Which is the point at which he is finally interrupted. 

:Delian: Taver's mindvoice is oddly flat. :...Where are you? I thought to find you on the palace grounds: 

:I went for a run. What is it?: He lets the half-munched apple fall from his jaws, suddenly tense and not at all in the mood for snacking. 

:What? Taver, WHAT?: 

:We questioned Karis: 

And now it's Taver's turn to drive him up the wall, apparently. Maybe he's just irritable today. 

:And? Tell me: 

In an equally toneless mindvoice, and with odd disjointed pauses, Taver does. 

There was a Suncat. That in itself is a shock. They're known of in legend, but not living memory, at least as far as Delian knows. 

Karis, of course, trusted the Suncat. Because they're trustworthy, like Companions. Or that's what everyone believed. 

The Suncat told her that Vkandis needed her. 

She hadn't meant to hurt Vanyel. She thought it would just be a conversation, maybe another prophecy. She tried to stop it from happening, but her body wasn't her own. 

She hasn't seen the Suncat since. 

Vkandis didn't explain why. 

Delian doesn't understand. Right now that's the only thought he can muster, an endless looping refrain of it. 

:I need to go back to the Palace: he informs the young Companion. And then, because he's going to explode if he doesn't say this to someone, :They interrogated Karis. It was Vkandis: 

He allows himself the indulgence of kicking several apples as hard as he can, and stomping on a few more, and then he turns and gallops back toward the Palace. 

:What was Vkandis?: asks the other Companion, still munching his own apple, but he doesn't seem to strongly expect an answer.

:Vkandis tried to assassinate Vanyel: Delian snaps back, a lot more harshly than he meant to, and then blocks the youngster out of his mind and focuses on reaching the Palace as rapidly as he can. He wasn't even close to pushing the limits of how fast a Companion can move, before. 

He's not sure what he's planning to DO once he gets back, exactly, Taver didn't request his presence. But something is wrong, his entire mind is screaming it, and he doesn't know what but he intends to be within reach of his Chosen before everything falls apart. 

Yfandes is not, in fact, coping especially well with recent events. 

The worst part is that she knows it. She's fully aware of how badly Vanyel needs her, right now. How confused and upset and scared he is.

And somehow she just...can't. Can't find the right words to say. Or even push wordless reassurance, like she usually does, because despite her best efforts she keeps feeling angry with Van.

It doesn't make sense. It's as though the inside of her mind is full of barbed thorns, inexplicably catching on half her thoughts. She wants to scream at her Chosen for being so idiotically trusting of Leareth, except...he isn't, really? She knows his mind. He's hopeful, of course, and reaching for the best-case scenario, but - he's not wrong, that it makes sense to try for that now. With Cam. 

Cam. 

It feels like it all comes down to that, in the end. Cam arrived - miraculously, wonderfully - and since then, everything has been slowly falling to pieces around her. It's tempting to be angry with him, but what would that accomplish. He's not leaving. It feels insane of her to even want him to, it's just, everything is suddenly so complicated... 

This is the point at which Taver reaches out to brief her on the results of questioning Karis. 

His mindvoice is odd, she thinks in some quiet, distant part of herself. Something is wrong. 

She doesn't have much space to dwell on it, though, because the moment she considers telling Vanyel about this, which she obviously has to do, her entire mind is suddenly frozen. 

I don't understand, she finds herself thinking, brokenly, pointlessly. What exactly it is that she's failing to understand is unclear. She followed everything Taver was saying, but it's as though the words and sentences don't quite connect into a story that holds together. 

For some baffling reason, she's suddenly desperately, achingly lonely. It's not a feeling she's used to; it's not something Companions tend to experience much at all, but especially not in Haven, surrounded by the herd and its constant, comforting chatter. Yfandes is only consciously realizing now that it isn't just Vanyel she's been shielding out for candlemarks.

Also it makes no sense for loneliness to be combined with a sudden desperate urge to be far away, somewhere quiet and spacious and peaceful, just her and the sky. She can almost feel the crushing buzz of minds, a whole city around her, not with Thoughtsensing but like a weight pressing down on her hide. 

After a long time, she tries to collect herself. Item one: she has to update Vanyel. Except she can't. She's stuck. There's a wall in the way, and no amount of willpower is enough to jump over its height. 

...The wall lets her reach in another direction, though. :Kellan?: she tries. 

:- 'Fandes? I'm sorry, I should've checked - how are you holding up?: 

:I don't know: She can't manage anything more. 

:Come walk with me in the field? I need to clear my head too. The interrogation...: 

:Taver told me: Again, Yfandes finds herself confusingly unable to go on. 

She lets herself out of the stables, though, and meets Kellan in the field. Eyes him. He's shaken as well, she thinks. 

For a long time neither of them says anything. They pace in silence, side by side. Yfandes keeps trying to start, and failing to come up with any words. 

She misses Gala. Of all the stupid emotions to be stuck feeling, right now. There are so many priorities higher than pointless grief for a friend she lost twelve years ago. 

Kellan, in the end, is the first to break the silence. :How's Van?: 

She should answer. She needs to answer. 

It's not happening, though. 

Kellan fidgets, tail flicking, one hoof pawing absently at the grass. 

:Are you...?: he starts to ask, but doesn't finish. His mindvoice trails off, almost puzzled. 

:Am I what?: 

:....I don't know. Lost my train of thought: Kellan's ears twitch, sheepishly. 

:Heh. It's all right. Been happening to me as well - I guess we're all under stress right now: 

It feels like more than that, though. And Yfandes is pretty sure that Kellan knows it as well. That there's something here and both of them see it - or, no, both of them know it's there but can't look at it head-on - and they're refusing to talk about it but that won't make it go away. 

All information is worth having, Vanyel always says. A sentiment that reminds her of Leareth, but it was Herald Seldasen who wrote it, centuries ago. 

:What's wrong with us?: she thinks, her mindvoice a breath on the wind. 

Kellan twitches.

He could pretend not to have heard, it was clearly one of those asides that wasn't really meant to be shared in Mindspeech, but knowing that doesn't un-ask the question, does it? 

:I don't know: 

Yfandes shivers. 

:- That's part of what's wrong. Isn't it? That we don't know: