Leareth is no longer paying attention to the conversation at all.
He feels so helpless and trapped and - frustrated that he can't shake that off and engage anyway, because this is important - if Malduoni/Aroden is telling the truth, it's the start of one of the most important events in history, here in this world. And if he's telling the truth, then it has implications for Leareth, too, and for Velgarth, for everyone there -
- for Vanyel.
Oddly, thinking of Vanyel is what prompts the idea. Vanyel, who Leareth has no doubt is really, truly, genuinely Good. In the way Carissa thinks she means when she talks about him, Leareth - and for some reason Vanyel got on her bad side, but she's missing so much context there.
He's trapped and helpless and without magic, but he's in Golarion. And there is a certain Lawful Good god who knew Aroden. Who could vouch for him, if any of this were true.
...If Leareth can manage to reach Her at all. He's not Good; not by this world's metaphysics, whatever that even means.
But - he thinks he can grasp at the outlines of what it would mean, to be that instead. Because he can imagine the person Vanyel might, someday, grow into, now that Leareth's plans are outdated and he won't ever have to make a certain awful choice. Someone who will never, ever give up on fighting to preserve the lives and value around him, to protect the innocents, to build a better future - and he's already decided that isn't only for Valdemar. There's a literal song that says so.
And a different song, which Leareth thinks is rather moving even if he is never ever going to admit that to Vanyel.
Herald Vanyel raised his golden voice and sang of life and light,
Of the first cry of a baby, of the silver stars of night.
Herald Vanyel sang of wisdom, sang of courage, sang of love,
Of the earth's sweet soil beneath him, of the vaulting sky above -
But Vanyel isn't just Good, because he's built on what Leareth taught him as well. He's fought in a war. He knows how to be ruthless. Knows when it's worth paying the cost of a thousand deaths now, to save ten thousand in the future.
There's a new possible world here, where they could be allies, and Leareth wants that very badly.
- and maybe what Good means, here, over and above the litany of never give up never walk away not until everything is fixed and everyone is all right. It means - not just being Lawful, possible to form alliances with, because Asmodeus has that. There's...something else.
Leareth doesn't quite have it any more clearly than that, but - it's something Vanyel would want to have. And maybe that's the difference, between a Leareth and an Iomedae, maybe that's what he needs to hold in mind, alongside a tower and a starry sky and a vow he made millennia ago, to cross the gulf of alignment distance between them -
Leareth has no idea if this is how praying is supposed to work, but he's doing it very very hard, holding all of that up and trying to - reach, to call out, I think this is very important and you would want to know it - and if it is true then I want to help us win -