"I have never wanted Wei Ying to hurt."

"Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan. Don't - ha. Don't say something like that. I'm not the same Wei Ying I was, I'm not. You'll be disappointed in me again - you're already disappointed in me, in what I was last time, aren't you? You must be. And I'm gonna make decisions you hate and use tools you hate, and I'm dangerous, you and Jiang Cheng both said so, please don't say you won't hurt me before you know what I'll put you through."

"I will never want you to hurt." There is nothing Wei Ying can put him through more painful than letting his love die.

"Stop it, Lan Zhan!"

He doesn't know where this is coming from or what this is, exactly, what feelings Lan Zhan may or may not be having right now, but he knows for certain that he isn't deserving of them. Lan Zhan has had two years for his memories of Wei Wuxian to soften, but Wei Wuxian is fresh from the Burial Mounds: a wreck of himself and halfway a demon and not ready to meet anyone's expectations from any timeframe. 

"If I lose control and wreak chaos, don't tell me you'll just sit there on your ass."

"If I kill your brother, your uncle, you? Come on, Lan Zhan. I'm everything your sect has taught you to extinguish since you were born, I thought lying was forbidden for you Lans."

"Wei Ying has not yet done anything --"

"Cut it out, Lan Zhan. You know what I'm capable of, you know what my Stygian Tiger Seal is for."

"You never need use it."

He won't allow it. They have more time to figure this out, don't they? Wangji already has more music scores memorized than he did to begin with, last time, it must be enough. He will make it be enough.

"I will not allow it to pass."

He can't even be properly angry that Lan Zhan feels entitled to sticking a nose in his business and keeping him on a fucking leash, because apparently future Wei Wuxian has already done more than enough damage to make that appear necessary.

"Ah, Lan Zhan. You're too good, you know, trying to save absolutely everyone at once. Too good. Really, you're spending so much effort trying to convince me you value my safety, who told you you had to do that? I won't be offended that you're keen on saving hundreds of lives, seriously. Fuck, I wouldn't be offended if you decided to cut the crap and tried to kill me right here!"

"Ai, Lan Zhan, don't look at me like that without at least buying me another drink first," he mutters eventually, looking away. "Have mercy on this poor criminal."

"I. Do not. Want. You. To die."

SIGH.

"I need. You. To live."

-- well what the fuck is That. What the fuck is he supposed to do with that, what is that, what is his heartbeat doing, what.

That's -- too much. Too much to understand and certainly too much to shrug off with a sigh. He can't -- can't. Can't. Lan Zhan doesn't know what he's talking about and Wei Wuxian doesn't know how to be whatever Lan Zhan mistook him for, and -- he is both too sober and not nearly sober enough for this.

"Lan Zhan," he says, aching.

"-- I'm alive right now. I'm - I -- I do plan to live, Lan Zhan. I promise. And I am not planning to become the scourge of the cultivation world. I swear it, that that isn't what I want. I promise. Is that enough for now? Isn't it late for a Lan, shouldn't we be going to bed now? I really really don't have enough wine."

Slow nod.

Wei Ying definitely does need sleep. He looks like he might collapse at any moment and the circles under his eyes are dark enough to compliment Chenqing. 

“Okay.” He stands. Cocks his head to the side and grins unconvincingly. “I assume you’d prefer I spare you needing to snuggle up to Jiang Cheng.”

“Don’t.”

“Oh? Ah, then you do want to snuggle up to him?” 

“Do not sleep near him.” 

“Lan Zhan, if you want me in your bed so badly you could have just said so.”