if there's an actual patient in that room, then I'm on your team here. I'm not going to report you to the medical board for pulling off something impossible to save a patient, however crazy you sound. I'm starting to feel pretty crazy myself.
Boarding in 10. Should land on time, 00:05 at RNO, and I'd appreciate not having to wait for a taxi.
Rebecca Chen, MD, PhD
Professor of Radiation Oncology
Director, Acute Radiation Syndrome Treatment & Research Program Division of Radiation Oncology
Vanderbilt University Medical Center
1211 Medical Center Drive, Nashville, TN 37232
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