"I think that on balance I consider it worth the risk for me to have one. Carissa, if it would help, I can swear not to use the computer for non-Worldwound-related activities, at least until such time as I could have acquired one without your permission."

"Noted," she says to Cam, "but you also haven't agreed to not do a long list of other things I don't want you to do, so, unless you're offering to agree not to act against Cheliax, the Church of Asmodeus, etcetera, I should clearly be assuming you are trying to do those things, and this is reasonable of you, I'm not upset about it,  and it means no more permissions to make stuff."

And to Jean, "will you swear not to use your chip in any way that's against my interests until such a time as you could have acquired one without my permission?"

"Surely you don't need fully general pledges not to act against those entities in order to let me put the famine relief in burlap sacks! I would have promised you to deploy burlap sacks for the sole expedient of compartmentalizing food deliveries!"

"I don't know how you were sending letters! For all I know the burlap sacks would've had things written on them in differences in coloration in the fabric!"

"They were paper and ink. Wrapped around potatoes so they wouldn't blow away. Also the messages written by decrypting addressed notes on my computer and also the prayer. I did actually write things on the edible packaging but it was just about how this famine relief did not constitute an endorsement of Communism."

"I can't tell if you think from my perspective it would've been correct to let you put the potatoes in burlap sacks, or just that from your perspective it would have been convenient."

"You have already made so many mistakes that the only thing restricting me more at this point does - at least about mundane things like burlap sacks - is kind of tick me off and encourage me to be more creative. I could kill you like I did the demonstration tomato. I could ask Razmir to show up and hassle you, though I'm convinced this would not be a good idea at this time. I could render you unconscious and haul you wherever if I knew a good place to take you and I can get the folks back home to figure out such a place if it seems like a good use of their energy."

"You can try.  Hell will tell Aspexia Rugatonn that I'm not working on the Worldwound anymore, and the Church of Abadar has my attestation that - only if unconscious or Dominated or Feebleminded or otherwise unable to act in my right mind - I consider Cheliax as my legitimate command with the legitimate right to return me home or subject me to a legal proceeding, including by removing me from the Worldwound or from operations related to it."

"Yeah, for that among other reasons I'm not actually going to do any of this, it's just, the things you have not allowed me to make are not operatively constraints there."

"From my perspective it is not obvious which constraints are operative and it is incredibly stupid to just let you do things because you claim they aren't the operative ones."

Sigh. "I want to point out that this seems to me like I'm being disincentivized from having told you what I was up to."

To Carissa—"I do not know the full details of everything you might consider your interests, and furthermore we might disagree on the matter of what's in your interests, such as whether it's in your interests to go to Hell, so no, I cannot make such an oath, although I am willing to make a more specific one along the same lines."

"I had figured out you were up to something from your suspiciously comprehensive knowledge of random things! I want to point out that I feel disincentivized from doing famine relief in Bachuan! Because you're really mad at me over the burlap sacks and wouldn't have been if I'd just said 'maybe we can do famine relief later'!"

Carissa did not at all expect Jean to make that oath. She nods curtly.

"I'm exasperated, perhaps even annoyed, about the burlap sacks, not angry."

"Nonetheless it seems like I am worse off because I tried to do famine relief in Bachuan, because you unpredictably get incredibly touchy if refused things."

"Um," says the paladin. 

"- so it's not surprising that this is a disaster of a working relationship, but it seems quite bad it's a disaster of a working relationship, do you guys want a mediator or some cloaks of the diplomat or something?"

"We were doing better before. Bantering about meeting in the middle at Lawful Good, I'm not ideologically chaotic. What's a cloak of the diplomat do?"

"It makes people more....diplomatic. Makes them have an instinct for how to say things so they go over well instead of irritating each other."

"Possibly worthwhile if she's up for it. Same with the mediator."

"Sure.

I'm - trying to work with you, here. With Cam and with - what I'm doing is in Lastwall's interests. Compared to - having stayed in Cheliax, obviously, in which case you wouldn't even have a country by now probably, and compared to my having run very very far away to be rich and just look out for myself. I'm trying to do - I don't care if it's the Good thing, but a thing that is - better for everyone. I would actually like it if in ten years there's no one who can reasonably complain this went badly, except insofar as someone else gained even more than they did."

"That's very noble," says the paladin. "...and Cheliax has almost certainly seized your family, and anyone else you've ever given any indication of caring about, as leverage against you, and will communicate soon some horrible fate they'll suffer if you don't come back, so you can't have that, though I wish you could."

"I don't care about my family."