"Did she explain how this works?"

"No.  How what works.  Who cares?  I'm insane.  I'm probably hallucinating.  Jesus Christ."

The man on the screen groans.  "Completely bollixed.  I hate when this happens.  All right - you, Bryce Lynwood, watching this for the first time with no idea what's going on."

He starts.

Uh.  Okay.  Sure.

"I can't actually see you, this is an ordinary recording.  But there's a trick for when two people at different points of time need to communicate in real time.  I've got a recording of you that I got earlier in my timeline, and now you've got a recording of me, that you're watching on the TARDIS's display screen.  How this works is, I watch the recording I have of you while I'm making the recording you have of me, and I reply to everything you say to me.  Then the recording I make has my side of the conversation, and I do some time nonsense to get that recording to you before we have this conversation.  Then you do the same thing I did the other way around - watch the recording of me, make the recording of you replying to me, then sometime later do your own time nonsense to get the recording to me before I talk to you."

"...okay I think I followed that, but I'm not being recorded - no you just said you can't see me, right - "

"What you just watched, up until I started - talking to you properly - was my side of a conversation with you.  But it's my side of a conversation I have with you after you've already watched through the beginning of this recording once.  We're going to do the trick I just explained to you.  You're going to take your phone and record yourself responding to me.  But at the same time you start recording yourself, you're going to start this recording over from the beginning.  Watch through again, knowing what's going on, and recording yourself replying to me, and it'll be like a real conversation.  I'll be confused - obviously you just saw me being confused - because I expected Sarah Jane to be on the tape instead of someone I've never seen before."

There's no use saying it out loud, but he is kind of wondering at this point how the recording of him is supposed to get where it's going.

"Right - don't worry about getting your recording to me yet, we'll work that out after we deal with the Weeping Angel.  Once I say go, just hit the play/pause button, second from the left on the bottom of the display screen, then hit the leftmost button twice, then the second button again.  That'll start the whole recording over.  And make sure your phone's recording you once you hit play again.  Got it?"

He positions his finger over the pause button.

"Go."

Pause.  Restart.  Record on his phone.  Play.

"Who are you?"

"Now you can see me."

"No, but, really, who are you and how did you get in my TARDIS?"

Okay this is really weird but also kinda cool.  "I'm Bryce Lynwood.  I met your friend who I think is named Sarah Jane, she gave me the key."

"You met Sarah Jane?  - did you go through her purse?"

"We never really got around to introductions, but she said you sent her to get the TARDIS back.  The Weeping Angel got her."

"Did she explain how this works?"

He giggles a little.  "No, you did, but - you do in a second, once I tell you that I watched once already up to this point without understanding what was going on, and then you started talking to me-back-then and explained it."

Groan. "Completely bollixed.  I hate when this happens.  All right - you, Bryce Lynwood, watching this for the first time with no idea what's going on."

Hee.

"I can't actually see you, this is an ordinary recording.  But there's a trick for when two people at different points of time need to communicate in real time.  I've got a recording of you that I got earlier in my timeline, and now you've got a recording of me, that you're watching on the TARDIS's display screen.  How this works is, I watch the recording I have of you while I'm making the recording you have of me, and I reply to everything you say to me.  Then the recording I make has my side of the conversation, and I do some time nonsense to get that recording to you before we have this conversation.  Then you do the same thing I did the other way around - watch the recording of me, make the recording of you replying to me, then sometime later do your own time nonsense to get the recording to me before I talk to you."

"You pause for a minute here while I talk back like you can hear me.  ...Okay go."

"What you just watched, up until I started - talking to you properly - was my side of a conversation with you.  But it's my side of a conversation I have with you after you've already watched through the beginning of this recording once.  We're going to do the trick I just explained to you.  You're going to take your phone and record yourself responding to me.  But at the same time you start recording yourself, you're going to start this recording over from the beginning.  Watch through again, knowing what's going on, and recording yourself replying to me, and it'll be like a real conversation.  I'll be confused - obviously you just saw me being confused - because I expected Sarah Jane to be on the tape instead of someone I've never seen before."